Cooking these days can be a pain in the ass.I’ll tell you why…This weekend, there were some folks visiting the Slim Shack. People came in from around the globe to pay respects to my friend, Abe, who passed away recently.He was a colonel in the Army, and one of the good guys. He was well-read, kept himself in great shape, was thoughtful and generous and kind and strong and had a sense of humor, too. Plus, he was a sharp-dressed man.I cooked many dinners for Abe. He ate everything, and when I say everything, I mean he didn’t turn vegan or vegetarian or paleo or Mediterranean, Abe ate a balanced diet. Reasonable. Moderate.And he passed away at the age of 97 recently. Not from something I cooked, promise!He live
d a very healthy life right up until his last days. And he ate whatever he wanted. But that was then. And this is now…And now folks have all kinds of dietary restrictions. Here is what I was up against this weekend. Seriously.This one doesn’t eat meat. That one doesn’t eat onions. This one is a vegetarian but can’t eat tomatoes. The other one can’t eat pasta. Another one doesn’t eat anything fried or even sautéed. This one is completely vegan, and…What the hell was I supposed to cook?Well, I made one of the best dishes ever. Seriously. All these restrictions forced me to come up with something I never would have made. Sure, in the beginning I felt like smacking each numbskull upside the head with a wooden spoon, but after…Wowoweewow. I’m telling you, it was so good and so healthy.And I’m gonna show you how to make this primavera dish.Primavera in Italian means spring. So, the point to this dish is to find all the fresh—not frozen—and colorful spring vegetables you can, and make a dish of pasta with them.I went to the local grocery, and picked out the most gorgeous vegetables I could find. And there were plenty. Here in California, all the produce looks so beautiful and tastes like it hasn’t been sitting on a truck for a month.Because it hasn’t.Never in my life have I seen so many fresh and beautiful and scrump-diddly-umptious vegetables. And not to mention Gilroy, the Garlic Capital of the World, is not far away!So I found some magnificent vegetables, and then I roasted them, that’s right, roasted them in a pan. Because this one doesn’t like fried or sautéed.And then I put them over pasta. Well, I made one batch with real pasta, and the other one with some quinoa-edamame-tofu-Styrofoam-type fake pasta.I wasn’t jumping for joy when I tasted the fake pasta.But when I put this primavera sauce over farfalle? It was one of the best-tasting dishes I’ve made in a while. All because of those knuckleheads!So, in life, when confronted with knuckleheads, know that they are there to improve you. They are like sandpaper that smooths out your rough edges. When you have a bunch of knuckleheads over for dinner, and they have a bunch of dietary demands, cook this.This dish is simple. And quick. And easy. And inexpensive. And ridiculously healthy.NOTES: 
I put the chopped, slivered, sliced vegetables in two baking pans. After I sliced and diced and smashed and chopped, I divided up the vegetables equally…half the carrots in one pan, half in the other, and so on, with all the vegetables.The carrots need to be sliced thinner than the other vegetables. They cook quicker that way, and will be done when the rest of the other vegetables are.I used a whole garlic bulb. There were about 10 cloves inside, I smashed each one, peeled off the paper, and put 5 in each pan. The roasted garlic was delizioso.I have two racks in the Slim Oven.I put one pan on the lower rack, and one on the rack above it.After 20 minutes, the lower pan was perfection, so I took it out of the oven. But the upper one needed a little more time.So I put the upper pan on the lower rack for 5 or 10 minutes, and wow, it was done to perfectly perfect doneness.I put the grape tomatoes in at the end. For two reasons…One is that they really don’t need to cook/roast. They just get all mushy.The second reason is…that one couldn’t eat tomatoes. Or didn’t like them. Whatever, I left them out of her dish, and put them in after I served her.Cazzo!INGREDIENTS1 yellow bell pepper, de-seeded, and sliced into thin pieces1 red bell pepper, same way4 carrots, sliced into matchstick-size slivers1 zucchini, sliced the same way, but thicker1 yellow squash, sliced the same as the zucchini1 generous cup asparagus tips2 shallots, slivered10 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled1 cup grape or cherry tomatoes, halved, seeds squeezed out1/3 cup of fresh snipped basil leaves1 tablespoon of chopped fresh oregano1 tablespoon of chopped fresh thymeOlive oil1 pound of farfalle pastaKosher salt and fresh ground pepper Here we go!Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.Divide all the vegetables in half (except for the tomatoes) and put half on each baking tray.Drizzle with olive oil and mix.Add Kosher salt, and fresh ground pepper to taste, and mix.Put the trays in the oven for 10 minutes.Then take them out, and give ‘em a stir, stir, stir.Bake for another 10 minutes.When the carrots are done, take the trays out of the oven.
