Slim Man Cooks Shrimp with Marsala and Porcini Sauce

Marsala is a fortified wine from Sicily. There are two types...sweet and dry. Use sweet! Molto importante!

When you add the Marsala to the sauce, be careful. There might be some sizzling and flare-ups, so you might want to have someone you don’t like add it. 

JFK. Just Effing Kidding!

Be cautious, Slim People. I need every one of ya!

INGREDIENTS

1 cup dried porcini mushrooms

2 cups water

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

¼ cup chopped shallots

5 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled

2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary

1 cup sweet Marsala

2 pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 pound of pasta (I use spaghetti)

1 tablespoon of olive oil, 1 tablespoon of butter…for the cooked pasta!

Salt and fresh-cracked black pepper

HERE WE GO!

 Put the porcini mushrooms in the water and let them soak for 30 minutes to an hour.

Take the mushrooms out of the water with a slotted spoon and put them in a bowl.

 Strain the water (I use a colander lined with a paper towel) into a bowl.

 Save that water!

 Chop the poricinis into small pieces.

 Give ‘em a quick rinse.

 Put a medium sauté pan over medium-high heat for 2 minutes.

 Add two tablespoons of butter.

Add two tablespoons olive oil.

 Swirl and stir.

 When the butter starts to bubble, add the shallots.

 Cook until the edges start to turn golden brown.

 Add the garlic and cook on each side for a minute or two.

 Add the Marsala. BE CAREFUL! There’s gonna be some sizzlin’!

 Cook and swirl for a minute or two.

 Add 1 cup of the porcini water.

 Turn the heat to high until it starts to boil.

 Add the rosemary and stir.

 Reduce the heat to a simmer and let it cook down.

 Put the shrimp in a large bowl.

 Add a tablespoon or so of olive oil.

 Add salt and pepper. Fresh-cracked is best!

 Mix ‘em up!

 Line a baking sheet with foil.

 Lay the shrimp in a single layer on the baking sheet.

 Put a large pot of fresh cold water on the highest heat ya got. This be for the pasta.

 When it comes to a full boil, add a couple tablespoons of salt.

 Add the pasta and cook according to the directions.

 When the pasta is five minutes from being done, turn your broiler to high and put in the shrimp.

 Cook for 5 minutes, no need to turn ‘em!

 Pull out the shrimp and put them in the porcini/Marsala sauce and give a couple stirs.

 Add salt and pepper if desired.

 Drain the pasta and put it in a bowl.

 Drizzle with a tablespoon of olive oil and add a tablespoon of butter.

 Stir.

 Take some of the Marsala sauce and add it to the pasta.

 Stir it a couple times.

 DISH IT UP!

 Put some pasta on a plate.

 Spoon some sauce over top.

 Make sure to add some shrimp!

 And maybe garnish with a sprig of fresh rosemary.

 Make sure it looks good.

 Because the most important thing in life is to look good.

 And eat good! And write good!

 Add some freshly-grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese if you like and…

 MANGIAMO!

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Slim Man Cooks Pasta Salad with Shrimp

I was hanging out at Mitch and Andy’s house in Carlsbad, Californee.

Andy has a garden. He’s really into it. It has raised beds, river rock pathways in between. Everything is staked and well-maintained. Groomed and trimmed.

He has all kinds of vegetables and herbs. And Fourth of July weekend, he had a little Holiday Harvest.

It didn’t require any fancy farm machinery or machetes. He just picked some fresh San Marzano plum tomatoes, some red and yellow bell peppers, some basil and parsley, and then he picked some farfalle off the pasta tree.

JFK. Just Effing Kidding. Pasta doesn’t grow on trees.

It grows on bushes!

I took Andy’s Independence Day Crop and decided to make a little summertime pasta salad.

The first time I made this salad I did not add shrimp. It was good, Slim People

But when I made it a second time, I added shrimp. 

Why?

I was talking to Hit Man Howie Z, Slim Man Bongo Boy, and we were going over my new pasta salad recipe when Hit Man mentioned the bookmaker’s salad we used to get at a restaurant in Baltimore called Sabatino’s. 

