Slim Man Cooks Salmon Cakes

Yesterday I did a 5@5 show, one where I sang nine Nat King Cole songs. When I finished, I was stinkin’ starvin’. I was on the phone with Hit Man Howie Z; he was giving me feedback on the show.

He was back east in B-Mo (Baltimore, Maryland), I was in Palm Springs, Californee.

As we were talking, I was looking in the cupboard for something to cook because everything else I had was frozen and I didn’t feel like waiting for things to defrost.

The only thing I could find was a can of wild Alaskan salmon

I looked at that can of salmon as I was talking to Hit Man Howie, and then it Hit me...

Make fish cakes! Make them like you make crab cakes, but with salmon instead. 

Jumbo lump crabmeat is about $900 a pound these days.

Well, maybe not that much. But when I went online the other day, it was $70 a pound. Seriously. And that did not include the $35 bucks for overnight shipping.

So...I told Howie I was thinking of making salmon cakes. And then Howie started telling me I should make them like he makes his crab cakes. A little Old Bay. An egg. Mayonnaise. Mustard...

I had most of the ingredients. I hung up with Hit Man and started organizing. And improvising...

I added some fresh Italian parsley, some panko breadcrumbs, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce to the mix...

I made small cakes, broiled them, and...

They were was Wowza. Howza Wowza!

I broiled them for about 5 minutes, and I’m telling you Slim People, they were pretty good.

You can serve them as they are or make a sandwich. 

NOTES:

When you open the can of salmon, drain it. Then put the salmon on a plate. Pick through it. It might have some soft bones, some skin. Get rid of all that stuff and anything else that looks funky. I also remove the dark areas of the salmon.

When you mix all the ingredients together, make sure the mixture is not too soggy. If it is, add a little more breadcrumbs. If it’s too dry, add a touch more mayo.

The can of salmon I used was actually about 14 ounces, not the usual 16 ounce can.

That can of salmon made five medium salmon cakes.

INGREDIENTS

One 16 ounce can wild Alaskan salmon (drained, bones, skin, and dark areas removed)

2 tablespoons mayonnaise

1 egg

½ cup panko breadcrumbs (Howie sometimes uses crumbled Saltines instead)

1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning

2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley

A dash of Worcestershire sauce

Salt and fresh cracked black pepper to taste

Put all the ingredients in a bowl.

Mix them by hand. If it’s too soggy, add some breadcrumbs. If it’s too dry, add a little mayo.

When she’s a so nice, make small cakes, about the size of a tin of chewing tabacky.

Turn on your broiler.

Get a baking pan or dish, put a little olive oil in the bottom. Wipe with excess with a paper towel. You just want a light coating on the bottom of the pan so the salmon cakes won’t stick to the pan.

Put the salmon cakes in the pan, stick under the broiler. Keep your eyes on these guys! From start to finish. 

Broil for 3 minutes and then check them. You want the tops to be golden brown. If they ain’t put ‘em back in until they are.

When they are goldenly delicious, take the salmon cakes out of the oven.

Dish ‘em up!

You can serve them with cocktail sauce, mustard, mayo, or just eat ‘em plain like I do!

MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Bay Scallops with Garlic, Butter, Lemon and Basil

