[et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text"]I spent a week at my brother’s house outside of Sedona, Arizona. He lives on a mesa with an incredible view of the red rocks in the distance.I like to test out new recipes on my brother and his wife. They have good health and life insurance, so I feel a bit more comfortable coming up with new recipes to try out on them.
One night I tried a recipe for ciambotta, an Italian ratatouille with eggplant, tomatoes, bell peppers and zucchini. It didn’t turn out so good. It tasted like something dug up from a compost heap and was about as colorful as a puddle of mud.I was gonna put it on some toasted Italian bread. Except my brother doesn’t eat bread. Well, he eats that Ezekiel bread which tastes like a piece of drywall. When he and his wife got home from work, they tasted the ciambotta.After I saw the look on their faces, I offered to buy Chinese carryout.But that would have required going into town, and they were tired, so I made some chicken saltimbocca, a recipe I had come up with a couple months ago.Since the ciambotta was off the menu, I wanted a vegetable to go along with the saltimbocca. I had some asparagus and some prosciutto, so I decided to make a little side dish.I snapped off the ends of the asparagus and put them in a baking dish. I added some olive oil and some fresh cracked black pepper.I baked the asparagus for about 10 minutes and pulled them out of the oven. I let them cool for a minute and then wrapped 5 or 6 stalks in a thin slice of prosciutto. I did this with all the asparagus and put the bundles underneath the broiler for 2 minutes or so until the prosciutto got crisp.Wow, she was a-so nice!NOTES:Here’s the thick and thin...Thinner asparagus tastes better. Thick asparagus is tough! If you can only find thick asparagus, use a vegetable peeler to peel the outer skin off the stalks.Thicker asparagus takes longer to bake.The thinner the prosciutto, the better. You only need to wrap the prosciutto around the asparagus once.And don’t salt the asparagus! There’s enough salt already in the prosciutto.And finally, don’t bake the asparagus all the way. When you broil them with the prosciutto, they’ll finish cooking.
INGREDIENTS1 pound of asparagus, bottom stalks snapped off1 tablespoon olive oilFresh cracked black pepper½ pound prosciutto, sliced thin HERE WE GO!Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.Put the asparagus in a baking dish.Add the olive oil and mix ‘em up.Add some fresh cracked black pepper, mix ‘em up again.Put the asparagus in the oven for about 10 minutes until almost done.Take them out of the oven and let them cool for a minute.Set the oven to broil.Take 5 or 6 stalks, place them on the edge of a piece of prosciutto and roll ‘em up.Do this with all the asparagus.Place the asparagus on a baking sheet and place them under the broiler for two minutes or so.Keep your eyes on these guys! Don’t burn your meat!When the prosciutto starts to brown, remove and put the asparagus bundles on a plate and...MANGIAMO![/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Slim Man Cooks Bay Scallops with Garlic, Butter, Lemon and Basil
Wow. That’s a long title. But when I tried to trim it down, I felt bad about whoever I was leaving out!I’ve been on a scallop kick lately. One of the reasons is...they are delizioso. I do love the flavor, texture, smell...I guess what I’m saying is...I’m a big scallop fan.But the main reason for the recent consummation of scallops is...
They’re on sale at a local grocery called Sprouts. Eight bucks for a one-pound bag of frozen, wild-caught bay scallops from the Gulf of Mexico. Eight bucks! And they really are stinkin’ good.So I’ve been buying a couple bags at a time, I keep them in the freezer for emergencies, in case there’s an earthquake or if I bang my head on the goat shed and need an ice-pack.Bay scallops are the small ones. Sea scallops are the big ones, the ridiculously expensive ones. I don’t know why sea scallops have almost doubled in price lately. Maybe there’s a scallop divers strike that I’m not aware of. Maybe scallops just aren’t having as many children as before.Regardless, sea scallops are costly. But bay scallops ain’t. And I’m really digging the bay scallops, I love the way they taste, they’re wild-caught, they don’t cost a ton of dough, and they’re easy and quick.What’s not to love?