That salad was so good! It had shrimp in it.  But it also had hard-boiled eggs and a heavy creamy dressing, which I decided to leave out of my recipe.

I had to Slimmify it! Sorry, Sab’s!

So I added shrimp to my pasta salad. I broiled them for four minutes or so and then let them cool.

I added them to the pasta salad, and I tell you Slim People, it was really good. 

I would say “GREAT!!!” but I’m laying off the superlatives and the exclamation points these days.

But I loved it, and so did Andy and Mitch. And their kid, Michael. And his girlfriend, Katie. 

It was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.

NOTES:

Andy has San Marzano plum tomatoes in his garden. But you can use any kind of tomatoes you want. Grape or cherry tomatoes would work well.

Just cut them in halves or quarters, squeeze the seeds out and remove the yellow core, which can be bitter

I use white balsamic vinegar. Regular balsamic tastes good, too, but it gives the salad a light brown color which I’m not crazy about. 

I’ve also used honey bell orange white balsamic. Hard to find, a bit costly, but she’s a-so nice!

DRESSING INGREDIENTS

6 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons white balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice (no seeds, Meyer lemons are best)

1 teaspoon honey (or agave syrup)

THE OTHER INGREDIENTS

1 cup chopped fresh tomatoes (cut in bite-size chunks, seeds squeezed out, core removed)

1 cup diced red bell pepper

1 cup diced yellow bell pepper

1 cup Italian salami, cut in cubes

1 cup fontina cheese, cut in cubes

1 small handful of fresh Italian parsley, chopped (1/4 cup)

1 small handful fresh basil, snipped into small ribbons (1/4 cup)

½ cup fresh celery, chopped 

1/3 cup seedless black olives, sliced

1/3 cup minced Spanish (purple) onion

¼ cup capers (drained)

1 (16 ounce) can chickpeas drained

Kosher salt to taste

Fresh cracked black pepper to taste

1 pound pasta (I like farfalle, shes a-so nice! Fusilli would be good, too.)

THE SHRIMP INGREDIENTS

1 pound small shrimp, deshelled and deveined

1 tablespoon olive oil

Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper to taste

HERE WE GO!

Put all the DRESSING INGREDIENTS in a glass jar and shake it, baby, shake it. Or put it on a bowl and whisk away.

Put all THE OTHER INGREDIENTS (except the pasta!) in a large bowl, big enough to hold the pasta and the vegetables.

Add half the dressing and stir gently. Gently, Slim People!

Put the shrimp in a bowl.

Add the olive oil and mix.

Sprinkle with some kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper.

Mix.

Put the shrimp on a baking pan and broil for four minutes or until pink.

When done, drain of any excess liquid and put in a bowl.

Get a large pot, fill it with cold water and put it on the highest heat ya got. This be for the pasta.

When the water comes to a full boil, add two tablespoons of kosher salt. It sounds like a lot, but it ain’t. The pasta water needs to look like the sea.

Add the pasta and cook at a full boil according to the times on the box. I like mine al dente.

Al Dente…wasn’t he a Demolition Derby driver?

When the pasta is al dente—firm to the tooth—drain it and put it in a bowl.

Add the rest of the dressing to the pasta and give it a couple of gentle stirs. Let it sit for a couple minutes.

Add the pasta to the bowl with the vegetables and stir.

Add the shrimp.

Give it a couple gentle stirs.

Taste for salt and pepper and adjust if needed.

DISH IT UP!

Put a couple scoops on one of them there fancy plates you pull out around Thanksgiving.

Most Italians don’t add cheese to a dish like this, but I know some wonderful women folk who do. 

So if the lovely lady insists, maybe add a little freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano or some Locatelli Romano cheese on top, and…

MANGIAMO!!

