Slim Man Cooks Bay Scallops with Garlic, Butter, Lemon and Basil

Wow. That’s a long title. But when I tried to trim it down, I felt bad about whoever I was leaving out!I’ve been on a scallop kick lately. One of the reasons is...they are delizioso. I do love the flavor, texture, smell...I guess what I’m saying is...I’m a big scallop fan.But the main reason for the recent consummation of scallops is...They’re on sale at a local grocery called Sprouts. Eight bucks for a one-pound bag of frozen, wild-caught bay scallops from the Gulf of Mexico. Eight bucks!  And they really are stinkin’ good.So I’ve been buying a couple bags at a time, I keep them in the freezer for emergencies, in case there’s an earthquake or if I bang my head on the goat shed and need an ice-pack.Bay scallops are the small ones. Sea scallops are the big ones, the ridiculously expensive ones. I don’t know why sea scallops have almost doubled in price lately. Maybe there’s a scallop divers strike that I’m not aware of. Maybe scallops just aren’t having as many children as before.Regardless, sea scallops are costly. But bay scallops ain’t. And I’m really digging the bay scallops, I love the way they taste, they’re wild-caught, they don’t cost a ton of dough, and they’re easy and quick.What’s not to love?The other night here at the Slim Shack I wanted some pasta. I’ve been getting these cravings. Maybe I’m pregnant. But I’ve been craving pasta lately, so I pulled out a bag of scallops.I had a basil plant in back of the Shack, it’s been doing pretty well despite it being 189 degrees outside. Palm Springs gets hot in the summer. It was so hot the other day here at the Slim Shack that when I milked the goats all that came out was evaporated milk.I usually keep garlic and lemons and white wine handy. And I had some spaghetti, too. And I had some butter, some real good Irish butter that I had splurged on last week.So I thought I’d whip up a quick little something. I put it all together, and it was good, Slim Folks.It was so good I made it again just a few nights later. Just to be sure.And?It’s well-worthy of Slim People.NOTES:The scallops threw off a bit of liquid. It didn’t bother me, it actually made the sauce taste better. It reduced quite nicely! And the flavor, she was a-so nice!Bay scallops are small and don’t take much time at all. Try and get them to sear on each side. It’s tough, but you can do it, Slim People!I put this over pasta. Call me crazy, but I’m a glutton for gluten!But you can serve it as is with some crusty bread to your crusty friends and family. Or you can serve it over rice. Put it on bruschetta, or a pizza, or your pancakes in the morning!INGREDIENTS1 pound bay scallopsFresh cracked black pepper, brown or Turbinado sugar, and salt, a sprinkling of each3 tablespoons butter1 tablespoon olive oil5 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled½ cup dry white wineJuice from one lemon (2 tablespoons, NO SEEDS!)Small handful fresh basil leaves HERE WE GO!Put a sauté pan over medium-high heat.Add 1 tablespoon of butter, and 1 tablespoon of olive oil.When the butter has melted and starts to brown, add the scallops.Cook for 90 seconds or until the bottoms are golden.Stir/flip as best you can!Cook on the other side for 90 seconds or until golden.Remove with a slotted spoon to a platter.Reduce the heat to medium.Add the garlic, cook for a minute or two, until golden.Flip, cook for another minute or two, until golden.Add the wine and the lemon juice.Turn the heat to high, scrape and stir for a minute or so as the sauce reduces.Turn heat down to medium.Add 2 tablespoons of butter.When it melts, add the scallops.Take the basil, snip it with scissors on top of the scallops.Stir gently for a minute.Turn off the heat.She’s a-done!I put my scallop sauce over pasta, I cooked a half-pound of spaghetti in salted boiling water, drained it, and added it right to the sauce and gave it a toss.She’s a-so nice!MANGIAMO!!! 