Wow. That’s a long title. But when I tried to trim it down, I felt bad about whoever I was leaving out!I’ve been on a scallop kick lately. One of the reasons is...they are delizioso. I do love the flavor, texture, smell...I guess what I’m saying is...I’m a big scallop fan.But the main reason for the recent consummation of scallops is...They’re on sale at a local grocery called Sprouts. Eight bucks for a one-pound bag of frozen, wild-caught bay scallops from the Gulf of Mexico. Eight bucks!  And they really are stinkin’ good.So I’ve been buying a couple bags at a time, I keep them in the freezer for emergencies, in case there’s an earthquake or if I bang my head on the goat shed and need an ice-pack.Bay scallops are the small ones. Sea scallops are the big ones, the ridiculously expensive ones. I don’t know why sea scallops have almost doubled in price lately. Maybe there’s a scallop divers strike that I’m not aware of. Maybe scallops just aren’t having as many children as before.Regardless, sea scallops are costly. But bay scallops ain’t. And I’m really digging the bay scallops, I love the way they taste, they’re wild-caught, they don’t cost a ton of dough, and they’re easy and quick.What’s not to love?The other night here at the Slim Shack I wanted some pasta. I’ve been getting these cravings. Maybe I’m pregnant. But I’ve been craving pasta lately, so I pulled out a bag of scallops.I had a basil plant in back of the Shack, it’s been doing pretty well despite it being 189 degrees outside. Palm Springs gets hot in the summer. It was so hot the other day here at the Slim Shack that when I milked the goats all that came out was evaporated milk.I usually keep garlic and lemons and white wine handy. And I had some spaghetti, too. And I had some butter, some real good Irish butter that I had splurged on last week.So I thought I’d whip up a quick little something. I put it all together, and it was good, Slim Folks.It was so good I made it again just a few nights later. Just to be sure.And?It’s well-worthy of Slim People.NOTES:The scallops threw off a bit of liquid. It didn’t bother me, it actually made the sauce taste better. It reduced quite nicely! And the flavor, she was a-so nice!Bay scallops are small and don’t take much time at all. Try and get them to sear on each side. It’s tough, but you can do it, Slim People!I put this over pasta. Call me crazy, but I’m a glutton for gluten!But you can serve it as is with some crusty bread to your crusty friends and family. Or you can serve it over rice. Put it on bruschetta, or a pizza, or your pancakes in the morning!INGREDIENTS1 pound bay scallopsFresh cracked black pepper, brown or Turbinado sugar, and salt, a sprinkling of each3 tablespoons butter1 tablespoon olive oil5 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled½ cup dry white wineJuice from one lemon (2 tablespoons, NO SEEDS!)Small handful fresh basil leaves HERE WE GO!Put a sauté pan over medium-high heat.Add 1 tablespoon of butter, and 1 tablespoon of olive oil.When the butter has melted and starts to brown, add the scallops.Cook for 90 seconds or until the bottoms are golden.Stir/flip as best you can!Cook on the other side for 90 seconds or until golden.Remove with a slotted spoon to a platter.Reduce the heat to medium.Add the garlic, cook for a minute or two, until golden.Flip, cook for another minute or two, until golden.Add the wine and the lemon juice.Turn the heat to high, scrape and stir for a minute or so as the sauce reduces.Turn heat down to medium.Add 2 tablespoons of butter.When it melts, add the scallops.Take the basil, snip it with scissors on top of the scallops.Stir gently for a minute.Turn off the heat.She’s a-done!I put my scallop sauce over pasta, I cooked a half-pound of spaghetti in salted boiling water, drained it, and added it right to the sauce and gave it a toss.She’s a-so nice!MANGIAMO!!! 