Slim Man Cooks Risotto with Shrimp, Pancetta, and Asparagus

The first editor I hired for the Slim Man Cooks cookbook took out a lot of the jokes.I started one story/recipe with one of my favorites...Why don’t cannibals eat divorced people?Because they’re bitter.The editor took it out because she thought it might be offensive to divorced people. I thought it was funny.In another section, she took out one of the instructions for a chicken recipe. I had written...Dust your breasts with flour. Do the same with the chicken breasts.I thought it was funny, she thought it might be offensive to women. I was gonna point out to her that both women and men have breasts, but I didn’t. I went through the whole cookbook and put the jokes back in. And then I found a new editor.The second editor was a little better. For instance, in an asparagus recipe, I wrote...Why does asparagus make your pee-pee smell funny?She pointed out the "pee-pee" was an anatomical term, and that I should use the word “pee” instead. Well, it was a small improvement, but an improvement nonetheless.When I was coming up with this risotto recipe, I decided to use asparagus. I went to the grocery store, the asparagus was fresh, looked wonderful, and was on sale. I bought some, and used it in this dish.Risotto. It’s a dish that needs attention! You need to stand over this dish until it’s done. So, when you have guests over that you are not crazy about and want to hide in the kitchen? This is the dish to make!Keep in mind, the key to cooking risotto is to add a ladle of broth, and stir gently until it’s absorbed. Keep adding ladles and stirring until absorbed. It usually takes about 20 or 25 minutes. It should take about 4 minutes or so for each ladle to be absorbed. If it takes longer, turn the heat up a touch; if it takes less time, turn it down.When the rice is al dente, firm to the bite, she’s-a done!NOTES:I used chicken stock, you can use seafood or vegetable stock. INGREDIENTSSaffron (some threads, not too much, it’s EXPENSIVE)5 cups broth (chicken, vegetable, or seafood—I used chicken)¼ pound pancetta, cubed (diced)2 tablespoons olive oil½ cup dry white wine1 pound shrimp, deveined and deshelled (save the shells) and chopped into smaller pieces1 ½ cups asparagus (tips and about 1 or 2 inches down the stalks, chopped)2 tablespoons butter1 cup minced onion1 ½ cups Arborio rice½ cup fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (OPTIONAL)HERE WE GO...Put the saffron threads in one cup of warm chicken broth. Mix and let sit.Put the remaining 4 cups of broth in a small sauce pan over low heat.Add the shrimp shells to the broth, stir.Put a large, heavy-bottomed sauce pan over medium heat for 2 minutes.Add the pancetta, cook until brown, about 6 minutes, stir occaisonally.Remove with a slotted spoon.Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.Add ¼ cup of the white wine.Add the shrimp, cook until pink, about 3 minutes; remove.Add the asparagus, and a little salt, cook for 3 or 4 minutes until tender; remove.Add 2 tablespoons butter.Add the onion, stir and cook for 5 minutes.Add the rice, stir gently and cook for 3 minutes.Add the remaining ¼ cup of white wine, stir and cook 2 minutes.Turn the heat down under the rice.Remove the shrimp shells from the broth.Add a ladle of stock (no shells!) and stir until absorbed (about 3-5 minutes).Add another ladle of stock (no shells!) and stir until absorbed (about 3-5 minutes).Add the cup of stock with the saffron, stir until absorbed.Add some salt, stir.Add another ladle of stock (no shells!) and stir until absorbed (about 3-5 minutes).Add one more ladle, and stir until absorbed.At this point the rice should be done, al dente, firm to the tooth.If it’s not, add another ladle, or a little warm water if you’ve run out of broth; stir until absorbed and the rice is done.Add the shrimp, the asparagus and the pancetta, and stir gently.OPTIONAL: add ½ cup of fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, stir gently.Dish it up!MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Baked Tomatoes with Parmigiano and Panko