The other night here at the Slim Shack I wanted some pasta. I’ve been getting these cravings. Maybe I’m pregnant. But I’ve been craving pasta lately, so I pulled out a bag of scallops.I had a basil plant in back of the Shack, it’s been doing pretty well despite it being 189 degrees outside. Palm Springs gets hot in the summer. It was so hot the other day here at the Slim Shack that when I milked the goats all that came out was evaporated milk.I usually keep garlic and lemons and white wine handy. And I had some spaghetti, too. And I had some butter, some real good Irish butter that I had splurged on last week.So I thought I’d whip up a quick little something. I put it all together, and it was good, Slim Folks.It was so good I made it again just a few nights later. Just to be sure.And?It’s well-worthy of Slim People.NOTES:The scallops threw off a bit of liquid. It didn’t bother me, it actually made the sauce taste better. It reduced quite nicely! And the flavor, she was a-so nice!Bay scallops are small and don’t take much time at all. Try and get them to sear on each side. It’s tough, but you can do it, Slim People!I put this over pasta. Call me crazy, but I’m a glutton for gluten!But you can serve it as is with some crusty bread to your crusty friends and family. Or you can serve it over rice. Put it on bruschetta, or a pizza, or your pancakes in the morning!INGREDIENTS1 pound bay scallopsFresh cracked black pepper, brown or Turbinado sugar, and salt, a sprinkling of each3 tablespoons butter1 tablespoon olive oil5 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled½ cup dry white wineJuice from one lemon (2 tablespoons, NO SEEDS!)Small handful fresh basil leaves HERE WE GO!Put a sauté pan over medium-high heat.Add 1 tablespoon of butter, and 1 tablespoon of olive oil.When the butter has melted and starts to brown, add the scallops.Cook for 90 seconds or until the bottoms are golden.Stir/flip as best you can!
Cook on the other side for 90 seconds or until golden.Remove with a slotted spoon to a platter.Reduce the heat to medium.Add the garlic, cook for a minute or two, until golden.Flip, cook for another minute or two, until golden.Add the wine and the lemon juice.Turn the heat to high, scrape and stir for a minute or so as the sauce reduces.Turn heat down to medium.Add 2 tablespoons of butter.When it melts, add the scallops.Take the basil, snip it with scissors on top of the scallops.Stir gently for a minute.Turn off the heat.She’s a-done!I put my scallop sauce over pasta, I cooked a half-pound of spaghetti in salted boiling water, drained it, and added it right to the sauce and gave it a toss.She’s a-so nice!MANGIAMO!!!
Slim Man Cooks Lamb Chops with Rosemary and Garlic
I don’t eat a lot of red meat. But when I was living with my uncle Oscar, he’d cook the occasional lamb chop, or Osso Buco. The guy was an amazing cook. His palate was refined. His senses were keen. He once walked out of the bedroom and told me I had overcooked the fish, and damned if I hadn’t.
He was in amazing shape, physically, mentally--in every way, Unc was in great condition. He was in his 80’s. He ate meat every once in a while.So I figured, what the hell—I’ll have what he’s having.Unc used to get pissed off when he was having a dinner party and people would call in advance and give him their dietary restrictions.“I can’t eat meat, I can’t have dairy, I can’t eat tomatoes, I don’t eat shellfish…”I once had a dinner party and a gal sent me a list of 20 things she couldn’t eat. One of them was eggplant. I had already made eggplant Parmigiano. So I made a Bolognese sauce as well. Just for her. It was one of the few things she could eat.It took three hours. She never showed up. True story.These days, when I go to a dinner party, I just shut up and eat whatever they’re serving. It hasn’t killed me yet.But there’s still time…NOTES:Thicker pieces of lamb take longer, thinner pieces take less time. Also, if you want them to be rare, obviously cook them for less time. For well-cooked, cook 'em longer!
