Marsala is a fortified wine from Sicily. There are two types...sweet and dry. Use sweet! Molto importante!
When you add the Marsala to the sauce, be careful. There might be some sizzling and flare-ups, so you might want to have someone you don’t like add it.
JFK. Just Effing Kidding!
Be cautious, Slim People. I need every one of ya!
I was hanging out at Mitch and Andy’s house in Carlsbad, Californee.
Andy has a garden. He’s really into it. It has raised beds, river rock pathways in between. Everything is staked and well-maintained. Groomed and trimmed.
He has all kinds of vegetables and herbs. And Fourth of July weekend, he had a little Holiday Harvest.
It didn’t require any fancy farm machinery or machetes. He just picked some fresh San Marzano plum tomatoes, some red and yellow bell peppers, some basil and parsley, and then he picked some farfalle off the pasta tree.
JFK. Just Effing Kidding. Pasta doesn’t grow on trees.
It grows on bushes!
I took Andy’s Independence Day Crop and decided to make a little summertime pasta salad.
The first time I made this salad I did not add shrimp. It was good, Slim People
But when I made it a second time, I added shrimp.
Why?
I was talking to Hit Man Howie Z, Slim Man Bongo Boy, and we were going over my new pasta salad recipe when Hit Man mentioned the bookmaker’s salad we used to get at a restaurant in Baltimore called Sabatino’s.
That salad was so good! It had shrimp in it. But it also had hard-boiled eggs and a heavy creamy dressing, which I decided to leave out of my recipe.
I had to Slimmify it! Sorry, Sab’s!
So I added shrimp to my pasta salad. I broiled them for four minutes or so and then let them cool.
I added them to the pasta salad, and I tell you Slim People, it was really good.
I would say “GREAT!!!” but I’m laying off the superlatives and the exclamation points these days.
But I loved it, and so did Andy and Mitch. And their kid, Michael. And his girlfriend, Katie.
It was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.
NOTES:
Andy has San Marzano plum tomatoes in his garden. But you can use any kind of tomatoes you want. Grape or cherry tomatoes would work well.
Just cut them in halves or quarters, squeeze the seeds out and remove the yellow core, which can be bitter
I use white balsamic vinegar. Regular balsamic tastes good, too, but it gives the salad a light brown color which I’m not crazy about.
I’ve also used honey bell orange white balsamic. Hard to find, a bit costly, but she’s a-so nice!
DRESSING INGREDIENTS
6 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons white balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice (no seeds, Meyer lemons are best)
1 teaspoon honey (or agave syrup)
THE OTHER INGREDIENTS
1 cup chopped fresh tomatoes (cut in bite-size chunks, seeds squeezed out, core removed)
1 cup diced red bell pepper
1 cup diced yellow bell pepper
1 cup Italian salami, cut in cubes
1 cup fontina cheese, cut in cubes
1 small handful of fresh Italian parsley, chopped (1/4 cup)
1 small handful fresh basil, snipped into small ribbons (1/4 cup)
½ cup fresh celery, chopped
1/3 cup seedless black olives, sliced
1/3 cup minced Spanish (purple) onion
¼ cup capers (drained)
1 (16 ounce) can chickpeas drained
Kosher salt to taste
Fresh cracked black pepper to taste
1 pound pasta (I like farfalle, shes a-so nice! Fusilli would be good, too.)
THE SHRIMP INGREDIENTS
1 pound small shrimp, deshelled and deveined
1 tablespoon olive oil
Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper to taste
HERE WE GO!
Put all the DRESSING INGREDIENTS in a glass jar and shake it, baby, shake it. Or put it on a bowl and whisk away.
Put all THE OTHER INGREDIENTS (except the pasta!) in a large bowl, big enough to hold the pasta and the vegetables.
Add half the dressing and stir gently. Gently, Slim People!
Put the shrimp in a bowl.
Add the olive oil and mix.
Sprinkle with some kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper.
Mix.
Put the shrimp on a baking pan and broil for four minutes or until pink.