So there I was. Staring at two very ripe tomatoes.I don’t normally stare at produce, but these things needed to be eaten. And soon.I didn’t want to eat the same old shit, Caprese salad, or my Mom’s tomato salad, no disrespect to my Mom or Capri!I just wanted something different. Then I thought of making baked tomatoes, but they seemed so...Antiquated. Out of style. Not in vogue.Which is why they appealed to me. I looked up recipes, but nothing was clicking; they were all missing something.Know what they were missing?Slimness.I wanted to make a stuffing with stuff I like. So I made a mixture of panko and Parmigiano and parsley and garlic, along with some dried oregano. Why dried oregano?I like the taste better. Especially in Italian-American dishes, although I’m pretty sure this dish is more American than Italian.Until now!I added a little olive oil to keep it together and moist.I scooped the seeds out of the tomatoes. I’m not a big fan of tomato seeds, especially in fresh tomatoes. I cut out the top tab/button of both tomatoes first. Then I cut them in half, horizontally. Then I scooped seeds.I mixed up the stuffing, stuffed it in the tomatoes, and baked them for 20 minutes at 450 degrees.Wow. They were real good. I mean...real good. I’m staying away from the hyperbole these days. Leaving myself a little headroom. But these were...delizioso. And quick. And easy.INGREDIENTS¼ cup panko breadcrumbs¼ cup fresh grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese1 teaspoon minced garlic1 teaspoon dried oregano1 tablespoon chopped fresh Italian parsleyKosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper1 generous tablespoon olive oil2 ripe tomatoes, top buttons cut out, cut in half horizontally, seeds scooped outHERE WE GO...Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.Put all the ingredients except the tomatoes in a small bowl.Mix with a fork.Put the 4 tomato halves in a small baking dish.Drizzle a little olive oil over each, add a little Kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper to each.Add equal amounts of the panko mixture to each tomato. Fill the tomato holes. Put the extra on top. Be judicious. Be equitable.Put the dish in the oven for 20 minutes. Keep an eye on these maters.When the tops are golden brown, take the dish out of the oven.Let it sit for 5 minutes.Dish ‘em up! Make ‘em look nice, add a sprig of fresh parsley, and...MANGIAMO!!!! 

