Slim Man Cooks Salmon Cakes

Yesterday I did a 5@5 show, one where I sang nine Nat King Cole songs. When I finished, I was stinkin’ starvin’. I was on the phone with Hit Man Howie Z; he was giving me feedback on the show.

He was back east in B-Mo (Baltimore, Maryland), I was in Palm Springs, Californee.

As we were talking, I was looking in the cupboard for something to cook because everything else I had was frozen and I didn’t feel like waiting for things to defrost.

The only thing I could find was a can of wild Alaskan salmon

I looked at that can of salmon as I was talking to Hit Man Howie, and then it Hit me...

Make fish cakes! Make them like you make crab cakes, but with salmon instead. 

Jumbo lump crabmeat is about $900 a pound these days.

Well, maybe not that much. But when I went online the other day, it was $70 a pound. Seriously. And that did not include the $35 bucks for overnight shipping.

So...I told Howie I was thinking of making salmon cakes. And then Howie started telling me I should make them like he makes his crab cakes. A little Old Bay. An egg. Mayonnaise. Mustard...

I had most of the ingredients. I hung up with Hit Man and started organizing. And improvising...

I added some fresh Italian parsley, some panko breadcrumbs, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce to the mix...

I made small cakes, broiled them, and...

They were was Wowza. Howza Wowza!

I broiled them for about 5 minutes, and I’m telling you Slim People, they were pretty good.

You can serve them as they are or make a sandwich. 

NOTES:

When you open the can of salmon, drain it. Then put the salmon on a plate. Pick through it. It might have some soft bones, some skin. Get rid of all that stuff and anything else that looks funky. I also remove the dark areas of the salmon.

When you mix all the ingredients together, make sure the mixture is not too soggy. If it is, add a little more breadcrumbs. If it’s too dry, add a touch more mayo.

The can of salmon I used was actually about 14 ounces, not the usual 16 ounce can.

That can of salmon made five medium salmon cakes.

INGREDIENTS

One 16 ounce can wild Alaskan salmon (drained, bones, skin, and dark areas removed)

2 tablespoons mayonnaise

1 egg

½ cup panko breadcrumbs (Howie sometimes uses crumbled Saltines instead)

1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning

2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley

A dash of Worcestershire sauce

Salt and fresh cracked black pepper to taste

Put all the ingredients in a bowl.

Mix them by hand. If it’s too soggy, add some breadcrumbs. If it’s too dry, add a little mayo.

When she’s a so nice, make small cakes, about the size of a tin of chewing tabacky.

Turn on your broiler.

Get a baking pan or dish, put a little olive oil in the bottom. Wipe with excess with a paper towel. You just want a light coating on the bottom of the pan so the salmon cakes won’t stick to the pan.

Put the salmon cakes in the pan, stick under the broiler. Keep your eyes on these guys! From start to finish. 

Broil for 3 minutes and then check them. You want the tops to be golden brown. If they ain’t put ‘em back in until they are.

When they are goldenly delicious, take the salmon cakes out of the oven.

Dish ‘em up!

You can serve them with cocktail sauce, mustard, mayo, or just eat ‘em plain like I do!

MANGIAMO!