When done, drain of any excess liquid and put in a bowl.
Get a large pot, fill it with cold water and put it on the highest heat ya got. This be for the pasta.
When the water comes to a full boil, add two tablespoons of kosher salt. It sounds like a lot, but it ain’t. The pasta water needs to look like the sea.
Add the pasta and cook at a full boil according to the times on the box. I like mine al dente.
Al Dente…wasn’t he a Demolition Derby driver?
When the pasta is al dente—firm to the tooth—drain it and put it in a bowl.
Add the rest of the dressing to the pasta and give it a couple of gentle stirs. Let it sit for a couple minutes.
Add the pasta to the bowl with the vegetables and stir.
Add the shrimp.
Give it a couple gentle stirs.
Taste for salt and pepper and adjust if needed.
DISH IT UP!
Put a couple scoops on one of them there fancy plates you pull out around Thanksgiving.
Most Italians don’t add cheese to a dish like this, but I know some wonderful women folk who do.
So if the lovely lady insists, maybe add a little freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano or some Locatelli Romano cheese on top, and…
MANGIAMO!!
I don’t eat a lot of red meat. But when I was living with my uncle Oscar, he’d cook the occasional lamb chop, or Osso Buco. The guy was an amazing cook. His palate was refined. His senses were keen. He once walked out of the bedroom and told me I had overcooked the fish, and damned if I hadn’t.
He was in amazing shape, physically, mentally--in every way, Unc was in great condition. He was in his 80’s. He ate meat every once in a while.So I figured, what the hell—I’ll have what he’s having.Unc used to get pissed off when he was having a dinner party and people would call in advance and give him their dietary restrictions.“I can’t eat meat, I can’t have dairy, I can’t eat tomatoes, I don’t eat shellfish…”I once had a dinner party and a gal sent me a list of 20 things she couldn’t eat. One of them was eggplant. I had already made eggplant Parmigiano. So I made a Bolognese sauce as well. Just for her. It was one of the few things she could eat.It took three hours. She never showed up. True story.These days, when I go to a dinner party, I just shut up and eat whatever they’re serving. It hasn’t killed me yet.But there’s still time…NOTES:Thicker pieces of lamb take longer, thinner pieces take less time. Also, if you want them to be rare, obviously cook them for less time. For well-cooked, cook 'em longer!
INGREDIENTS1 pound lamb chops (I had 6, each about ¾ inch thick)1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary1 clove garlic, minced (a generous teaspoon)1 teaspoon olive oil, plus 1½ tablespoons for searing1½ tablespoons butter HERE WE GO!Put the chopped rosemary and the minced garlic on a chopping boardEven though they’re already chopped, chop ‘em up together for a minutePut them in a small bowlAdd a teaspoon of olive oil, mix it up.Place the lamb chops on a large plate
Rub a little of the rosemary/garlic/olive oil mixture on top of each lamb chop—only on one side!! Spread it around evenlyAdd a little Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepperGet a large fry pan (I used a 10-inch pan)Turn the heat to highAdd the 1½ tablespoons of butter, and the remaining 1½ tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter starts to brown, add the lamb chops—spiced side down!Turn the heat down to medium-highCook for 2 or 3 minutes.Using tongs, turn em overCook for another 2 or 3 minutes until doneThat’s it!!Plate it up, make it look nice, add a sprig of rosemary, maybe a dollop of risotto, a couple baked asparagus spears, and…MANGIAMO!
My niece got married in June.My sister had five kids, all by Cesarean. They’re all pretty normal, except every time they leave the house they go out the window.My sister would be laid up after each birth, so Uncle Slimmy would babysit the newborn until my sister's stomach recovered, a couple weeks. At one point, I had a newborn, a 2-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 6-year-old and an 8-year-old.It wasn’t easy, but it was such a wonderful experience. I loved it, and I loved them. Still do!The niece who just got married...her husband...I love the guy. He’s funny and smart and cool and comes from a great family. They met in high school in Pennsylvania.The wedding was in Philly, a town I hadn’t been to in a while. Man, it has changed. I stayed at a hotel right in the heart of downtown. I took a jog/walk up to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the one where the statue of Rocky is.