You can put this over pasta, or quinoa, or rice, or hedge-clippings.I used farfalle pasta, 1 pound.I put it in rapidly boiling water (I added a couple of tablespoons of Kosher salt first) and cooked it until al dente.Al Dente! Wasn’t he a pitcher for the Yankees?Drain the pasta and put in a bowl.Give a little drizzle of olive oil and stir.Add the vegetables to the bowl, stir gently.Add the tomatoes and the herbs, and mix gently. Gently, Slim boys and girls!Dish it up on a nice plate, maybe garnish with a sprig of oregano or thyme, and sprinkle with some freshly grated parmigiano cheese (unless you're vegan, or dairy intolerant, or whatever) and…MANGIAMO!
Slim Man Cooks Broccoli and Peppers
[et_pb_section admin_label="section"][et_pb_row admin_label="row"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid"]Broccoli and PeppersMy Dad didn’t like vegetables. I’d try to get him to eat a salad and he’d say, “I’m 86-years-old! I’ve made it this far without eating that shit, and I ain’t startin’ now!”He wasn’t a warm and fuzzy guy. He’d give it to you straight, right between the eyes. But when I put this sauce over pasta, he liked it, even though it’s vegan. If I had told him it was vegan, he would have dope-slapped me on the back of the head.This sauce is easy, quick, and delizioso. You can serve it as an appetizer with crusty bread, put it over rice or pizza, or make it with pasta, like I did for my grumpy pops.INGREDIENTS4 tablespoons olive oil6 cloves of garlic, sliced thin, about 2 tablespoonsCrushed red pepper (I start with a ¼ teaspoon)¼ dry white wine (be generous, Slim People!)1 orange bell pepper, seeds and stems removed, chopped1 red bell pepper the same way1 yellow bell pepper the same way4 cups broccoli florets¾ cup vegetable broth (or chicken broth)HERE WE GO!Get a large sauté pan, put it over medium heat.Add the olive oil, garlic, and crushed red pepper, and cook for a few minutes until the garlic is pale gold.Add the white wine, turn up the heat, cook for a minute or two.Reduce the heat to medium.Add the bell peppers, cook for 5 minutes, or until semi-soft. Stir a couple times.Add the broccoli.Add the vegetable broth, turn the heat to high until it starts to bubble.Turn the heat back down to medium.Cook for 5 or 6 minutes, or until the broccoli is done to your liking.Taste for salt and pepper and adjust. MANGIAMO!!![/et_pb_text][et_pb_video admin_label="Video" src="https://youtu.be/oeqprO0zpzw" /][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
Slim Man Cooks Italian (Lacinato) Kale with Shallots, Port and Cranberries
We left Ellicott City, Maryland, in an Isuzu Rodeo, a small SUV. It was me, drummer John E Coale, and keyboardist Rick O’Rick, AKA “Cowboy Pickles.”All three of us, our luggage and all the gear—drums, keyboards, bass amp, CDs—were crammed into the car. It was tight. You had to allow an extra 50 yards when you hit the brakes, otherwise a snare drum might smack you in the back of your cranium.It was our first Slim Man tour – the year was 1995.Our first gig was in Cleveland, Ohio. Hello, Cleveland! It was a club called Peabody’s Down Under. Why Down Under? Because we played in the basement. It was just us down there, us and the bathrooms. People stood around a circular balcony on the first floor, and looked down at us, playing in the basement. We had to look up to see the crowd.Crowd? There were about 25 people there, and after the show, a large and lovely woman came up to me and said,“You’re like Fabio…but you can sing!”We packed up the Rodeo after the show that night and drove all the way to San Francisco--2,500 miles. It took us a couple days. We pulled up to the Great American Music Hall for sound check. I walked up to the front door, and there was a line around the block. I asked some guy waiting in line who the line was for. He said,“Slim Man.”Wow. I looked at the line and thought…all these people are coming to see me? It didn’t make me nervous — quite the opposite. I couldn’t wait to play. I was pumped up. Let me in, coach!I’m rarely nervous on stage. I’m nervous the other 23 hours of the day.We played that night to hundreds of people — it was crazy. We signed autographs afterward for what seemed like hours, and sold a ton of CDs. I hate to admit it, but it felt pretty damn good. It was OK wallowing in obscurity for all those years. But not as nice as wallowing in a brief moment of minor celebrity.We had a sax player sit in with us in San Francisco that night. We had never played with him before. We didn’t even rehearse. We didn’t have time. He showed up at soundcheck, we introduced ourselves and then did the show.But that’s the way we rolled on that first tour. We traveled as a trio. We had to – we couldn’t fit anybody else in the car! We would pick up a soloist whenever we got to town — a sax player, trumpeter, anybody. And the sax guy in San Francisco that night at the Great American Music Hall was pretty good.The next night we played in San Jose at the Ajax Lounge and everyone in the audience bought a CD. Of course, there were only six people there. Really. That was it. I remember counting them - it didn’t take long. It didn’t bother me. I was just glad to be out playing and touring.