INGREDIENTS1 pound lamb chops (I had 6, each about ¾ inch thick)1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary1 clove garlic, minced (a generous teaspoon)1 teaspoon olive oil, plus 1½ tablespoons for searing1½ tablespoons butter HERE WE GO!Put the chopped rosemary and the minced garlic on a chopping boardEven though they’re already chopped, chop ‘em up together for a minutePut them in a small bowlAdd a teaspoon of olive oil, mix it up.Place the lamb chops on a large plate
Rub a little of the rosemary/garlic/olive oil mixture on top of each lamb chop—only on one side!! Spread it around evenlyAdd a little Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepperGet a large fry pan (I used a 10-inch pan)Turn the heat to highAdd the 1½ tablespoons of butter, and the remaining 1½ tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter starts to brown, add the lamb chops—spiced side down!Turn the heat down to medium-highCook for 2 or 3 minutes.Using tongs, turn em overCook for another 2 or 3 minutes until doneThat’s it!!Plate it up, make it look nice, add a sprig of rosemary, maybe a dollop of risotto, a couple baked asparagus spears, and…MANGIAMO!
Slim Man Cooks Risotto with Shrimp, Pancetta, and Asparagus
The first editor I hired for the Slim Man Cooks cookbook took out a lot of the jokes.I started one story/recipe with one of my favorites...Why don’t cannibals eat divorced people?Because they’re bitter.
The editor took it out because she thought it might be offensive to divorced people. I thought it was funny.In another section, she took out one of the instructions for a chicken recipe. I had written...Dust your breasts with flour. Do the same with the chicken breasts.I thought it was funny, she thought it might be offensive to women. I was gonna point out to her that both women and men have breasts, but I didn’t. I went through the whole cookbook and put the jokes back in. And then I found a new editor.The second editor was a little better. For instance, in an asparagus recipe, I wrote...Why does asparagus make your pee-pee smell funny?She pointed out the "pee-pee" was an anatomical term, and that I should use the word “pee” instead. Well, it was a small improvement, but an improvement nonetheless.When I was coming up with this risotto recipe, I decided to use asparagus. I went to the grocery store, the asparagus was fresh, looked wonderful, and was on sale. I bought some, and used it in this dish.Risotto. It’s a dish that needs attention! You need to stand over this dish until it’s done. So, when you have guests over that you are not crazy about and want to hide in the kitchen? This is the dish to make!Keep in mind, the key to cooking risotto is to add a ladle of broth, and stir gently until it’s absorbed. Keep adding ladles and stirring until absorbed. It usually takes about 20 or 25 minutes. It should take about 4 minutes or so for each ladle to be absorbed. If it takes longer, turn the heat up a touch; if it takes less time, turn it down.When the rice is al dente, firm to the bite, she’s-a done!NOTES:I used chicken stock, you can use seafood or vegetable stock. INGREDIENTSSaffron (some threads, not too much, it’s EXPENSIVE)5 cups broth (chicken, vegetable, or seafood—I used chicken)¼ pound pancetta, cubed (diced)2 tablespoons olive oil½ cup dry white wine1 pound shrimp, deveined and deshelled (save the shells) and chopped into smaller pieces1 ½ cups asparagus (tips and about 1 or 2 inches down the stalks, chopped)2 tablespoons butter1 cup minced onion1 ½ cups Arborio rice½ cup fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (OPTIONAL)HERE WE GO...
Put the saffron threads in one cup of warm chicken broth. Mix and let sit.Put the remaining 4 cups of broth in a small sauce pan over low heat.Add the shrimp shells to the broth, stir.Put a large, heavy-bottomed sauce pan over medium heat for 2 minutes.Add the pancetta, cook until brown, about 6 minutes, stir occaisonally.
Remove with a slotted spoon.Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.Add ¼ cup of the white wine.Add the shrimp, cook until pink, about 3 minutes; remove.Add the asparagus, and a little salt, cook for 3 or 4 minutes until tender; remove.Add 2 tablespoons butter.
Add the onion, stir and cook for 5 minutes.Add the rice, stir gently and cook for 3 minutes.Add the remaining ¼ cup of white wine, stir and cook 2 minutes.Turn the heat down under the rice.Remove the shrimp shells from the broth.Add a ladle of stock (no shells!) and stir until absorbed (about 3-5 minutes).Add another ladle of stock (no shells!) and stir until absorbed (about 3-5 minutes).Add the cup of stock with the saffron, stir until absorbed.Add some salt, stir.Add another ladle of stock (no shells!) and stir until absorbed (about 3-5 minutes).Add one more ladle, and stir until absorbed.At this point the rice should be done, al dente, firm to the tooth.If it’s not, add another ladle, or a little warm water if you’ve run out of broth; stir until absorbed and the rice is done.Add the shrimp, the asparagus and the pancetta, and stir gently.OPTIONAL: add ½ cup of fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, stir gently.