Slim Man Cooks Fregola

My niece got married in June.My sister had five kids, all by Cesarean. They’re all pretty normal, except every time they leave the house they go out the window.My sister would be laid up after each birth, so Uncle Slimmy would babysit the newborn until my sister's stomach recovered, a couple weeks. At one point, I had a newborn, a 2-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 6-year-old and an 8-year-old.It wasn’t easy, but it was such a wonderful experience. I loved it, and I loved them. Still do!The niece who just got married...her husband...I love the guy. He’s funny and smart and cool and comes from a great family. They met in high school in Pennsylvania.The wedding was in Philly, a town I hadn’t been to in a while. Man, it has changed. I stayed at a hotel right in the heart of downtown. I took a jog/walk up to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the one where the statue of Rocky is.Rocky. Remember that movie? Sylvester Stallone? When he was training for his big fight, he’d end his exercise routine with a jog up the museum steps as the theme song played. “Flying high now!”I jogged up those steps. And when I got to the top, I played my own theme song. “It’s All About Love!” Seemed suitable for the City of Brotherly Love, which is Philly’s nickname. I jogged back to the hotel, and right next door was one of the best urban markets I’ve ever been to.The Reading Terminal Market. They had everything. Bay scallops, sea scallops, all kinds of fresh fish, meats, produce, Philly cheesesteaks, pastries...they even had pig’s feet.Which were pretty disgusting looking.My Mom was from down south, and they had big jars of pickled pig’s feet in this red liquid, sitting on counters at gas stations. Unrefigerated. You could stick your hand in the jar, grab a pickled pig’s foot, and start gnawing.I never ate any. I couldn’t get past the visual.The night before the wedding, they had a rehearsal dinner. There wasn’t any rehearsing, it was just a way for folks from the two families to get to know each other. It was held in an upstairs room at one of those hipster restaurants, the kind where the guys have beards and glasses with big black frames, and boots that look like the kind that soldiers wore in the Civil War.Except this was modern-day Philly.I’ll admit this, the food was good. They had a couple choices for entrees, chicken or salmon. I’ve been eating a lot of chicken lately. I’ve been eating so much chicken I’m starting to sprout wings between my shoulder blades. I’m afraid I might start spitting feathers out of my mouth.So I ordered the salmon.When they brought me the plate, the salmon looked beautiful. I took a bite, it was pretty damn good. It was resting on...what was it? It looked like some kind of couscous. I took a bite, and it was delizioso. She was a-so nice!I could tell it wasn’t couscous. I asked the waiter what it was.Fregola.What?Fregola.Which had me looking it up on my phone. I was trying to stay off the damn phone, especially at a gathering where you’re supposed to get to know people. But I had to know what fregola was.Well, Slim People…it’s a pasta from Sardinia. Sometimes it's spelled "fregola" and sometimes "fregula." It was about the size and shape of BBs, and that night in Philly it was done in a simple sauce, as a side dish.Sardinia is a place I’ve always wanted to visit; it’s an Italian island in the Mediterranean, off the East coast of Italy. I read an article in National Geographic a few years ago; the people of Sardinia live exceptionally long lives. The National Geographic folks were trying to figure out why.Maybe it’s the fregola!It’s usually served in a simple sauce, like a tomato sauce with some pecorino-Romano cheese. It’s usually a side dish, except when they make it with clams, tiny clams from the Mediterranean.When I got back to Palm Springs, I decided to find some fregola.I couldn’t. I went to all kinds of food stores, and when I asked for fregola, people looked at me like I had two heads.What to do?I went online. I found some on Amazon, and ordered it. It was expensive, about $8 bucks a pound. Normally pasta costs a couple bucks, but this was imported from Sardinia. Shipping was $6 bucks. I decided to splurge.It’s a durum wheat semolina pasta, which is what most Italian pastas are made from. But fregola is toasted in an oven at the end of the pasta-making process. The pasta was many shades of brown. Each little pellet was a different color...beige, tan, burnt Sienna.What the hell is burnt Sienna anyway?So I followed the instructions on the package, cooked it in salted water for about 12 minutes. Then I drained it, and added a little olive oil and butter. I made one batch with some Slim pesto and another batch with Slim’s tomato sauce.It was so good. It had a slightly nutty flavor, and I thought I tasted a mild saffron-type spice. I like trying new foods, especially Italian foods. And this was one of the best new dishes I’ve cooked in quite a while. And it was so simple.How was the wedding the next day? It was great. Yes, it rained...torrential downpours and thunder and lightning. At least it was inside. Sometimes when the weather is really crazy, it somehow makes an event seem more memorable.“Remember the wedding? It was raining cats and dogs!”Now, I’m not sure where that expression came from. But it was raining really hard.Fregola. It sounds like an Italian curse word. "Slim Man! Che fregola!"This is gonna be quick, Slim People. And easy! And delizioso.INGREDIENTSA couple tablespoons of Kosher salt1 pound fregolaA couple tablespoons of olive oilA couple tablespoons of butter, room temperature1 cup simple tomato sauce½ cup of pesto sauceFreshly grated pecorino-Romano cheeseFreshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheeseHERE WE GO!Get a large pot, fill it with fresh, cold water, and put it on the highest heat you gots.When it comes to a boil, add the Kosher salt (I use 2 generous tablespoons).Add the fregola pasta.Keep the heat up during the whole process!Stir and cook for about 12 minutes or so, until al dente—firm to the bite.Drain the fregola.Put half in one bowl, and half in another bowl.Add a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter to each bowl.Mix gently, make sure the butter has melted.Add the pesto sauce to one bowl, and the tomato sauce to the other.Mix gently.Dish it up!Put a serving of each on a plate. Add a little grated pecorino cheese to the tomato sauce fregola, and some Parmigiano to the pesto sauce fregola. MANGIAMO!!!