Rocky. Remember that movie? Sylvester Stallone? When he was training for his big fight, he’d end his exercise routine with a jog up the museum steps as the theme song played. “Flying high now!”I jogged up those steps. And when I got to the top, I played my own theme song. “It’s All About Love!” Seemed suitable for the City of Brotherly Love, which is Philly’s nickname. I jogged back to the hotel, and right next door was one of the best urban markets I’ve ever been to.The Reading Terminal Market. They had everything. Bay scallops, sea scallops, all kinds of fresh fish, meats, produce, Philly cheesesteaks, pastries...they even had pig’s feet.
Which were pretty disgusting looking.My Mom was from down south, and they had big jars of pickled pig’s feet in this red liquid, sitting on counters at gas stations. Unrefigerated. You could stick your hand in the jar, grab a pickled pig’s foot, and start gnawing.I never ate any. I couldn’t get past the visual.The night before the wedding, they had a rehearsal dinner. There wasn’t any rehearsing, it was just a way for folks from the two families to get to know each other. It was held in an upstairs room at one of those hipster restaurants, the kind where the guys have beards and glasses with big black frames, and boots that look like the kind that soldiers wore in the Civil War.Except this was modern-day Philly.I’ll admit this, the food was good. They had a couple choices for entrees, chicken or salmon. I’ve been eating a lot of chicken lately. I’ve been eating so much chicken I’m starting to sprout wings between my shoulder blades. I’m afraid I might start spitting feathers out of my mouth.So I ordered the salmon.When they brought me the plate, the salmon looked beautiful. I took a bite, it was pretty damn good. It was resting on...what was it? It looked like some kind of couscous. I took a bite, and it was delizioso. She was a-so nice!I could tell it wasn’t couscous. I asked the waiter what it was.Fregola.What?Fregola.Which had me looking it up on my phone. I was trying to stay off the damn phone, especially at a gathering where you’re supposed to get to know people. But I had to know what fregola was.
Well, Slim People…it’s a pasta from Sardinia. Sometimes it's spelled "fregola" and sometimes "fregula." It was about the size and shape of BBs, and that night in Philly it was done in a simple sauce, as a side dish.Sardinia is a place I’ve always wanted to visit; it’s an Italian island in the Mediterranean, off the East coast of Italy. I read an article in National Geographic a few years ago; the people of Sardinia live exceptionally long lives. The National Geographic folks were trying to figure out why.Maybe it’s the fregola!It’s usually served in a simple sauce, like a tomato sauce with some pecorino-Romano cheese. It’s usually a side dish, except when they make it with clams, tiny clams from the Mediterranean.When I got back to Palm Springs, I decided to find some fregola.I couldn’t. I went to all kinds of food stores, and when I asked for fregola, people looked at me like I had two heads.What to do?I went online. I found some on Amazon, and ordered it. It was expensive, about $8 bucks a pound. Normally pasta costs a couple bucks, but this was imported from Sardinia. Shipping was $6 bucks. I decided to splurge.