Slim Man Cooks the Best Fish Cakes

I had some concerts in Baltimore, Maryland, a few weeks ago. I did the shows, they were great, and I decided to hang out for a few days and visit some family and friends in the mental hospital. The last night of my trip, I sang the national anthem for the Baltimore Orioles; it was such an honor.And the Orioles beat the Pittsburgh Pirates that night in 11 innings! The next morning, at the crack of dawn, I flew to Palm Springs, Californy. On my way back to the Slim Shack, I picked up a beeyooteeful piece of halibut.I cooked it with my incredibly edible salmoriglio sauce, which is a quick Sicilian sauce with lemon, moscato (sweet) white wine, garlic, parsley and lemon. She was-a-so nice!I didn't eat it all. I mean, with a name like Slim Man, you can't be stuffing your face like your facing execution in the morning!So the next day, I'm looking at the leftover broiled halibut. What to do? Leftover fish ain’t my favorite thing in the world. Then I remembered one time I was up at my dad’s cabin, Rat Tail Ridge, in upstate New York—the Upper U.S.—and I had some leftover salmon.So I made fish cakes with the salmon, like crab cakes except with fish. They were scrump-diddly-umptious. So I decided to make fish cakes with the leftover halibut. Just for the halibut.I didn't want to add a lot of stuff to the fish cakes, because the fish already had the salmoriglio sauce on it, and I didn't want to add too many flavors to the fish. But…if you’re using a plain piece of cooked fish, you might want to add a teaspoon of mustard, or Old Bay seasoning, or Worcestershire sauce. Or all three!All I added to the halibut was a little mayo, some panko bread crumbs, an egg and some salt and pepper.I mixed it all together, made some patties, and broiled the fish cakes. Why broil? Why not fry?Because there was a Lady People at the Slim Shack, and women folks don’t like things that are fried. Well, they like them, but they don’t want to eat them because they think it will make them…how do I put this…plump. Now, I’m a man who likes a little meat on the bone, but it’s important to keep the ladies happy.Because if they ladies ain’t happy, you, my friend, will not be happy. So I just shut the hell up and broiled.The fish cakes were delizioso. Seriously. Keep in mind, the fish is already cooked, you’re basically just heating it up. So you don’t have to cook it for real long, just long enough for the tops to get golden brown.And you don’t have to turn them over, because the heat from the baking pan will heat up the underside of the fish cake.That’s it.INGREDIENTS2 cups of leftover cooked fish (check for bones and skin and remove them)1 egg1 tablespoon mayo½ cup panko breadcrumbsSalt and fresh-cracked black pepper to tasteHERE WE GO…Put all the ingredients in a bowl.Mix gently. You don’t want to completely smash up the fish, leave it a bit chunky.Form into 4 cakes, about the size of a small hamburger patty.Take a baking pan, put a little olive oil or non-stick cooking spray on the bottom, so the fish cakes don’t stick.Put your broiler on high.Put the fish cakes on the pan, and stick them under the broiler.Broil for 4 or 5 minutes, or until golden brown.Keep your eyes on these guys! Don’t burn them!Remove from the broiler, put the fish cakes on a nice plate.Dish it up! Add a little tartar sauce, and a little Dijon mustard on the side. I made my own tartar sauce with about a tablespoon of mayo and a teaspoon of sweet relish.Dip and eat!MANGIAMO!!!