Slim Man Cooks Primavera Sauce

Cooking these days can be a pain in the ass.I’ll tell you why…This weekend, there were some folks visiting the Slim Shack. People came in from around the globe to pay respects to my friend, Abe, who passed away recently.He was a colonel in the Army, and one of the good guys. He was well-read, kept himself in great shape, was thoughtful and generous and kind and strong and had a sense of humor, too. Plus, he was a sharp-dressed man.I cooked many dinners for Abe. He ate everything, and when I say everything, I mean he didn’t turn vegan or vegetarian or paleo or Mediterranean, Abe ate a balanced diet. Reasonable. Moderate.And he passed away at the age of 97 recently. Not from something I cooked, promise!He lived a very healthy life right up until his last days. And he ate whatever he wanted. But that was then. And this is now…And now folks have all kinds of dietary restrictions. Here is what I was up against this weekend. Seriously.This one doesn’t eat meat. That one doesn’t eat onions. This one is a vegetarian but can’t eat tomatoes. The other one can’t eat pasta. Another one doesn’t eat anything fried or even sautéed. This one is completely vegan, and…What the hell was I supposed to cook?Well, I made one of the best dishes ever. Seriously. All these restrictions forced me to come up with something I never would have made. Sure, in the beginning I felt like smacking each numbskull upside the head with a wooden spoon, but after…Wowoweewow. I’m telling you, it was so good and so healthy.And I’m gonna show you how to make this primavera dish.Primavera in Italian means spring. So, the point to this dish is to find all the fresh—not frozen—and colorful spring vegetables you can, and make a dish of pasta with them.I went to the local grocery, and picked out the most gorgeous vegetables I could find. And there were plenty. Here in California, all the produce looks so beautiful and tastes like it hasn’t been sitting on a truck for a month.Because it hasn’t.Never in my life have I seen so many fresh and beautiful and scrump-diddly-umptious vegetables. And not to mention Gilroy, the Garlic Capital of the World, is not far away!So I found some magnificent vegetables, and then I roasted them, that’s right, roasted them in a pan. Because this one doesn’t like fried or sautéed.And then I put them over pasta. Well, I made one batch with real pasta, and the other one with some quinoa-edamame-tofu-Styrofoam-type fake pasta.I wasn’t jumping for joy when I tasted the fake pasta.But when I put this primavera sauce over farfalle? It was one of the best-tasting dishes I’ve made in a while.  All because of those knuckleheads!So, in life, when confronted with knuckleheads, know that they are there to improve you. They are like sandpaper that smooths out your rough edges. When you have a bunch of knuckleheads over for dinner, and they have a bunch of dietary demands, cook this.This dish is simple. And quick. And easy. And inexpensive. And ridiculously healthy.NOTES: I put the chopped, slivered, sliced vegetables in two baking pans. After I sliced and diced and smashed and chopped, I divided up the vegetables equally…half the carrots in one pan, half in the other, and so on, with all the vegetables.The carrots need to be sliced thinner than the other vegetables. They cook quicker that way, and will be done when the rest of the other vegetables are.I used a whole garlic bulb. There were about 10 cloves inside, I smashed each one, peeled off the paper, and put 5 in each pan. The roasted garlic was delizioso.I have two racks in the Slim Oven.I put one pan on the lower rack, and one on the rack above it.After 20 minutes, the lower pan was perfection, so I took it out of the oven. But the upper one needed a little more time.So I put the upper pan on the lower rack for 5 or 10 minutes, and wow, it was done to perfectly perfect doneness.I put the grape tomatoes in at the end. For two reasons…One is that they really don’t need to cook/roast. They just get all mushy.The second reason is…that one couldn’t eat tomatoes. Or didn’t like them. Whatever, I left them out of her dish, and put them in after I served her.Cazzo!INGREDIENTS1 yellow bell pepper, de-seeded, and sliced into thin pieces1 red bell pepper, same way4 carrots, sliced into matchstick-size slivers1 zucchini, sliced the same way, but thicker1 yellow squash, sliced the same as the zucchini1 generous cup asparagus tips2 shallots, slivered10 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled1 cup grape or cherry tomatoes, halved, seeds squeezed out1/3 cup of fresh snipped basil leaves1 tablespoon of chopped fresh oregano1 tablespoon of chopped fresh thymeOlive oil1 pound of farfalle pastaKosher salt and fresh ground pepper Here we go!Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.Divide all the vegetables in half (except for the tomatoes) and put half on each baking tray.Drizzle with olive oil and mix.Add Kosher salt, and fresh ground pepper to taste, and mix.Put the trays in the oven for 10 minutes.Then take them out, and give ‘em a stir, stir, stir.Bake for another 10 minutes.When the carrots are done, take the trays out of the oven.You can put this over pasta, or quinoa, or rice, or hedge-clippings.I used farfalle pasta, 1 pound.I put it in rapidly boiling water (I added a couple of tablespoons of Kosher salt first) and cooked it until al dente.Al Dente! Wasn’t he a pitcher for the Yankees?Drain the pasta and put in a bowl.Give a little drizzle of olive oil and stir.Add the vegetables to the bowl, stir gently.Add the tomatoes and the herbs, and mix gently. Gently, Slim boys and girls!Dish it up on a nice plate, maybe garnish with a sprig of oregano or thyme, and sprinkle with some freshly grated parmigiano cheese (unless you're vegan, or dairy intolerant, or whatever) and…MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks Halibut with Peppadew, Olives, and Garlic