It’s a durum wheat semolina pasta, which is what most Italian pastas are made from. But fregola is toasted in an oven at the end of the pasta-making process. The pasta was many shades of brown. Each little pellet was a different color...beige, tan, burnt Sienna.What the hell is burnt Sienna anyway?So I followed the instructions on the package, cooked it in salted water for about 12 minutes. Then I drained it, and added a little olive oil and butter. I made one batch with some Slim pesto and another batch with Slim’s tomato sauce.It was so good. It had a slightly nutty flavor, and I thought I tasted a mild saffron-type spice. I like trying new foods, especially Italian foods. And this was one of the best new dishes I’ve cooked in quite a while. And it was so simple.How was the wedding the next day? It was great. Yes, it rained...torrential downpours and thunder and lightning. At least it was inside. Sometimes when the weather is really crazy, it somehow makes an event seem more memorable.“Remember the wedding? It was raining cats and dogs!”Now, I’m not sure where that expression came from. But it was raining really hard.Fregola. It sounds like an Italian curse word. "Slim Man! Che fregola!"This is gonna be quick, Slim People. And easy! And delizioso.INGREDIENTSA couple tablespoons of Kosher salt1 pound fregolaA couple tablespoons of olive oilA couple tablespoons of butter, room temperature1 cup simple tomato sauce½ cup of pesto sauceFreshly grated pecorino-Romano cheeseFreshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheeseHERE WE GO!Get a large pot, fill it with fresh, cold water, and put it on the highest heat you gots.When it comes to a boil, add the Kosher salt (I use 2 generous tablespoons).Add the fregola pasta.Keep the heat up during the whole process!Stir and cook for about 12 minutes or so, until al dente—firm to the bite.Drain the fregola.Put half in one bowl, and half in another bowl.Add a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter to each bowl.Mix gently, make sure the butter has melted.Add the pesto sauce to one bowl, and the tomato sauce to the other.Mix gently.Dish it up!Put a serving of each on a plate. Add a little grated pecorino cheese to the tomato sauce fregola, and some Parmigiano to the pesto sauce fregola. 
MANGIAMO!!!
The most popular thing to eat in the USA?Well, the most popular thing to eat is a sandwich. And you can see why…a couple pieces of bread, a few slices of meat and cheese, maybe some lettuce and tomato and you’re done in 5 minutes.But the most popular food we eat here in good ol’ America?Chicken.Chicken!There’s a lot of it, it ain’t expensive, and it’s available almost everywhere. The other day I was at the grocery store and noticed a package of chicken that had “air-chilled” written on the package. It was a little more expensive than the regular chicken. What gives?Then I read an article in Cook’s Illustrated magazine. These guys and gals go way deep into food and cooking and they often get scientific and specific. They do elaborate tests. They don’t accept advertising, which is probably why the magazine costs around $300 a copy.So when they recommend something, it’s been tested and tried and fried every whichaway. And they highly recommend air-chilled chicken.So do I, Slim People. It tastes mo better. Why?Chicken needs to be chilled to be safe to eat. In Europe, they chill chickens with air. In the US, most chicken is chilled by soaking it in cold water, water that’s sometimes…chlorinated.Nice.But air-chilled chicken is cooled by purified air, the chicken moves along tracks as it gets blown with frigid air. Kinda like going up an escalator in a mall during the summer.Because the chicken is cooled by air and not in water, it cooks better, tastes better, looks better. It’s juicy, Lucy! The difference was noticeable to me, and I’m no chicken expert. Although I am considering a career move…In this recipe, I used sun-dried tomatoes packed in oil. Olive oil, preferably. Anything except motor oil.I’ve done this dish two ways, one with fresh basil, and one with thyme. If you use basil, you’ll need a small handful. You’ll need less thyme…
INGREDIENTS3 tablespoons olive oil½ cup flourSalt and fresh-cracked black pepper4 chicken cutlets (2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, sliced in half)2 tablespoons butter4 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled¼ cup dry white wine½ cup sun-dried tomatoes, cut into small piecesFresh basil (a ¼ cup, leaves snipped or torn) or fresh thyme (a big tablespoon, chopped)HERE WE GO…Put the olive oil in a sauté pan big enough to hold all 4 cutlets.Turn the heat to medium-high.Put the flour on a plate (I use a pie plate).Sprinkle in some salt and fresh-cracked black pepper, about ½ teaspoon each, and mix.Put a cutlet in the flour, dust both sides, and put it in the sauté pan.Do this with all 4 cutlets.Sprinkle a little salt and some fresh cracked black pepper on top of each cutlet, press it in!Let the cutlets cook undisturbed for 4 minutes, or until pale gold on the bottom.Flip ‘em over!Cook on the other side for 4 minutes or until pale gold.