Dish it up!MANGIAMO!
Slim Man Cooks Risotto with Hot Italian Turkey Sausage
Any recipe that has the words “Hot Italian” in its title has to be good!I love risotto. I do. But it’s a pain in the ass. It needs constant attention. It’s not like sticking a turkey in the oven. You can’t set it and forget it. No. Risotto needs to be mollycoddled!
A few things...I used hot Italian turkey sausage. Why? Because lots of women folk are staying away from red meat these days. Diets are becoming so restrictive that pretty soon we’ll be eating a piece of organic lettuce and a carrot for dinner.I don’t eat a lot of red meat, anyway. When I do, I eat the worst kind, like prosciutto, pancetta, salami, or sausage. How do you say “nitrites” in Italian?For this risotto, I used a package of Jennie-Os hot Italian turkey sausage, 1 ¼ pounds. I don’t get any money from Jennie O, but if she offers, I’m taking.The key to risotto is the stir. You need to add a ladle of broth, and stir it often until the broth gets absorbed. And then you add another ladle and stir. You keep it up until the risotto is al dente, firm, but not too!Legend has it that it takes 18 minutes from the first ladle until doneness. But it usually takes a little longer for me.NOTES:You need to monitor the heat under the risotto. It needs to be low enough so that the risotto doesn’t burn, but not too low that the broth doesn’t get absorbed. It usually takes about 5 minutes for a ladle to be absorbed. Medium-low is a good place to start.You might not use all the broth. And then again, you might need more. If you need more, add a little warm water, or extra broth if you have it. I always keep stock in the fridg.
INGREDIENTS1 ¼ pounds hot turkey sausage2 tablespoons olive oil½ teaspoon Kosher salt4 cups chicken broth2 tablespoon butter1 cup minced onion1 ½ cups Arborio rice½ cup dry white wine½ cup fresh chopped Italian parsley¾ cup fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (½ cup for the risotto, ¼ cup for shprinkling)½ lemon (I used a Meyer lemon, or you can use a soft, ripe lemon) HERE WE GO...Take the sausage out of the casings.Put a 12” sauté pan over medium heat.Add 2 tablespoons olive oil, let it heat for a minute or two.Add the sausage meat, break up with a wood spoon.Sauté for 10 minutes, keep breaking up the sausage meat. Breaking up is hard to do!Make sure the sausage is crumbled into small pieces, and make sure it’s done!When it’s done, remove from heat.Pour the stock into a small saucepan over low heat.Put a large sauce pan with a heavy bottom over medium-low heat.Add butter.When the butter melts, add the onion, stir often with wood spoon for about 6 minutes.Add rice, and stir.Cook for 7 minutes, stir, stir, stir!Add the wine.Stir for a minute or two.Add a ladle of broth, stir often until absorbed, about 5 minutes.Add another ladle, stir until absorbed.Keep adding a ladle and stirring until absorbed, until the rice is firm.
Add salt every so often until it tastes right!This might take 20 minutes or so of ladling and stirring.You might not need all the broth.If you run out of broth and the rice is still not done, add a ladle of warm water, or more broth if you have it.When the rice is done, turn off the heat.Add the cooked sausage and stir gently.Add the parsley and stir.Add a ½ cup of the Parmigiano and stir.Squeeze a half lemon (no seeds!) into the rice and stir.Dish it up!Add a little Parmigiano on top, if you like.Italians usually don’t add grated cheese on top, but if the Little Woman wants cheese, shut up and grate! Don’t create more problems than necessary!Garnish with a sprig of parsley, and...MANGIAMO!