Slim Man Cooks Lamb Chops with Rosemary and Garlic

I don’t eat a lot of red meat. But when I was living with my uncle Oscar, he’d cook the occasional lamb chop, or Osso Buco.  The guy was an amazing cook.  His palate was refined.  His senses were keen.  He once walked out of the bedroom and told me I had overcooked the fish, and damned if I hadn’t.He was in amazing shape, physically, mentally--in every way, Unc was in great condition.  He was in his 80’s.  He ate meat every once in a while.So I figured, what the hell—I’ll have what he’s having.Unc used to get pissed off when he was having a dinner party and people would call in advance and give him their dietary restrictions.“I can’t eat meat, I can’t have dairy, I can’t eat tomatoes, I don’t eat shellfish…”I once had a dinner party and a gal sent me a list of 20 things she couldn’t eat.  One of them was eggplant.  I had already made eggplant Parmigiano.  So I made a Bolognese sauce as well.  Just for her.  It was one of the few things she could eat.It took three hours.  She never showed up.  True story.These days, when I go to a dinner party, I just shut up and eat whatever they’re serving.  It hasn’t killed me yet.But there’s still time…NOTES:Thicker pieces of lamb take longer, thinner pieces take less time. Also, if you want them to be rare, obviously cook them for less time. For well-cooked, cook 'em longer!INGREDIENTS1 pound lamb chops (I had 6, each about ¾ inch thick)1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary1 clove garlic, minced (a generous teaspoon)1 teaspoon olive oil, plus 1½ tablespoons for searing1½ tablespoons butter HERE WE GO!Put the chopped rosemary and the minced garlic on a chopping boardEven though they’re already chopped, chop ‘em up together for a minutePut them in a small bowlAdd a teaspoon of olive oil, mix it up.Place the lamb chops on a large plateRub a little of the rosemary/garlic/olive oil mixture on top of each lamb chop—only on one side!!  Spread it around evenlyAdd a little Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepperGet a large fry pan (I used a 10-inch pan)Turn the heat to highAdd the 1½ tablespoons of butter, and the remaining 1½ tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter starts to brown, add the lamb chops—spiced side down!Turn the heat down to medium-highCook for 2 or 3 minutes.Using tongs, turn em overCook for another 2 or 3 minutes until doneThat’s it!!Plate it up, make it look nice, add a sprig of rosemary, maybe a dollop of risotto, a couple baked asparagus spears, and…MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Fregola

My niece got married in June.My sister had five kids, all by Cesarean. They’re all pretty normal, except every time they leave the house they go out the window.My sister would be laid up after each birth, so Uncle Slimmy would babysit the newborn until my sister's stomach recovered, a couple weeks. At one point, I had a newborn, a 2-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 6-year-old and an 8-year-old.It wasn’t easy, but it was such a wonderful experience. I loved it, and I loved them. Still do!The niece who just got married...her husband...I love the guy. He’s funny and smart and cool and comes from a great family. They met in high school in Pennsylvania.The wedding was in Philly, a town I hadn’t been to in a while. Man, it has changed. I stayed at a hotel right in the heart of downtown. I took a jog/walk up to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the one where the statue of Rocky is.Rocky. Remember that movie? Sylvester Stallone? When he was training for his big fight, he’d end his exercise routine with a jog up the museum steps as the theme song played. “Flying high now!”I jogged up those steps. And when I got to the top, I played my own theme song. “It’s All About Love!” Seemed suitable for the City of Brotherly Love, which is Philly’s nickname. I jogged back to the hotel, and right next door was one of the best urban markets I’ve ever been to.The Reading Terminal Market. They had everything. Bay scallops, sea scallops, all kinds of fresh fish, meats, produce, Philly cheesesteaks, pastries...they even had pig’s feet.Which were pretty disgusting looking.My Mom was from down south, and they had big jars of pickled pig’s feet in this red liquid, sitting on counters at gas stations. Unrefigerated. You could stick your hand in the jar, grab a pickled pig’s foot, and start gnawing.I never ate any. I couldn’t get past the visual.The night before the wedding, they had a rehearsal dinner. There wasn’t any