Remove them to a plate.Turn the heat down to medium.With a wooden spoon, gently scrape off any tidbits stuck to the bottom of the pan.Add the butter.Swirl it around, let it melt.Add the garlic, and swirl it around for a minute or two.When the garlic is pale gold, add the white wine and swirl for a minute or so.Add the sun-dried tomatoes and give it a stir for a minute or two.Add the basil or the thyme and stir.Dish it up! Make it look good. Pour some sauce over the cutlets, garnish with a basil leaf or sprig of thyme, and…MANGIAMO!
I was in Carlsbad, California, and as I was driving home from a walk on the beach, I stopped at a fish store. They had some halibut that was so fresh it pinched me on the buttcheek as I walked by. The nerve! Hasn’t he been reading the papers?He should have--I think he was wrapped in one!Carlsbad must be the halibut capital of the world. They always seem to have an abundance and it ain't too expensive at all.I bought a one-pound piece, it looked wonderful and smelled like the sea. Then I went next door to the grocery store and bought some antipasti. Antipasti means “before the pasta” in Italian. It’s usually some peppers, olives, cheeses, salami, that kind of stuff. You have antipasti out on plates as your guests arrive at the trailer park.I wasn’t having anyone over for dinner, I just thought it might be nice to gnaw on an olive while I was cooking.So I bought some green and black Cerignola olives. My uncle Oscar used to buy these huge jars of Cerignola olives, and I always loved them. Then I got some red peppers. Or at least, I always thought they were red peppers.They were red, yes. And they were peppers, yes. I’ve been eating them for quite a while, and I always thought they were Italian. I was wrong. I know, hard to believe that Mr. Man could ever be wrong about anything, but it happened.I saw a little sign right above the bright red peppers, a sign that said “Peppadew.”
Peppadew? Sounds like some kinda over-caffeinated energy beverage that the kids drink these days to get all jacked up before they go to one of them damn rock music festivals.I put some in the container with the olives, and when I got back to the house where I was dog-sitting, I decided to look them up. Peppadew.Well, it turns out that these were created—actually patented—in the 1990s in South Africa. I know, it sounds like something I’d make up, but I swear it’s true!I’ve been eating these things for years and I always thought they were Eye-Tralian. But they ain’t. They’re from South Africa, which is not too far from the country that's named in my honor…SlimBobWay.Peppadew peppers are about the size of a cherry tomato; they taste a little sweet, and a little spicy, and I’ve always liked them.So I put a few Peppadews and some olives in a bowl, and put the halibut on a plate, and in a stroke of fish-making mastery, I decided to make a sauce with the antipasti.But I wanted to make sure everything would get along, that these flavors would synch up.I tasted a black Cerignola olive and it was delish, not too strong. I tasted the green Cerignola olives, and they tasted…too pungent. Kinda sour. I wasn’t digging the flavor, so I left them out.So, I had black Cerignola olives, Peppadew, and what else should I add?I rounded up the Usual Suspects—olive oil, lemon, garlic, and shallots.And the sauce? She was a-so nice!
INGREDIENTSThe Fish:1 pound skinless halibut filet2 tablespoons olive oilKosher saltBlack pepperTurbinado sugar The Sauce:2 tablespoons olive oil2 tablespoons chopped shallots2 tablespoons dry white wine1 tablespoon minced garlic2 tablespoons chopped black olives (no seeds)2 tablespoons chopped Peppadew peppers2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsleyHERE WE GO…The FishHeat a 12 inch sauté pan over medium heat.Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.As the oil heats, sprinkle a little Kosher salt, black pepper and turbinado sugar on top of each piece of fish.Place the fish—seasoned side down—in the pan, and sauté for 3 minutes. Don’t stir, don’t move.As the fish cooks, sprinkle the unseasoned top of the fish with a little Kosher salt, black pepper, and turbinado sugar.Turn the fish over, sauté on the other side for 3 minutes.Remove the fish from the pan to a nice platter.The SauceAdd 2 tablespoons of olive oil to the fish pan.Add the shallots, let them cook for a minute or two until the edges get golden.Add the white wine, stir, and let it cook off for a minute or two.Add the garlic, cook and stir for a minute or two.Add the olives and peppers, stir and cook for a couple minutes.Add the lemon juice and parsley, stir and cook for a minute or two.That’s it!Put the sauce on the fish, make it look all pretty with a garnish of fresh parsley, and…
MANGIAMO!!!