Next it was off to Monterey. We played outside on a deck, overlooking the bay. A guy named Roger Eddy played sax — like most of the soloists who joined us on the road, it was the first time we’d ever met him. The place was small, but packed.We left Monterey and headed south. As we were driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, Rick O’Rick suddenly got violently ill. Disgusting stuff was coming out of every hole in his body. I resisted the urge to throw him out of the car at 80 MPH.We eventually made it to Viejas, a brand new Indian Casino outside of San Diego. It was so new - they were still hammering nails into the floor as we were loading in. Literally.The concert hall must have held at least a thousand people. It was beautiful – a gorgeous stage, with a big red velvet curtain, a brand new PA, and new lights. The only problem was, Rick was so sick, we had to stay with him backstage all day, right up until showtime.We had a percussionist sitting in named Michael Kelleher. We had not met Michael until that night, and I’m sure he was a bit apprehensive when he saw Rick O’Rick looking like The Alien might burst out of his chest at any second. When showtime came around, we got Cowboy Pickles propped up behind his keyboards.We all waited quietly behind the red curtain.They announced our name over the PA — “Ladies and Gentlemen, Slim Man!” The curtains slowly parted, and…There were two people there. In a place that held a thousand. There was the promo gal from the local radio station, Janet. And there was a guy standing at the bar. That was about it. Seriously. But we played our hearts out —we always do, I’m proud to say. Both people loved the show, or at least they pretended to.After the show, the guy at the bar introduced himself. Art Good. He asked us to play the Catalina Jazz Festival. That was one good thing that happened that night.The other good thing was Rick O’Rick was feeling better. Thank God, because we had to drive all the way to Kansas City the next day. Fifteen hundred miles. We made it in two days. We’re going to Kansas City. Kansas City here we come!The show was at a place called America’s Pub. We drove up, unloaded the Rodeo, did our soundcheck and went to the hotel room to shower and shave our backs.When we walked into America’s Pub in KCMO that night, the applause was deafening. It was packed to the rafters. Sold-out. Standing room only. SRO! It was one of the most amazing responses we’ve ever had. The crowd was screaming.I couldn’t tell exactly what it was they were screaming, but it seemed positive. We had a sax guy sit in that night, and of course, we had never heard him play before. He was really good, brought some of that saucy Kansas City style to the Slim Men.It was the loudest crowd I’d ever heard in my life. The whole band was on cloud nine.The next day, we drove to St. Louis—the last gig of the first Slim Tour. We pulled up to a place called Brown’s Pub and an old white guy came up to us. I have nothing against old white guys. Some of my best friends are old white guys.This old white guy was dressed like he was getting ready to play golf - with the Three Stooges in 1955. Knickers, crazy hat, bright colors and patterns. I kinda dug it. It was certainly colorful. He said,“My name is Chops. I’ll be your trombone player tonight.”
OK, Chops! We walked inside the club. The place only held about 75 people. A gorgeous gal introduced us to the crowd. She was a DJ from the St. Louis station, KNJZ, that was playing our music. The response from the crowd was like the applause you hear at a golf course. Polite.Right before we started I leaned over to Chops and said,“I’ll cue you for your solos. Don’t play over the vocals.”John E Coale counted off the first song - and Chops played non-stop from beginning to end. His trombone playing was like Dixieland meets Bugs Bunny meets Ringling Brothers. Chops could play, the only problem was…he never stopped playing. We finished the song, and the crowd was giving us funny looks. I leaned over to Chops and whispered,“Chops! Don’t play while I’m singing!”John E counted in the second song. Chops started playing from the first beat and didn’t stop until the end of the song — the man didn’t take a breath. The crowd was looking at their watches. They were checking the exits. Even though we’d only been playing about 10 minutes, I told the crowd we were taking a break.I walked the band outside, and told Chops that it wasn’t working out, paid him in full, and he left. We went back in and continued as a trio. As we were playing, I spotted a guy in the back of the pub with a trumpet case slung over his shoulder. I called out to him, over the PA,“Hey! Can you play that thing?”The crowd turned around and looked at the guy. He came up and played. He was really good, had a Latin style that really fit well. I really liked his playing. And so did the crowd. The rest of the night was really cool, and that trumpeter really blew, so to speak.I’ve always loved the trumpet. It was my first instrument. Louis Armstrong was the reason I fell in love with music. And that trumpet player in St. Louis on the last stop of the first Slim Man Tour sounded really good. We ended the tour on a high note, so to speak.The next morning, John E, Cowboy Pickles and I packed up the Rodeo, and drove the 800 miles back to Baltimore.The trumpet player from St. Louis sent me a message on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. It was the first time I’d heard from him in 18 years. Alex Galvez is his name. He’s still playin’. So am I.