My Dad—I called him Paps—used to say my music was like ginger ale.“It’s not for everybody.”I get it, I understood what he was saying. You’ve got Coke. You’ve got Pepsi. They’re the Big Two, people drink billions of bottles a day. Both are extremely popular.And then you have ginger ale. That’s me.This recipe is like ginger ale, it’s really good and a nice change of pace, but it might not be for everybody. That’s OK. I love it. It’s unique.I was in Carlsbad, California, and as I was driving home from a walk on the beach, I stopped at a fish store. They had some halibut that was so fresh it pinched me on the buttcheek as I walked by. The nerve! Hasn’t he been reading the papers?He should have--I think he was wrapped in one!Carlsbad must be the halibut capital of the world. They always seem to have an abundance and it ain't too expensive at all.I bought a one-pound piece, it looked wonderful and smelled like the sea. Then I went next door to the grocery store and bought some antipasti. Antipasti means “before the pasta” in Italian. It’s usually some peppers, olives, cheeses, salami, that kind of stuff. You have antipasti out on plates as your guests arrive at the trailer park.I wasn’t having anyone over for dinner, I just thought it might be nice to gnaw on an olive while I was cooking.So I bought some green and black Cerignola olives. My uncle Oscar used to buy these huge jars of Cerignola olives, and I always loved them. Then I got some red peppers. Or at least, I always thought they were red peppers.They were red, yes. And they were peppers, yes. I’ve been eating them for quite a while, and I always thought they were Italian. I was wrong. I know, hard to believe that Mr. Man could ever be wrong about anything, but it happened.I saw a little sign right above the bright red peppers, a sign that said “Peppadew.”Peppadew? Sounds like some kinda over-caffeinated energy beverage that the kids drink these days to get all jacked up before they go to one of them damn rock music festivals.I put some in the container with the olives, and when I got back to the house where I was dog-sitting, I decided to look them up. Peppadew.Well, it turns out that these were created—actually patented—in the 1990s in South Africa. I know, it sounds like something I’d make up, but I swear it’s true!I’ve been eating these things for years and I always thought they were Eye-Tralian. But they ain’t. They’re from South Africa, which is not too far from the country that's named in my honor…SlimBobWay.Peppadew peppers are about the size of a cherry tomato; they taste a little sweet, and a little spicy, and I’ve always liked them.So I put a few Peppadews and some olives in a bowl, and put the halibut on a plate, and in a stroke of fish-making mastery, I decided to make a sauce with the antipasti.But I wanted to make sure everything would get along, that these flavors would synch up.I tasted a black Cerignola olive and it was delish, not too strong. I tasted the green Cerignola olives, and they tasted…too pungent. Kinda sour. I wasn’t digging the flavor, so I left them out.So, I had black Cerignola olives, Peppadew, and what else should I add?I rounded up the Usual Suspects—olive oil, lemon, garlic, and shallots.And the sauce? She was a-so nice!INGREDIENTSThe Fish:1 pound skinless halibut filet2 tablespoons olive oilKosher saltBlack pepperTurbinado sugar The Sauce:2 tablespoons olive oil2 tablespoons chopped shallots2 tablespoons dry white wine1 tablespoon minced garlic2 tablespoons chopped black olives (no seeds)2 tablespoons chopped Peppadew peppers2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsleyHERE WE GO…The FishHeat a 12 inch sauté pan over medium heat.Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil.As the oil heats, sprinkle a little Kosher salt, black pepper and turbinado sugar on top of each piece of fish.Place the fish—seasoned side down—in the pan, and sauté for 3 minutes. Don’t stir, don’t move.As the fish cooks, sprinkle the unseasoned top of the fish with a little Kosher salt, black pepper, and turbinado sugar.Turn the fish over, sauté on the other side for 3 minutes.Remove the fish from the pan to a nice platter.The SauceAdd 2 tablespoons of olive oil to the fish pan.Add the shallots, let them cook for a minute or two until the edges get golden.Add the white wine, stir, and let it cook off for a minute or two.Add the garlic, cook and stir for a minute or two.Add the olives and peppers, stir and cook for a couple minutes.Add the lemon juice and parsley, stir and cook for a minute or two.That’s it!Put the sauce on the fish, make it look all pretty with a garnish of fresh parsley, and…MANGIAMO!!!