Men sometimes go a couple days without showering. If it’s a weekend, and nobody’s coming over, most men just let it go. I hate to admit this, SlimNation, but I do this maybe once a month when I’m in solitary confinement at the Fortress of Slim Solitude.Well, a couple days ago, I was tired, dead on my feet. I was starving, but I didn’t want to take a shower and go to the store; I just wanted to barricade myself in the Slim Shack and hibernate. So I took a look around to see what was available.I call this pot luck pasta. I’ve done it many times. Back when I was a starving musician, I’d take a look in the cupboard and the fridg and make a sauce of whatever I could find. Sometimes it was good. Sometimes it wasn’t.I once made a pasta sauce with Swiss cheese that was so hard to gag down that one of the guys in the band named it “Fettucine del Cemento.” Seriously.It sat in the bowl like a mound of muddy muck. It was so chewy that it could’ve pulled the fillings out of your teeth. I could have fixed the front sidewalk with it.But last night I made this pot luck pasta sauce and it was really good. You know it’s really good when you heat it up the next day and it tastes even better than the day before. And this was good, Slim People.So, taking inventory at the Slim Shack, I saw that I had some broccoli. I also had a thing of grape tomatoes. I tasted both, because if you take a taste of broccoli, for instance, and your first instinct is to spit it on the floor, you might not want to use it in your sauce.The broccoli tasted good; the grape tomatoes were some of the most delicious I’ve ever tasted. They were organic, they were not expensive, and they were so good I ate a handful right there. I just kept popping them in my tomato hole. The tomatoes were also beautiful; red, yellow, orange, green.Then, I looked in the freezer and noticed some frozen shrimp, wild. And on the refrigerator door I had about a half a glass of pinot grigio left in the bottom of a bottle, and I found a Tupperware of toasted pine nuts (pignoli) on the shelf that I had leftover from making pesto sauce.So I put them all together, and…she was a-so nice! Seriously delish and nutrish.I put it over pasta, but you can put it over bruschetta, or rice, or on a pizza. The pasta I used had a strange name that I don’t remember, it looked like penne rigate, but it had a fold running down the center. It was in a half-pound package. And it was delizioso!So, here it is. Slim’s Pot Luck Pasta without the pot. But with all the luck!Oh, and I took a shower the next day. I didn’t want you Slim People to think Uncle Slimmy had gone all raggedy on ya.
INGREDIENTS ½ pound of pasta (spaghetti or linguine work well, but use what ya gots!)Olive oil, a couple tablespoons6 large garlic cloves, smashed and peeledCrushed red pepper to taste1 cup broccoli florets (make sure the pieces are small)½ cup dry white wine¾ pound medium wild shrimp, de-shelled and de-veined2 tablespoons of butter, cut into small pieces1 cup grape tomatoes, cut in half, seeds squeezed out¼ cup toasted pine nuts (pignoli toasted in a dry pan over medium heat, shake often)OPTIONAL: freshly grated Parmigiano cheese for schprinkling, will explain later!HERE WE GO…Get a large pot, fill it full of cold water, put it on the highest heat possible. ALWAYS KEEP THE HEAT HIGH!When the water comes to a boil, add a couple tablespoons of coarse Kosher salt.Add the pasta. Stir often. As the pasta cooks, now let’s whip up the sauce…DA SAUCEGet a large saute pan, put it over medium heat, and add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.Add the garlic cloves, let them saute a couple minutes until pale gold, then turn over and do the same to the other side. DON’T BURN YOUR GARLIC. It tastes really bitter, Slim Folks.