Slim Man Cooks Salmon with Leeks

Once again, I was faced with the dilemma...how can I prepare salmon in a new way?Lady Peoples, they love salmon. I once went out with a girl who ate salmon so often, grizzly bears tried to attack her when we went to the zoo.Trying to find a new way of cooking salmon can be a challenge. I’ve baked it, seared it, broiled it, grilled it, poached it…I was running out of ways to cook it! So I thought maybe I’d sear it, just the top, and then steam it.I saw a recipe that included Dijon mustard. I like Dijon mustard. I mean, I don’t eat spoonfuls out of the jar, but as far as condiments go, I like it.But on a piece of fish? I had my doubts. But I thought I’d try it, and see what it was like.It was good! There’s just a teaspoon, so it’s not overwhelming. And it was really subtle. If you didn’t know there was Dijon in the sauce, you might not have detected it.I used Wild Alaskan King salmon. It was thick and fresh and about $11 a pound, which is about half of what you normally pay. The filets I got were about an inch thick.You can use halibut, or any firm-fleshed thick fish. Thinner fish won’t work.I really like this dish. When you cook/sear/braise the top of the salmon first, it gets a nice crispness. Then when you steam it over the leeks, it stays really moist inside. It’s a nice contrast, the crispness of the top, and the steaminess of the rest.I’ve always liked the french-fried onions that come in a can that you use over string beans at Thanksgiving. I thought they might go well on top of the salmon. But I wanted to make them myself. So I took some slivered leeks, and fried them in some butter and olive oil until golden.Wow. They were good. They tasted great, just a few on top of the salmon at the very end. I made a little teepee, and it looked cool, and tasted great.Leeks...they’re dirty! Make sure you clean them real good. And cut off the root at the end, and cut off the dark green parts/leaves on top. The dark green leaves are tough like shoe leather! So just use the pale green and white parts of the leeks.INGREDIENTS1 cup leeks, white and pale green parts only, cleaned thoroughly and cut into matchstick slivers½ cup leeks, the same way (these are for garnish)¼ cup of flour4 tablespoons butter3 tablespoons olive oilSalt and pepperTwo 8-ounce Wild Alaskan King Salmon filets, about an inch thick each1 teaspoon Dijon mustard¾ cup dry white wine1 tablespoon lemon juice, fresh squeezed2 tablespoons fresh Italian parsley, choppedHERE WE GO!Let’s fry some leeks first. We will use these on top of the salmon, at the very end.Put a small sauté pan over medium-high heat.Add 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil, and let them heat up!Put the flour on a plate.Take the ½ cup of leeks, and add them to the flour and mix.Pick up the leeks, let the excess flour shake off, and put them in the pan.When the edges of the leeks turn pale gold, a minute or two, turn them over.Cook them on the other side until pale gold.Remove to a plate lined with a paper towel, and add salt and pepper.Don’t throw out the flour yet!And now for the salmon…Sprinkle the tops of each salmon filet with some Kosher salt. Mazel tov!Put 2 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium heat.When the butter melts and bubbles, add the salmon, skin side up.Cook for 3 or 4 minutes.Remove the salmon to a large plate.To the sauté pan, add the final 1 tablespoon of butter, 1 cup of slivered leeks, the mustard, and some Kosher salt.Stir gently and cook for 3 minutes, until leeks are soft.Add wine, and let it cook off for a minute or two.Add the salmon to the pan, skin/raw side down, right on top of the leeks.Cover and simmer for 8 minutes, or until done (pale pink in the middle, and slightly flaky).Remove the salmon to two gorgeous plates.Add the lemon juice and parsley to the pan.Add a touch of flour, and stir gently.Taste for salt and pepper and adjust.Pour a little sauce over each salmon filet. Add some crispy leeks on top, like a teepee.MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Halibut with Peppadew, Olives, and Garlic