rehearsing, it was just a way for folks from the two families to get to know each other. It was held in an upstairs room at one of those hipster restaurants, the kind where the guys have beards and glasses with big black frames, and boots that look like the kind that soldiers wore in the Civil War.Except this was modern-day Philly.I’ll admit this, the food was good. They had a couple choices for entrees, chicken or salmon. I’ve been eating a lot of chicken lately. I’ve been eating so much chicken I’m starting to sprout wings between my shoulder blades. I’m afraid I might start spitting feathers out of my mouth.So I ordered the salmon.When they brought me the plate, the salmon looked beautiful. I took a bite, it was pretty damn good. It was resting on...what was it? It looked like some kind of couscous. I took a bite, and it was delizioso. She was a-so nice!I could tell it wasn’t couscous. I asked the waiter what it was.Fregola.What?Fregola.Which had me looking it up on my phone. I was trying to stay off the damn phone, especially at a gathering where you’re supposed to get to know people. But I had to know what fregola was.Well, Slim People…it’s a pasta from Sardinia. Sometimes it's spelled "fregola" and sometimes "fregula." It was about the size and shape of BBs, and that night in Philly it was done in a simple sauce, as a side dish.Sardinia is a place I’ve always wanted to visit; it’s an Italian island in the Mediterranean, off the East coast of Italy. I read an article in National Geographic a few years ago; the people of Sardinia live exceptionally long lives. The National Geographic folks were trying to figure out why.Maybe it’s the fregola!It’s usually served in a simple sauce, like a tomato sauce with some pecorino-Romano cheese. It’s usually a side dish, except when they make it with clams, tiny clams from the Mediterranean.When I got back to Palm Springs, I decided to find some fregola.I couldn’t. I went to all kinds of food stores, and when I asked for fregola, people looked at me like I had two heads.What to do?I went online. I found some on Amazon, and ordered it. It was expensive, about $8 bucks a pound. Normally pasta costs a couple bucks, but this was imported from Sardinia. Shipping was $6 bucks. I decided to splurge.It’s a durum wheat semolina pasta, which is what most Italian pastas are made from. But fregola is toasted in an oven at the end of the pasta-making process. The pasta was many shades of brown. Each little pellet was a different color...beige, tan, burnt Sienna.What the hell is burnt Sienna anyway?So I followed the instructions on the package, cooked it in salted water for about 12 minutes. Then I drained it, and added a little olive oil and butter. I made one batch with some Slim pesto and another batch with Slim’s tomato sauce.It was so good. It had a slightly nutty flavor, and I thought I tasted a mild saffron-type spice. I like trying new foods, especially Italian foods. And this was one of the best new dishes I’ve cooked in quite a while. And it was so simple.How was the wedding the next day? It was great. Yes, it rained...torrential downpours and thunder and lightning. At least it was inside. Sometimes when the weather is really crazy, it somehow makes an event seem more memorable.“Remember the wedding? It was raining cats and dogs!”Now, I’m not sure where that expression came from. But it was raining really hard.Fregola. It sounds like an Italian curse word. "Slim Man! Che fregola!"This is gonna be quick, Slim People. And easy! And delizioso.INGREDIENTSA couple tablespoons of Kosher salt1 pound fregolaA couple tablespoons of olive oilA couple tablespoons of butter, room temperature1 cup simple tomato sauce½ cup of pesto sauceFreshly grated pecorino-Romano cheeseFreshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheeseHERE WE GO!Get a large pot, fill it with fresh, cold water, and put it on the highest heat you gots.When it comes to a boil, add the Kosher salt (I use 2 generous tablespoons).Add the fregola pasta.Keep the heat up during the whole process!Stir and cook for about 12 minutes or so, until al dente—firm to the bite.Drain the fregola.Put half in one bowl, and half in another bowl.Add a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter to each bowl.Mix gently, make sure the butter has melted.Add the pesto sauce to one bowl, and the tomato sauce to the other.Mix gently.Dish it up!Put a serving of each on a plate. Add a little grated pecorino cheese to the tomato sauce fregola, and some Parmigiano to the pesto sauce fregola. MANGIAMO!!!