Slim Man Cooks Crab Soup

Crab Soup and Destiny

The day I turned fourteen, I got my worker’s permit.  I’ve been working ever since.I’ve worked myself up from nothing to a case of extreme poverty.Soon after I got my worker’s permit, I got a job at my grandmother’s office as an office boy.  At that time, she was Vice President of the International Ladies’ Garment Workers Union.Angela was an incredible woman, a poor Italian immigrant who worked in a garment sweatshop in New York City.  Disgusted with the working conditions, she became an organizer, was assigned to the Delaware, Maryland and Virginia region, and helped start the International Ladies Garment Workers Union - the ILGWU.  She went on to become the Vice President, the first woman vice president of a major union in the USA.  She had an incredibly positive impact on thousands of lives.The ILGWU offices were in Baltimore, Maryland, on the corner of Howard and Baltimore Streets - right across the street from the Civic Center, which was where I saw Hendrix, the Doors, Led Zeppelin and a ton of other bands.My Mom didn’t drive.  My Dad moved back to New York when they got divorced.  This meant when I needed to get around, I took the bus.In the morning, I’d walk to the bus stop and I’d take the bus to school.  Roland Park.  After school, I’d take the bus home and have lunch.  Then I’d catch a bus downtown, and work at Angela’s office until it closed.  Then I’d catch the bus back home, have some dinner, do my homework, and go to sleep.One cold winter day, I was waiting outside the Civic Center to catch the bus home from work.  It was downright frosty.  I noticed a kid about my age, no coat on, no winter clothes, standing there shivering.  I went over and asked him if he was OK.He told me he had run away from home, had just arrived from Florida; no money, no clothes, no job, no nothin’.  I invited him to the house for some dinner.We got on the bus and rode to my neighborhood.  The bus stop was about a half-mile from my house on Rosebank Avenue. When I walked in, I started to introduce this kid to my Mom - but I didn’t know his name.  When I asked him, he told us his name was -Destiny.He had long, blond, scraggly hair.  He was short and slight and skinny as could be.  He was shaking from the cold.  About the only thing he had to his name besides the clothes on his back was his harmonica.I asked my Mom if he could stay for dinner.  She said yes.  Destiny ended up staying with us for about a year.My Mom was the sweetest woman in the world.  She was so wonderful in so many ways that it could fill a whole book or two.  She brought out the best in people.  Everybody shined a little brighter in her presence.  And she took Destiny under her wing.Destiny immediately went to look for a job.  About the only thing he could find was a job at a car wash.  In the winter.  I gave him some of my clothes, but he was a lot shorter than I was, so he looked kinda funny.  We went to an Army surplus store, and got him a military coat, and some other things.Destiny would come home from the car wash, and he would be frozen, his shoes soaked with water.  My Mom would feed us dinner, and Destiny and I would go upstairs.  I’d do homework.  Then, I’d play guitar and Destiny would play his harmonica.He used to sing this song that he wrote…“The River of Love is soft and free.”Then he’d play a little harmonica riff.“The River of Love was meant to be.”Then he’d play another riff.What he lacked in talent, he made up for with enthusiasm.  It was a catchy little tune.  We became really good friends.  He also became pretty good on harmonica.My Mom loved him.Destiny was an incredibly polite and positive kid.  I never heard him say a bad word about anybody or anything.  I never heard him complain.  He had a funny laugh, like he was almost embarrassed for chuckling.My Mom was a great cook.  She cooked all kinds of different stuff — Italian, French, Indian, Mexican.Destiny had never eaten food like that.  He ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and Campbell’s tomato soup out of a can. When my Mom would cook some exotic foods, Destiny would get this look of apprehension on his face.One time my Mom cooked crab soup.  Her recipe was amazing.  She would not only use crabmeat, she used other parts of the crab as well, mostly the claws.  When she served you a bowl, there would be a vicious looking crab claw peeking out at you.The first time my Mom served Destiny a bowl of crab soup, he saw that crab claw, and had no idea what to do.  We showed him how to crack it, and eat it.Destiny was clearly not used to anything like that.  He took one look at that crab claw, and you could see the trepidation in his eyes.  He was way too polite to do anything but try to figure out how to eat it.  After he finished, I could tell he was trying to say something sweet to my Mom.  