 

 

Slim Man Cooks Slim's Manly Balls of Salmon

I’ve promised myself to stay positive.So, instead of saying I’m sick of salmon, I’m gonna say…I’m glad I have teeth so I can eat.But I’m getting sick of salmon. That’s all the women folks want to eat these days. So…what’s a Man to do with all that leftover salmon?Make salmon balls! They’re Manly!They make a great appetizer, you can put a bunch of ‘em on a plate and call them an entrée, you can use them when you do your juggling routine, but most important…they’re really good.I made a quick aioli sauce, which sounds fancy, but ain’t; it’s quick and simple and Manly and she’s a-so nice! It’s basically mayo and mustard and garlic, and it takes 7.9 seconds to make.The toughest part of this recipe is pulling the balls off the salmon.NOTES:You’ll need to squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart when you cook ‘em.INGREDIENTS2 cups leftover salmon filet, crumbled, any skin and bones removed1 ½ cups leftover roasted potatoes, cooked, smashed (I used red)2 eggs, beaten½ cup panko bread crumbs2 tablespoons parsley, choppedS&P1 tablespoon olive oil (to sauté the shallots and red bell pepper)2 tablespoons shallot, minced2 tablespoons red bell pepper, chopped4 tablespoons olive oil (to sauté your balls)1 cup flour (you might not need it all)This recipe yields 18 balls. At least it did for me…HERE WE GO!Put the leftover salmon, the potatoes, the eggs, the bread crumbs and the parsley in a small bowl. Mix gently.Add salt and pepper; I used a shy teaspoon of coarse Kosher salt and the same of fresh cracked black pepper. Mick ‘em up!and mix again, by hand. Be gentle!Put a tablespoon of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the shallots and red bell pepper, and cook and stir for just a couple minutes. Shake gently while cooking.Put the shallots and red bell peppers in the bowl with the other stuff.When it's cool, dig in with your mitts, and mick ‘em up. Mix until it feels right, you don’t want it too smooth or too chunky. You’ll know when it’s right.Take some of this delectable mixture, about the size of a golf ball, and put it in your palm, and roll it into a ball.This next step is important. Squeeze your balls gently. There are little pockets of air, and by gently squeezing your balls, they’ll be tighter, and they won’t fall apart.So squeeze your salmon ball in one palm, then toss it into your other palm and gently squeeze, then toss it back in the other palm and squeeze. Do this a couple times. You’ll feel like a real Italian.Do this with all the salmon stuff. I rolled 18 salmon balls.Get a large sauté pan, put it over medium-high heat.Put in 4 tablespoons of olive oil.Get a large plate, put the flour in it and spread it around.Take a salmon ball, gently roll it in the flour, shake off the excess.Do this with all your balls, and then saute IMMEDIATELY! You leave your balls sitting around, and they’ll get soggy. And nobody likes soggy balls.Put the salmon balls in the olive oil, cook until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Turn ‘em over, and cook on the other side until golden, about 2 or 3 minutes.Remove to a platter lined with a couple layers of paper towels.Dish it up!Serve it on one of them good-looking plates you save for Thanksgiving, add a sprig of parsley, and put a little Slim Aioli on the side, or some plain mustard or tartar sauce and…MANGIAMO!