Slim Man Cooks Salmon with Leeks

Once again, I was faced with the dilemma...how can I prepare salmon in a new way?Lady Peoples, they love salmon. I once went out with a girl who ate salmon so often, grizzly bears tried to attack her when we went to the zoo.Trying to find a new way of cooking salmon can be a challenge. I’ve baked it, seared it, broiled it, grilled it, poached it…I was running out of ways to cook it! So I thought maybe I’d sear it, just the top, and then steam it.I saw a recipe that included Dijon mustard. I like Dijon mustard. I mean, I don’t eat spoonfuls out of the jar, but as far as condiments go, I like it.But on a piece of fish? I had my doubts. But I thought I’d try it, and see what it was like.It was good! There’s just a teaspoon, so it’s not overwhelming. And it was really subtle. If you didn’t know there was Dijon in the sauce, you might not have detected it.I used Wild Alaskan King salmon. It was thick and fresh and about $11 a pound, which is about half of what you normally pay. The filets I got were about an inch thick.You can use halibut, or any firm-fleshed thick fish. Thinner fish won’t work.I really like this dish. When you cook/sear/braise the top of the salmon first, it gets a nice crispness. Then when you steam it over the leeks, it stays really moist inside. It’s a nice contrast, the crispness of the top, and the steaminess of the rest.I’ve always liked the french-fried onions that come in a can that you use over string beans at Thanksgiving. I thought they might go well on top of the salmon. But I wanted to make them myself. So I took some slivered leeks, and fried them in some butter and olive oil until golden.Wow. They were good. They tasted great, just a few on top of the salmon at the very end. I made a little teepee, and it looked cool, and tasted great.Leeks...they’re dirty! Make sure you clean them real good. And cut off the root at the end, and cut off the dark green parts/leaves on top. The dark green leaves are tough like shoe leather! So just use the pale green and white parts of the leeks.INGREDIENTS1 cup leeks, white and pale green parts only, cleaned thoroughly and cut into matchstick slivers½ cup leeks, the same way (these are for garnish)¼ cup of flour4 tablespoons butter3 tablespoons olive oilSalt and pepperTwo 8-ounce Wild Alaskan King Salmon filets, about an inch thick each1 teaspoon Dijon mustard¾ cup dry white wine1 tablespoon lemon juice, fresh squeezed2 tablespoons fresh Italian parsley, choppedHERE WE GO!Let’s fry some leeks first. We will use these on top of the salmon, at the very end.Put a small sauté pan over medium-high heat.Add 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil, and let them heat up!Put the flour on a plate.Take the ½ cup of leeks, and add them to the flour and mix.Pick up the leeks, let the excess flour shake off, and put them in the pan.When the edges of the leeks turn pale gold, a minute or two, turn them over.Cook them on the other side until pale gold.Remove to a plate lined with a paper towel, and add salt and pepper.Don’t throw out the flour yet!And now for the salmon…Sprinkle the tops of each salmon filet with some Kosher salt. Mazel tov!Put 2 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium heat.When the butter melts and bubbles, add the salmon, skin side up.Cook for 3 or 4 minutes.Remove the salmon to a large plate.To the sauté pan, add the final 1 tablespoon of butter, 1 cup of slivered leeks, the mustard, and some Kosher salt.Stir gently and cook for 3 minutes, until leeks are soft.Add wine, and let it cook off for a minute or two.Add the salmon to the pan, skin/raw side down, right on top of the leeks.Cover and simmer for 8 minutes, or until done (pale pink in the middle, and slightly flaky).Remove the salmon to two gorgeous plates.Add the lemon juice and parsley to the pan.Add a touch of flour, and stir gently.Taste for salt and pepper and adjust.Pour a little sauce over each salmon filet. Add some crispy leeks on top, like a teepee.MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Chicken with Sun-Dried Tomatoes and Basil