He looked at her and said,“Thank you very much, Miss C.  It’s been a long time since I had a meal like that.”From that point on, that was our go-to line when we ate something we didn’t like.One Friday night, there was a knock at the front door.  I opened it up.  A young kid asked me if Destiny was around, and I showed him upstairs.  The two kids hugged.  Destiny introduced the other kid.  His name was -Joker.I’m not joking.Joker was Destiny’s younger brother.  The two of them left Rosebank shortly thereafter and I didn’t hear from Destiny for years and years.Then I got an email about forty years later.  It was from Destiny.  He told me how he’d moved to Florida, and then to Georgia, and had a kid.  He named his son –Timothy.Destiny was so incredibly grateful for what we’d done.  He told me that he had taken up painting.  Not houses, but artwork.  He asked me my address and I gave it to him.  He sent me one of his paintings.   It was really cool.  I was flattered.The painting was called –LOVE.It’s all about LOVE.CRAB SOUPMy Mom loved steamed crabs.  In Baltimore they use blue crabs; they catch them in the Chesapeake Bay and the surrounding rivers in the summer, and import them from the Gulf of Mexico in the winter. The fine people of B-Mo steam the crabs in beer, vinegar and Old Bay.Old Bay is a seasoning with salt, pepper, paprika and other spices. It was created in Baltimore; they used to make it at a factory on the water by the Inner Harbor. In the summertime, downtown Bawlmer smelled a bit…spicy.My Mom would get a couple dozen steamed crabs from a place called Bo Brooks, and bring them home.  We’d cover the table in newspapers, grab some wooden mallets, and have a little crab feast. It’s a Bawlmer tradition, Hon!When we were done, my Mom would pick through the leftover crabs, and use the meat and some of the claws to make crab soup. But unless you’re in Baltimore in the summertime, you’re going to most likely use a pound of crabmeat for crab soup rather than fresh-picked steamed crabs.Jumbo lump crabmeat comes from the top of the hind leg; it’s really good but expensive. You can also get lump crabmeat, which comes from the top of the other legs, and is less expensive but real good. You can also buy claw meat, which is the least expensive, and not as quite as moist or tasty as the others.  But still pretty good.  You can use a combination of these crabmeats; just make sure you end up with a pound.If you’re using a pound of unseasoned crabmeat, you’ll need to add Old Bay seasoning to the soup. I use 2 tablespoons. if you're not into spicy food, start off with 1 tablespoon, give the soup a taste halfway through. If it needs a little more spice, add another tablespoon of Old Bay.If you’re using leftover crabs, they’ll have some Old Bay on them, so you might not need any additional seasoning. Give the soup a taste halfway through the process, and if it needs more spice, add some Old Bay, a teaspoon at a time.You can use fresh corn--cut off the cob--or canned or frozen.Ingredients3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil½ cup each--chopped celery, carrot, and onion4 or 5 celery tops (the leaves at the top of the stalks)2 cups water2 cups beef broth (you can use vegetable, chicken or seafood – in Maryland we use beef)1 cup each lima beans, sweet corn, string beans – ends trimmed, broken into bite-size pieces1 twenty-eight ounce can of Italian tomatoes, smooshed by hand into small pieces1 pound of jumbo lump crab meat2 tablespoons Old Bay seasoningOPTIONAL: 8 steamed crab claws, don’t rinse off the Old Bay!Here we go…Get a large pot or Dutch oven.  Put the olive oil in the bottom over medium heat for 2 minutes.Add the celery, carrots, and onion. Add the celery leaves. Cook for 5-7 minutes, until soft. Stir, stir, stir.Add the water, the broth, the lima beans, corn, and string beans.Add the tomatoes.Add the Old Bay seasoning.Cover, turn the heat on high.When it comes to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook until the vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes.  Stir every couple of minutes.As the soup simmers, put the crabmeat in a bowl.Gently feel for any crab shell or cartilage.Be careful!  You don’t want to break up the lumps.Discard any shell or cartilage.After the soup has simmered for 10 minutes, and the vegetables are tender, add the crabmeat to the soup, along with any leftover steamed crab claws – if you got’em.Let the soup simmer--uncovered--for 10 minutes.  Keep in mind, the crab claws and the crabmeat are already cooked, you’re just heating them up — don’t overcook, and don’t stir too often.  You don’t want to break up the lumps of crab.Taste for Old Bay seasoning, and add another tablespoon if needed.Taste for salt, and add if needed.Dish it up!  Get a large soup bowl, ladle in some soup, place a claw on the side of the plate to give it that dangerous look, and…MANGIAMO!!!!!!!