Add the broccoli, and give it a stir. Cook for a couple minutes until the broccoli wilts, stir often.Add the white wine, turn up the heat to high, and let the wine cook off for a minute or two.Turn the heat back to medium and add the shrimp in a single layer, sprinkle with a little salt.Let the shrimp cook for 2 minutes or so, then turn them over, sprinkle a little salt on top.Add the butter, arrange the pieces between the shrimp.Let this cook for 2 minutes or so, and then add the grape tomatoes.Give it a GENTLE stir, and let the tomaters heat up for a minute or two.REMOVE FROM HEAT, SAUCE IS DONE DA DONE DONE!The pasta? Remember that?When the pasta is al dente, firm to the bite, drain it, put it in a beautiful bowl, and drizzle with a little olive oil, give it a stir or three.Add the sauce right on top of the pasta, and give it a gentle stir.Dish it up! Put a serving in one of them expensive-looking plates, sprinkle a few pine nuts on top.Some women folk I know like to put grated Parmigiano cheese on top. Most Italians don’t do this, but if the Slim Woman wants cheese, save yourself some trouble, my Man Friends, and just shut up and grate.
MANGIAMO!
I’ve promised myself to stay positive.So, instead of saying I’m sick of salmon, I’m gonna say…I’m glad I have teeth so I can eat.But I’m getting sick of salmon. That’s all the women folks want to eat these days. So…what’s a Man to do with all that leftover salmon?Make salmon balls! They’re Manly!They make a great appetizer, you can put a bunch of ‘em on a plate and call them an entrée, you can use them when you do your juggling routine, but most important…they’re really good.I made a quick aioli sauce, which sounds fancy, but ain’t; it’s quick and simple and Manly and she’s a-so nice! It’s basically mayo and mustard and garlic, and it takes 7.9 seconds to make.The toughest part of this recipe is pulling the balls off the salmon.NOTES:You’ll need to squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart when you cook ‘em.
INGREDIENTS2 cups leftover salmon filet, crumbled, any skin and bones removed1 ½ cups leftover roasted potatoes, cooked, smashed (I used red)2 eggs, beaten½ cup panko bread crumbs2 tablespoons parsley, choppedS&P1 tablespoon olive oil (to sauté the shallots and red bell pepper)2 tablespoons shallot, minced2 tablespoons red bell pepper, chopped4 tablespoons olive oil (to sauté your balls)1 cup flour (you might not need it all)This recipe yields 18 balls. At least it did for me…HERE WE GO!Put the leftover salmon, the potatoes, the eggs, the bread crumbs and the parsley in a small bowl. Mix gently.Add salt and pepper; I used a shy teaspoon of coarse Kosher salt and the same of fresh cracked black pepper. Mick ‘em up!and mix again, by hand. Be gentle!Put a tablespoon of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the shallots and red bell pepper, and cook and stir for just a couple minutes. Shake gently while cooking.Put the shallots and red bell peppers in the bowl with the other stuff.When it's cool, dig in with your mitts, and mick ‘em up. Mix until it feels right, you don’t want it too smooth or too chunky. You’ll know when it’s right.Take some of this delectable mixture, about the size of a golf ball, and put it in your palm, and roll it into a ball.This next step is important. Squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart.So squeeze your salmon ball in one palm, then toss it into your other palm and gently squeeze, then toss it back in the other palm and squeeze. Do this a couple times. You’ll feel like a real Italian.
Do this with all the salmon stuff. I rolled 18 salmon balls.Get a large sauté pan, put it over medium-high heat.Put in 4 tablespoons of olive oil.Get a large plate, put the flour in it and spread it around.Take a salmon ball, gently roll it in the flour, shake off the excess.Do this with all your balls, and then saute IMMEDIATELY! You leave your balls sitting around, and they’ll get soggy. And nobody likes soggy balls.Put the salmon balls in the olive oil, cook until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Turn ‘em over, and cook on the other side until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Remove to a platter lined with a couple layers of paper towels.Dish it up!Serve it on one of them good-looking plates you save for Thanksgiving, add a sprig of parsley, and put a little Slim Aioli on the side, or some plain mustard or tartar sauce and…
MANGIAMO!