The most popular thing to eat in the USA?Well, the most popular thing to eat is a sandwich. And you can see why…a couple pieces of bread, a few slices of meat and cheese, maybe some lettuce and tomato and you’re done in 5 minutes.But the most popular food we eat here in good ol’ America?Chicken.Chicken!There’s a lot of it, it ain’t expensive, and it’s available almost everywhere. The other day I was at the grocery store and noticed a package of chicken that had “air-chilled” written on the package. It was a little more expensive than the regular chicken. What gives?Then I read an article in Cook’s Illustrated magazine. These guys and gals go way deep into food and cooking and they often get scientific and specific. They do elaborate tests. They don’t accept advertising, which is probably why the magazine costs around $300 a copy.So when they recommend something, it’s been tested and tried and fried every whichaway. And they highly recommend air-chilled chicken.So do I, Slim People. It tastes mo better. Why?Chicken needs to be chilled to be safe to eat. In Europe, they chill chickens with air. In the US, most chicken is chilled by soaking it in cold water, water that’s sometimes…chlorinated.Nice.But air-chilled chicken is cooled by purified air, the chicken moves along tracks as it gets blown with frigid air. Kinda like going up an escalator in a mall during the summer.Because the chicken is cooled by air and not in water, it cooks better, tastes better, looks better. It’s juicy, Lucy! The difference was noticeable to me, and I’m no chicken expert. Although I am considering a career move…In this recipe, I used sun-dried tomatoes packed in oil. Olive oil, preferably. Anything except motor oil.I’ve done this dish two ways, one with fresh basil, and one with thyme. If you use basil, you’ll need a small handful. You’ll need less thyme…INGREDIENTS3 tablespoons olive oil½ cup flourSalt and fresh-cracked black pepper4 chicken cutlets (2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, sliced in half)2 tablespoons butter4 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled¼ cup dry white wine½ cup sun-dried tomatoes, cut into small piecesFresh basil (a ¼ cup, leaves snipped or torn) or fresh thyme (a big tablespoon, chopped)HERE WE GO…Put the olive oil in a sauté pan big enough to hold all 4 cutlets.Turn the heat to medium-high.Put the flour on a plate (I use a pie plate).Sprinkle in some salt and fresh-cracked black pepper, about ½ teaspoon each, and mix.Put a cutlet in the flour, dust both sides, and put it in the sauté pan.Do this with all 4 cutlets.Sprinkle a little salt and some fresh cracked black pepper on top of each cutlet, press it in!Let the cutlets cook undisturbed for 4 minutes, or until pale gold on the bottom.Flip ‘em over!Cook on the other side for 4 minutes or until pale gold.Remove them to a plate.Turn the heat down to medium.With a wooden spoon, gently scrape off any tidbits stuck to the bottom of the pan.Add the butter.Swirl it around, let it melt.Add the garlic, and swirl it around for a minute or two.When the garlic is pale gold, add the white wine and swirl for a minute or so.Add the sun-dried tomatoes and give it a stir for a minute or two.Add the basil or the thyme and stir.Dish it up! Make it look good. Pour some sauce over the cutlets, garnish with a basil leaf or sprig of thyme, and…MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Shrimp with Broccoli and Grape Tomatoes

Men sometimes go a couple days without showering. If it’s a weekend, and nobody’s coming over, most men just let it go. I hate to admit this, SlimNation, but I do this maybe once a month when I’m in solitary confinement at the Fortress of Slim Solitude.Well, a couple days ago, I was tired, dead on my feet. I was starving, but I didn’t want to take a shower and go to the store; I just wanted to barricade myself in the Slim Shack and hibernate. So I took a look around to see what was available.I call this pot luck pasta. I’ve done it many times. Back when I was a starving musician, I’d take a look in the cupboard and the fridg and make a sauce of whatever I could find. Sometimes it was good. Sometimes it wasn’t.I once made a pasta sauce with Swiss cheese that was so hard to gag down that one of the guys in the band named it “Fettucine del Cemento.” Seriously.It sat in the bowl like a mound of muddy muck. It was so chewy that it could’ve pulled the fillings out of your teeth. I could have fixed the front sidewalk with it.But last night I made this pot luck pasta sauce and it was really good. You know it’s really good when you heat it up the next day and it tastes even better than the day before. And this was good, Slim People.So, taking inventory at the Slim Shack, I saw that I had some broccoli. I also had a thing of grape tomatoes. I tasted both, because if you take a taste of broccoli, for instance, and your first instinct is to spit it on the floor, you might not want to use it in your sauce.The broccoli tasted good; the grape tomatoes were some of the most delicious I’ve ever tasted. They were organic, they were not expensive, and they were so good I ate a handful right there. I just kept popping them in my tomato hole. The tomatoes were also beautiful; red, yellow, orange, green.Then, I looked in the freezer and noticed some frozen shrimp, wild. And on the refrigerator door I had about a half a glass of pinot grigio left in the bottom of a bottle, and I found a Tupperware of