Slim Man Cooks Red Wine Sauce for Fish, Chicken, Whatever…
I'd made a red wine sauce before, but it wasn’t where I wanted it to be. The sauce was a little bland, and a little thin. I kept on making batches of red wine sauce, and none was good enough for you, my Slim People.It was bugging me. It was keeping me up at night. And then, around dawn, it dawned on me.I added a little tomato paste to the sauce to thicken it up and give it a little zing. Then I added a little dried oregano to give it some zip. Zip! Zing! It turned out great.Oregano is the only herb that I prefer dried. Basil? I rarely use dried basil, it is nowhere near as good as fresh. Rosemary? Same thing. Oregano? I like the dried oregano more than the fresh. It tastes mo’ better to me. But what do I know?A few things before we get started…I put this sauce over ahi tuna steaks. The tuna steaks I used were about an inch and a half thick. Over medium-high heat, I cooked them for 90 seconds per side. They turned out great—the pepper/salt/sugar that I had sprinkled on top gave them a nice sear, and they were a beautiful pink on the inside.You can also use this sauce over grilled chicken, steak au poivre, or use it as a hair gel or massage oil. She's a-so nice!Also, when you light your cognac on fire, be careful. Yes, the subsequent explosion of flame looks so cool and very dramatic, but have the fire department on the line in one hand, and a garden hose in the other.Also, right before you light the cognac, if there are people around that you don’t like, gather them close to the flame. Or better yet—have them light the cognac. Stand behind them.Here we go…INGREDIENTS2 ahi tuna steaks, about a half pound (8 ounces) each4 tablespoons butter4 tablespoons olive oilFresh ground black pepperKosher salt (I use it for taste, not for religious reasons, Shalom!)Brown sugar or raw/turbinado sugar (I sometimes use plain sugar in a pinch)2 ounces of cognac2 tablespoons chopped shallots1 tablespoon chopped garlic½ cup red wine½ cup stock (I used beef)½ teaspoon dried oregano2 tablespoons tomato paste 
The sauce:In a small pan over medium heat, add 2 tablespoons of butter, and 2 tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter melts…Add the 2 tablespoons of chopped shallots, and the tablespoon garlicCook about 2 minutes, stir a few timesAdd the 2 ounces of cognacStand back, Jack, and set it on fire with one of those long-ass lightersWhen the cognac burns off…Add the 1/2 cup red wine, and the1/2 cup beef stockTurn the heat on medium-high and reduce for about 5 minutesAdd the oregano, stirAdd tomato paste, stir in for a minute or soRemove from heatLet's cook some fish:Rinse and pat dry the ahi tuna steaksAdd some fresh cracked black pepper, some kosher salt and a sprinkle of turibinado/brown sugar on top of each steakGet a fry pan, put it over medium-high heatAdd 2 tabespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oilWhen the butter starts to smoke, add the tuna, peppered side downLightly salt and pepper and sugar the non-spiced sideAfter 90 seconds, turn overCook for another minute and a halfPlate it upPut some greens on a plate, place the tuna on top, drizzle just a little red wine sauce over each piece, and… 
MANGIAMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slim Man Cooks Pesto Chicken Thighs
I love thighs. Let’s face it people, thighs are lovely. Whether you’re talking about a piece of chicken, or the female anatomy, thighs are the best.They’re soft. Kinda sexy. Juicy.Chicken breasts? They tend to dry out when you’re cooking them. They’re really good for some things, like cutlets and Milanese and chicken piccata, but in general, I prefer chicken thighs.I also love pesto. I got a little sick of it when my dad--we called him Paps--made so much pesto we were using it on our cornflakes in the morning. But after I got over my overdose of pesto, I started really enjoying it.Pesto is so good for so many things. You can put it on a piece of salmon, you can put a dollop in soup, you can put a tablespoon or two in an omelette. You can use it as a hair gel! Pesto is the best-o.So, I thought I would combine my two loves, pesto and chicken thighs, so I came up with…Pesto chicken thighs! I put the “J” back in genius with this recipe.Some say a thigh is just a thigh, but these pesto chicken thighs are special, delizioso. And quick. And healthy.So let’s dig right in and start cooking. You know, Slim People, sometimes cooking doesn’t have to be all complicated and time-consuming.Sometimes it’s easy. Like this recipe…INGREDIENTS4 chicken thighs, boneless, about a poundOlive oil (a couple tablespoons or so)Salt and fresh-cracked black pepper4 tablespoons of pesto sauce (I make my own, it’s in the Slim Man Cooks cookbook, it’s quick!)