My Dad—I called him Paps—used to say my music was like ginger ale.“It’s not for everybody.”I get it, I understood what he was saying. You’ve got Coke. You’ve got Pepsi. They’re the Big Two, people drink billions of bottles a day. Both are extremely popular.And then you have ginger ale. That’s me.This recipe is like ginger ale, it’s really good and a nice change of pace, but it might not be for everybody. That’s OK. I love it. It’s unique.I was in Carlsbad, California, and as I was driving home from a walk on the beach, I stopped at a fish store. They had some halibut that was so fresh it pinched me on the buttcheek as I walked by. The nerve! Hasn’t he been reading the papers?He should have--I think he was wrapped in one!Carlsbad must be the halibut capital of the world. They always seem to have an abundance and it ain't too expensive at all.I bought a one-pound piece, it looked wonderful and smelled like the sea. Then I went next door to the grocery store and bought some antipasti. Antipasti means “before the pasta” in Italian. It’s usually some peppers, olives, cheeses, salami, that kind of stuff. You have antipasti out on plates as your guests arrive at the trailer park.I wasn’t having anyone over for dinner, I just thought it might be nice to gnaw on an olive while I was cooking.So I bought some green and black Cerignola olives. My uncle Oscar used to buy these huge jars of Cerignola olives, and I always loved them. Then I got some red peppers. Or at least, I always thought they were red peppers.They were red, yes. And they were peppers, yes. I’ve been eating them for quite a while, and I always thought they were Italian. I was wrong. I know, hard to believe that Mr. Man could ever be wrong about anything, but it happened.I saw a little sign right above the bright red peppers, a sign that said “Peppadew.”Peppadew? Sounds like some kinda over-caffeinated energy beverage that the kids drink these days to get all jacked up before they go to one of them damn rock music festivals.I put some in the container with the olives, and when I got back to the house where I was dog-sitting, I decided to look them up. Peppadew.Well, it turns out that these were created—actually patented—in the 1990s in South Africa. I know, it sounds like something I’d make up, but I swear it’s true!I’ve been eating these things for years and I always thought they were Eye-Tralian. But they ain’t. They’re from South Africa, which is not too far from the country that's named in my honor…SlimBobWay.Peppadew peppers are about the size of a cherry tomato; they taste a little sweet, and a little spicy, and I’ve always liked them.So I put a few Peppadews and some olives in a bowl, and put the halibut on a plate, and in a stroke of fish-making mastery, I decided to make a sauce with the antipasti.But I wanted to make sure everything would get along, that these flavors would synch up.I tasted a black Cerignola olive and it was delish, not too strong. I tasted the green Cerignola olives, and they tasted…too pungent. Kinda sour. I wasn’t digging the flavor, so I left them out.So, I had black Cerignola olives, Peppadew, and what else should I add?I rounded up the Usual Suspects—olive oil, lemon, garlic, and shallots.And the sauce? She was a-so nice!INGREDIENTSThe Fish:1 pound skinless halibut filet2 tablespoons olive oilKosher saltBlack pepperTurbinado sugar The Sauce:2 tablespoons olive oil2 tablespoons chopped shallots2 tablespoons dry white wine1 tablespoon minced garlic2 tablespoons chopped black olives (no seeds)2 tablespoons chopped Peppadew peppers2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsleyHERE WE GO…The FishHeat a 12 inch sauté pan over medium heat.Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.As the oil heats, sprinkle a little Kosher salt, black pepper and turbinado sugar on top of each piece of fish.Place the fish—seasoned side down—in the pan, and sauté for 3 minutes. Don’t stir, don’t move.As the fish cooks, sprinkle the unseasoned top of the fish with a little Kosher salt, black pepper, and turbinado sugar.Turn the fish over, sauté on the other side for 3 minutes.Remove the fish from the pan to a nice platter.The SauceAdd 2 tablespoons of olive oil to the fish pan.Add the shallots, let them cook for a minute or two until the edges get golden.Add the white wine, stir, and let it cook off for a minute or two.Add the garlic, cook and stir for a minute or two.Add the olives and peppers, stir and cook for a couple minutes.Add the lemon juice and parsley, stir and cook for a minute or two.That’s it!Put the sauce on the fish, make it look all pretty with a garnish of fresh parsley, and…MANGIAMO!!!

 

 

Slim Man Cooks Slim's Manly Balls of Salmon

I’ve promised myself to stay positive.So, instead of saying I’m sick of salmon, I’m gonna say…I’m glad I have teeth so I can eat.But I’m getting sick of salmon. That’s all the women folks want to eat these days. So…what’s a Man to do with all that leftover salmon?Make salmon balls! They’re Manly!They make a great appetizer, you can put a bunch of ‘em on a plate and call them an entrée, you can use them when you do your juggling routine, but most important…they’re really good.I made a quick aioli sauce, which sounds fancy, but ain’t; it’s quick and simple and Manly and she’s a-so nice! It’s basically mayo and mustard and garlic, and it takes 7.9 seconds to make.The toughest part of this recipe is pulling the balls off the salmon.NOTES:You’ll need to squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart when you cook ‘em.INGREDIENTS2 cups leftover salmon filet, crumbled, any skin and bones removed1 ½ cups leftover roasted potatoes, cooked, smashed (I used red)2 eggs, beaten½ cup panko bread crumbs2 tablespoons parsley, choppedS&P1 tablespoon olive oil (to sauté the shallots and red bell pepper)2 tablespoons shallot, minced2 tablespoons red bell pepper, chopped4 tablespoons olive oil (to sauté your balls)1 cup flour (you might not need it all)This recipe yields 18 balls. At least it did for me…HERE WE GO!Put the leftover salmon, the potatoes, the eggs, the bread crumbs and the parsley in a small bowl. Mix gently.Add salt and pepper; I used a shy teaspoon of coarse Kosher salt and the same of fresh cracked black pepper. Mick ‘em up!and mix again, by hand. Be gentle!Put a tablespoon of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the shallots and red bell pepper, and cook and stir for just a couple minutes. Shake gently while cooking.Put the shallots and red bell peppers in the bowl with the other stuff.When it's cool, dig in with your mitts, and mick ‘em up. Mix until it feels right, you don’t want it too smooth or too chunky. You’ll know when it’s right.Take some of this delectable mixture, about the size of a golf ball, and put it in your palm, and roll it into a ball.This next step is important. Squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart.So squeeze your salmon ball in one palm, then toss it into your other palm and gently squeeze, then toss it back in the other palm and squeeze. Do this a couple times. You’ll feel like a real Italian.Do this with all the salmon stuff. I rolled 18 salmon balls.Get a large sauté pan, put it over medium-high heat.Put in 4 tablespoons of olive oil.Get a large plate, put the flour in it and spread it around.Take a salmon ball, gently roll it in the flour, shake off the excess.Do this with all your balls, and then saute IMMEDIATELY! You leave your balls sitting around, and they’ll get soggy. And nobody likes soggy balls.Put the salmon balls in the olive oil, cook until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Turn ‘em over, and cook on the other side until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Remove to a platter lined with a couple layers of paper towels.Dish it up!Serve it on one of them good-looking plates you save for Thanksgiving, add a sprig of parsley, and put a little Slim Aioli on the side, or some plain mustard or tartar sauce and…MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Macadamia and Panko Crusted Halibut