toasted pine nuts (pignoli) on the shelf that I had leftover from making pesto sauce.So I put them all together, and…she was a-so nice! Seriously delish and nutrish.I put it over pasta, but you can put it over bruschetta, or rice, or on a pizza. The pasta I used had a strange name that I don’t remember, it looked like penne rigate, but it had a fold running down the center. It was in a half-pound package. And it was delizioso!So, here it is. Slim’s Pot Luck Pasta without the pot. But with all the luck!Oh, and I took a shower the next day. I didn’t want you Slim People to think Uncle Slimmy had gone all raggedy on ya.INGREDIENTS ½ pound of pasta (spaghetti or linguine work well, but use what ya gots!)Olive oil, a couple tablespoons6 large garlic cloves, smashed and peeledCrushed red pepper to taste1 cup broccoli florets (make sure the pieces are small)½ cup dry white wine¾ pound medium wild shrimp, de-shelled and de-veined2 tablespoons of butter, cut into small pieces1 cup grape tomatoes, cut in half, seeds squeezed out¼ cup toasted pine nuts (pignoli toasted in a dry pan over medium heat, shake often)OPTIONAL: freshly grated Parmigiano cheese for schprinkling, will explain later!HERE WE GO…Get a large pot, fill it full of cold water, put it on the highest heat possible. ALWAYS KEEP THE HEAT HIGH!When the water comes to a boil, add a couple tablespoons of coarse Kosher salt.Add the pasta. Stir often. As the pasta cooks, now let’s whip up the sauce…DA SAUCEGet a large saute pan, put it over medium heat, and add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.Add the garlic cloves, let them saute a couple minutes until pale gold, then turn over and do the same to the other side. DON’T BURN YOUR GARLIC. It tastes really bitter, Slim Folks.Add the broccoli, and give it a stir. Cook for a couple minutes until the broccoli wilts, stir often.Add the white wine, turn up the heat to high, and let the wine cook off for a minute or two.Turn the heat back to medium and add the shrimp in a single layer, sprinkle with a little salt.Let the shrimp cook for 2 minutes or so, then turn them over, sprinkle a little salt on top.Add the butter, arrange the pieces between the shrimp.Let this cook for 2 minutes or so, and then add the grape tomatoes.Give it a GENTLE stir, and let the tomaters heat up for a minute or two.REMOVE FROM HEAT, SAUCE IS DONE DA DONE DONE!The pasta? Remember that?When the pasta is al dente, firm to the bite, drain it, put it in a beautiful bowl, and drizzle with a little olive oil, give it a stir or three.Add the sauce right on top of the pasta, and give it a gentle stir.Dish it up! Put a serving in one of them expensive-looking plates, sprinkle a few pine nuts on top.Some women folk I know like to put grated Parmigiano cheese on top. Most Italians don’t do this, but if the Slim Woman wants cheese, save yourself some trouble, my Man Friends, and just shut up and grate.MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Red Wine Sauce for Fish, Chicken, Whatever…

I'd made a red wine sauce before, but it wasn’t where I wanted it to be.  The sauce was a little bland, and a little thin.  I kept on making batches of red wine sauce, and none was good enough for you, my Slim People.It was bugging me.  It was keeping me up at night.  And then, around dawn, it dawned on me.I added a little tomato paste to the sauce to thicken it up and give it a little zing.  Then I added a little dried oregano to give it some zip.  Zip!  Zing!  It turned out great.Oregano is the only herb that I prefer dried.  Basil?  I rarely use dried basil, it is nowhere near as good as fresh.  Rosemary?  Same thing.  Oregano?  I like the dried oregano more than the fresh.  It tastes mo’ better to me.  But what do I know?A few things before we get started…I put this sauce over ahi tuna steaks. The tuna steaks I used were about an inch and a half thick.  Over medium-high heat, I cooked them for 90 seconds per side.  They turned out great—the pepper/salt/sugar that I had sprinkled on top gave them a nice sear, and they were a beautiful pink on the inside.You can also use this sauce over grilled chicken, steak au poivre, or use it as a hair gel or massage oil. She's a-so nice!Also, when you light your cognac on fire, be careful.  Yes, the subsequent explosion of flame looks so cool and very dramatic, but have the fire department on the line in one hand, and a garden hose in the other.Also, right before you light the cognac, if there are people around that you don’t like, gather them close to the flame.  Or better yet—have them light the cognac.  