A couple tablespoons of toasted pine nuts (toasted in a dry pan, medium heat, until golden)Here we go!OK, pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees.Take your thighs and rinse them in cold water. Do the same with the chicken thighs. Notice the difference.Pat the chicken thighs with paper towels.Trim off any funkiness, any fat, any leftover bone splinters and such.Put the chicken thighs in a baking dish.Drizzle with some olive oil.Make sure they’re all coated, rub your thighs!Add some salt and fresh-cracked black pepper.Make sure every thigh gets some love.Put the top side of the thighs on the bottom of the baking dish.Put the thighs in the oven for 20 minutes.Take them out, turn them over, and bake for another 10 minutes.When the thighs have come to about 165 degrees (I use a meat thermometer, not the one I use for the dogs) they are done.Take them out of the oven, and turn the oven to broil.Smear about a tablespoon of pesto on top of each chicken thigh. Be smoov!Put them under the broiler for about a minute or two, until the pesto is golden brown.Take them out of the oven, sprinkle with some toasted pine nuts.Put them on a platter, garnish with a sprig of basil, serve with a hunk of crusty bread, or my tomato salad, or both, and…
MANGIAMO!
Slim Man Cooks Pasta Carbonara
Pasta CarbonaraYou can only eat pasta carbonara a couple times a year. Any more than that and you’ll have to walk around with a defibrillator duct-taped to your chest. It’s a heart-stoppin’, artery-poppin’ dish that might kill ya.It’s one of my favorites.This is my own version. I added white wine, which gives it a little kick. But if you’re having it for breakfast—it is after all eggs and bacon—you might want to leave out the wine. You might…I don’t.I use Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, most recipes call for Romano, which I find a little too salty for this. You got enough sodium in the pancetta to float a boat, so I use Parmigiano, which is a little sweeter.The name comes from the Italian word for coal, carbona. Legend has it that coal miners would put a couple eggs, a piece of pancetta (Italian bacon) and a hunk of cheese in their pockets, and make this on their lunch break, all in one pot.Putting eggs in your pocket doesn’t sound like a good idea to me, but what the hell do I know? 
INGREDIENTS:3 eggs1 cup fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese2 tablespoons fresh Italian flat leaf parsley, choppedFresh cracked black pepper8 ounces pancetta, diced into tiny pieces4 cloves of garlic, peeled, and smashed/flattened with the broad side of a knife¼ cup white wine1 pound of spaghetti We’ll do this all in real time. Here goes:Get a large pot. Fill it with cold water. Put it on the highest heat you got. As it heats up…Get a large bowl, one big enough to hold all the pasta and stuff.Break three eggs into the bowl. Add the cheese. Add the chopped parsley. Add some fresh cracked black pepper. Hold off on the salt for now—the pancetta can be a bit salty, so you don’t really need any extra.Beat all this stuff with a fork. Now let’s cook our pancetta.Pancetta is Italian bacon. So treat it like bacon. Don’t be flippin’ it all around. You want it to brown on each side. So let it brown!Get a small fry pan. Put it over medium heat. Put the diced pancetta in. Let it brown for about 3 to 5 minutes.Flip it over, give it a stir, let it brown on the other side, 3 to 5 minutes.When the pancetta is done, use a slotted spoon get it out of the pan. Put it in the bowl with the eggs and stuff. Give it a stir.You should have some pancetta drippings in the bottom of the pan. Get rid of most of the drippings. You want to leave a little in the bottom of the pan, just enough to fry the garlic.Put the pan on medium-low heat.Add the garlic, cook for a couple minutes on each side until golden.Turn up the heat to high. Add the wine; let it cook off for a minute or so. Turn off the heat.Back to the pasta…when the pasta water comes to a boil, add a couple tablespoons of kosher salt. Add the pasta.When the pasta is al dente, drain it well.IMMEDIATELY toss the pasta into the bowl with the eggs. Add the pancetta and garlic, straight from the pan. Toss gently for a minute or two. You want the heat from the pasta and the pancetta to cook the eggs.When it all looks right, plate it up. Garnish with a piece of parsley, and…MANGIAMO!!!!!