Slim Man Cooks Macadamia and Panko Crusted HalibutSome friends asked me to dogsit while they were at a wedding in Hawaii. The house was in Carslbad, and there was a fish market nearby, and they had the freshest halibut in the known universe. Every morning, the fishermen would bring it in. She was a-so nice!The fish was so fresh one of them pinched me on the buttcheek as I passed by.When my amigos got back from Hawaii, they brought some macadamia nuts. The nuts had honey on them, I mean, they were good, but maybe not good to cook with.So I got some regular, ridiculously expensive macadamia nuts at the grocery, grabbed a box of panko breadcrumbs, and went back to the house.Now, I’ve made halibut fish sticks before, they’re in the Slim Man Cooks cookbook; I made them with breadcrumbs and toasted pine nuts and dill.But I wanted to do something a little different. So I used macadamia nuts instead, and Italian flavored panko breadcrumbs. Lots of recipes call for garlic powder and onion powder, but I thought I’d give those two a break for a change.So I just added a little dried oregano and dried basil. She was a-so nice! You’ll need a total of 1 tablespoon. Instead of oregano and basil, you could use fresh rosemary chopped up, or fresh Italian flat leaf parsley chopped up, or thyme.In this recipe, THYMING is everything! You gotta dip the halibut in the egg, and then immediately press both sides in the breadcrumb/nut mix, and then sauté right away. You can’t do these in advance. Dip and fry, Slim People! INGREDIENTS1 pound skinless halibut filet, cut into rectangles, maybe 2 by 4 (inches, not feet)2 eggsSalt and pepper1 ½ cups panko breadcrumbs½ cup macadamia nuts, chop your nuts fine!1 teaspoon dried oregano1 teaspoon dried basil½ teaspoon salt½ teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper¼ cup olive oilHERE WE GO!Rinse your fish sticks off in cold water.Pat them dry with paper towels.Put ‘em on a platter.Take the eggs, break them in a bowl (I use a glass pie plate), add salt and pepper, and beat the crap out of them.Take the panko breadcrumbs, put them in a glass pie plate, or a large plate.Add the minced macadamia nuts, the oregano, the basil and the salt and pepper, and mick ‘em up!Put the olive oil in a large saute pan over medium-high heat. Toss in a couple breadcrumbs. When they start to brown, it’s time to get moving!Dip a fish stick in the egg, get it coated, let the excess drip off.Press each side into the breadcrumb/nut mix.Put it in the pan.Do this with all the fish sticks.Slim Folks…thick pieces of fish take longer to cook than thinner pieces. The objective here is to have them be golden brown on the outside, and moist and tender on the inside.Let the fish sticks cook for 2 or 3 minutes, until the underside is golden brown, and flip ‘em over!Well, don’t literally flip them over, be gentle, turn them over, let them cook on the other side for 2 or 3 minutes, until golden brown.Remove them from the pan, put them on a platter lined with a layer or two of paper towels.Dish it up! Put a piece of fish on a good-looking plate, serve with a wedge of lemon, and maybe a side dish of penne with a simple tomato sauce, and maybe some sautéed broccolini, and… MANGIAMO!