Italian Kale with Shallot, Port and CranberriesWhen I’m out on tour, and there’s a lot of road ahead of me, I’ll get a bag of sunflower seeds in the shell and eat ‘em and drive. One time, on the way back from a Slim Show in Santa Rosa, California, I stopped at a roadside fruit and nuts stand. I was thinking I might run into some of my nutty and fruity relatives there.One time, on the way back from a Slim Show in Santa Rosa, California, I stopped at a roadside fruit and nuts stand. I was thinking I might run into some of my nutty and fruity relatives there.The Slim Family wasn’t there, but there were bags of salted, roasted sunflower seeds, without the shell. I bought one. They were delish. I saved some…I’ve been noticing a lot of Italian kale in the grocery stores these days, and not just the ridiculously expensive Whole Foods-type stores. Most normal grocery stores have Italian kale, it’s called lacinato kale, most of it is organic and it’s ridiculously inexpensive.How inexpensive? A buck a bunch at my local grocer. One dollar! I bought some and took it back to Slim’s Shady Trailer Park in Palm Springs, California.Kale is so good for you. The only problem is it tastes like old hedge-clippings.I cooked it in some olive oil and garlic, just to see what it tasted like. It was not as bitter as normal kale, but it needed a little something. I tried cooking the lacinato kale different ways. With tomatoes. With red bell peppers. With white wine. Nothing was working.One night I decided to cook it with some port wine. Why? It was all I had! I took a sip, the port tasted great, so I added a 1/4 cup to the kale. The sweetness of the port cut the bitterness of the kale.It needed a little saltiness, so I added some sunflower seeds from the roadside stand. I added some dried cranberries, and it gave it some some color and a nice texture.It was good. It was real good.Notes…You can use any sweet wine or port or sherry. Sweet vermouth would work, so would Marsala, or sweet sherry.If you can’t find lacinato kale, you can use regular kale. Either way, you’ll need to clean the kale. Here’s how to do it: start at the top of the leaf. Start tearing the leaves by hand into strips, about an inch or two wide.When the center stalk starts getting tough--about 1/3 of the way down the kale leaf--start pulling the leaves from the side of the stalk, and throw away the stalk.Clean the leaves with cold water and spin dry. You need 4 cups.Add the sunflower seeds and dried cranberries last--you don't want your nuts to get soggy, or the cranberries soaking up the port.Serves two.
INGREDIENTS1 bunch of Italian kale, also known as lacinato kale, 4 cups cleaned and dried3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil2 tablespoons chopped shallotCrushed red pepper to taste (I start off with 1/4 teaspoon)¼ cup of port (or any sweet dark wine—sweet Marsala, sweet vermouth)¼ cup dried cranberries2 tablespoons salted roasted sunflower seedsSalt (I use kosher--mazel tov!)Here we go...Put your lacinato kale in a bowl.Put the olive oil in a large sauté pan over medium-high heat, and let it heat up for 2 minutes.Add the 2 tablespoons of chopped shallots, and crushed red pepper to taste, and cook for a couple minutes, until the edges of the shallot start to turn golden brown.Add the port, or whatever wine you’re using. Turn the heat to high, and let it cook off for a minute or so.Reduce the heat to medium. Add half of the kale.Cook and stir until the kale wilts, a couple minutes.Add the rest of the kale. Cook and stir until the kale wilts, a couple minutes. Add a sprinkle of kosher salt, stir.Add the dried cranberries and stir.Add the sunflower seeds and stir.Taste for salt and adjust.Dish it up!This is a great side dish, I made it with chicken piccata, and it was a delish.
MANGIAMO!!!!!!!!!!!