Stand behind them.Here we go…INGREDIENTS2 ahi tuna steaks, about a half pound (8 ounces) each4 tablespoons butter4 tablespoons olive oilFresh ground black pepperKosher salt (I use it for taste, not for religious reasons, Shalom!)Brown sugar or raw/turbinado sugar (I sometimes use plain sugar in a pinch)2 ounces of cognac2 tablespoons chopped shallots1 tablespoon chopped garlic½ cup red wine½ cup stock (I used beef)½ teaspoon dried oregano2 tablespoons tomato paste The sauce:In a small pan over medium heat, add 2 tablespoons of butter, and 2 tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter melts…Add the 2 tablespoons of chopped shallots, and the tablespoon garlicCook about 2 minutes, stir a few timesAdd the 2 ounces of cognacStand back, Jack, and set it on fire with one of those long-ass lightersWhen the cognac burns off…Add the 1/2 cup red wine, and the1/2 cup beef stockTurn the heat on medium-high and reduce for about 5 minutesAdd the oregano, stirAdd tomato paste, stir in for a minute or soRemove from heatLet's cook some fish:Rinse and pat dry the ahi tuna steaksAdd some fresh cracked black pepper, some kosher salt and a sprinkle of turibinado/brown sugar on top of each steakGet a fry pan, put it over medium-high heatAdd 2 tabespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter starts to smoke, add the tuna, peppered side downLightly salt and pepper and sugar the non-spiced sideAfter 90 seconds, turn overCook for another minute and a halfPlate it upPut some greens on a plate, place the tuna on top, drizzle just a little red wine sauce over each piece, and… MANGIAMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slim Man Cooks Slim's Manly Balls of Salmon

I’ve promised myself to stay positive.So, instead of saying I’m sick of salmon, I’m gonna say…I’m glad I have teeth so I can eat.But I’m getting sick of salmon. That’s all the women folks want to eat these days. So…what’s a Man to do with all that leftover salmon?Make salmon balls! They’re Manly!They make a great appetizer, you can put a bunch of ‘em on a plate and call them an entrée, you can use them when you do your juggling routine, but most important…they’re really good.I made a quick aioli sauce, which sounds fancy, but ain’t; it’s quick and simple and Manly and she’s a-so nice! It’s basically mayo and mustard and garlic, and it takes 7.9 seconds to make.The toughest part of this recipe is pulling the balls off the salmon.NOTES:You’ll need to squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart when you cook ‘em.INGREDIENTS2 cups leftover salmon filet, crumbled, any skin and bones removed1 ½ cups leftover roasted potatoes, cooked, smashed (I used red)2 eggs, beaten½ cup panko bread crumbs2 tablespoons parsley, choppedS&P1 tablespoon olive oil (to sauté the shallots and red bell pepper)2 tablespoons shallot, minced2 tablespoons red bell pepper, chopped4 tablespoons olive oil (to sauté your balls)1 cup flour (you might not need it all)This recipe yields 18 balls. At least it did for me…HERE WE GO!Put the leftover salmon, the potatoes, the eggs, the bread crumbs and the parsley in a small bowl. Mix gently.Add salt and pepper; I used a shy teaspoon of coarse Kosher salt and the same of fresh cracked black pepper. Mick ‘em up!and mix again, by hand. Be gentle!Put a tablespoon of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the shallots and red bell pepper, and cook and stir for just a couple minutes. Shake gently while cooking.Put the shallots and red bell peppers in the bowl with the other stuff.When it's cool, dig in with your mitts, and mick ‘em up. Mix until it feels right, you don’t want it too smooth or too chunky. You’ll know when it’s right.Take some of this delectable mixture, about the size of a golf ball, and put it in your palm, and roll it into a ball.This next step is important. Squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart.So squeeze your salmon ball in one palm, then toss it into your other palm and gently squeeze, then toss it back in the other palm and squeeze. Do this a couple times. You’ll feel like a real Italian.Do this with all the salmon stuff. I rolled 18 salmon balls.Get a large sauté pan, put it over medium-high heat.Put in 4 tablespoons of olive oil.Get a large plate, put the flour in it and spread it around.Take a salmon ball, gently roll it in the flour, shake off the excess.Do this with all your balls, and then saute IMMEDIATELY! You leave your balls sitting around, and they’ll get soggy. And nobody likes soggy balls.Put the salmon balls in the olive oil, cook until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Turn ‘em over, and cook on the other side until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Remove to a platter lined with a couple layers of paper towels.Dish it up!Serve it on one of them good-looking plates you save for Thanksgiving, add a sprig of parsley, and put a little Slim Aioli on the side, or some plain mustard or tartar sauce and…MANGIAMO!