Slim Man Cooks Crab Cakes

Crab Cakes and My Motown AlbumI always wanted to be a songwriter. There was a time when I thought I wanted to be an artist, to be in the spotlight; but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be behind the curtain, not in front of it. I wanted to write songs and have other people record them.I figured if you’re a songwriter, you could lose your teeth, lose your hair, gain 100 pounds and nobody would care. Most people know the latest smash hit single. But chances are they don’t know who wrote it.You could be a hit songwriter and walk into the 7-11 in your bathrobe with no drawers on and nobody would even know who you are.That’s who I wanted to be – not the guy in the 7-11 in his bathrobe with no drawers on – the guy who wrote the songs. The behind-the-scenes guy.So I studied. I learned. My Dad got me the Cole Porter songbook. I bought the Motown songbook. I analyzed all those songs. I learned every hit song I could get my hands on.Stevie Wonder was one of my favorite songwriters. Talking Book, Innervisions, Songs in the Key of Life - those were the albums that inspired me. I loved that style of songwriting. It was jazz. It was pop. It was soul. I wanted to write songs like those.I wrote and recorded some of my own songs at a studio in Baltimore, Maryland, named Flite III. I started shopping them around. After a dismal meeting in New York with a big publisher, I knocked on Motown’s door on 57th Street in Manhattan, right across the street from Carnegie Hall. The VP of Motown at the time was a guy named Carl Griffin. He liked my songs and signed me as a songwriter.I had been writing songs for years. And now, all of a sudden, I was writing songs for Motown.One of the first songs I wrote for Motown was included on Angela Bofill’s debut CD, Angie. The CD did much better than expected. It got rave reviews in the New York Times and the LA Times. It was selling like crazy.That’s when Motown offered me a recording contract. I was a little bit conflicted. On the one hand, I was having a blast writing songs. Who needs to be an artist? But, on the other hand - how many times in your life are you going to get offered a recording contract with Motown?So I signed with Motown as a recording artist. They gave me a small advance. What did this Baltimore Boy spend his first advance on?Tickets to see the Baltimore Orioles play the Pittsburgh Pirates in the World Series.It was the only extravagance I afforded myself all year. The rest of the time I was working on my Big Debut CD. I did most of my writing and recording in Baltimore.I was living at my Mom’s. I’d still be living there now if she hadn’t kicked me out when I was 40. We were sitting around the dinner table one night, and the phone rang. My sister answered it, and told me it was for me.I talked for a while, and then came back to the table. My sister asked me who it was.“Stevie Wonder.”I was working on a song for my Motown album and needed to know the name of a percussion instrument Stevie had used on one of his songs.   Stevie called me and told me. It was a “cuica.”My sister freaked out. She couldn’t believe it was Stevie. I had asked Carl to see if he could find out what the instrument was, but I wasn’t expecting Stevie Wonder to call me. But it was nice of him to do so.It took me a year to finish the Motown album. I wrote string charts. I wrote horn charts and chord charts. I practiced bass and piano until I couldn’t practice anymore. I worked as hard as I’ve ever worked. I hired some guys from the Baltimore Symphony to play strings. I hired the percussionist from the O’Jays to play bongos. Hit Man Howie Z played drums.It took me a while, but I finally got the music to the point where it sounded just right. I was finished. Finally!Carl and I mixed the album in Baltimore. Motown chose two songs to be the first singles, and they flew me out to LA to mix them in their brand new state-of-the-art recording studio. They put me up in Hollywood at the legendary Chateau Marmont in a private bungalow. Not too shabby. It was so big, I could have played Frisbee in the living room.When we finished mixing the singles, Motown flew me back to the east coast.I was waiting for a release date for my Big Debut when I got invited to a party in Manhattan at the Bronx Botanical Gardens.   Stevie Wonder was having a release party for his Secret Life of Plants album. His label was distributed by Motown and they threw him a lavish fiesta.The party was amazing. The food, the wine, the flowers, the music, and the decorations - I’d never seen anything like that. I was hanging out at this wonderful party, with Stevie and other Motowners, and having a blast. I was in heaven.I went to the bathroom, and one of the Motown executives was washing his hands, looking at me in the mirror, and said,“Sorry to hear about your album.”I asked him what he meant.That’s when he told me that my album had been put on the shelf. The VP in charge of my record had been fired, and all the projects he’d been working on had been put on ice, including mine. That’s the way I found out about it.It wasn’t the happiest day of my life.My album is still sitting in a vault somewhere at Motown. It never saw the light of day. I don’t even have a copy.And here’s the thing - Motown didn’t want to release the CD, but they also didn’t want to release me from my contract. They didn’t want anybody else picking me up and possibly making them look bad. I was handcuffed.I was doing the same kind of music at Motown as I’m doing now, a combination of pop, soul and jazz. It was like early Slim Man. Slim Boy, if you will.I started writing really loud and angry rock songs, songs with titles like “Gimme a Break” and “I’m a Victim.” Instead of singing in my normal range, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I was trying to do anything to get out of my Motown contract. It worked. Motown eventually released me.The guy downstairs from the Motown office in New York heard these rock songs I wrote. He loved them. He had a punk rock record company called STIFF Records. Their motto – which was on their T-shirts, merchandise, and their front door – was,”If It Ain’t STIFF, It Ain’t Worth A F**K.”They had Ian Dury and the Blockheads, Lena Lovitch, Elvis Costello. I loved the music they put out. Ian Dury is still one of my favorites. Reasons to Be Cheerful, Part Three!The guy at STIFF Records suggested the name BootCamp. A band was born. One door closes, another one opens.CRAB CAKESWhen you’re feeling crabby after getting dropped from your record label, do what I did. Make crab cakes.Crab cakes are to Baltimore what barbecue is to Kansas City and what gumbo is to New Orleans. Ask a thousand people in Baltimore how they make crab cakes and you’ll get a thousand different recipes.The thing to remember when making crab cakes, is that the crabmeat is the King. You don’t want too much other stuff going on in there. Also, keep in mind that the crabmeat has already been cooked. You’re just heating it up, basically. So you don’t want to cook them too long, they’ll dry out.The most expensive and delicious kind of crabmeat is jumbo lump, which comes from a section of the crab that’s right above the back leg. There is also lump crabmeat – from the tops of the other legs - which is less expensive and still pretty good. Then there’s the claw meat – which is a lot less expensive, and not nearly as good.Some people fry their crab cakes. Some people broil them. Broiling is my favorite; it’s quick, healthy and delizioso. Hit Man Howie Z is the Crab Cake King. He doesn’t always eat crab cakes, but when he does, he prefers them broiled.Ingredients:1 pound jumbo lump crabmeat1 egg¼ cup plain bread crumbs, or plain panko bread crumbs2 tablespoons of mayonnaise1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning (it has a lot of salt and pepper in it, so you don’t need to add any)1 teaspoon dry mustard1 tablespoon chopped Italian flat leaf parsleyExtra virgin olive oil1 tablespoon butter (if frying)Here we go...Put your crabmeat in a bowl, check it for shells, but be gentle! You don’t want to break up the lumps. Add all the ingredients except the olive oil and butter. Moosh gently until it looks and feels right--not too dry and not too soggy. If it’s too soggy, add a bit more breadcrumbs. If it’s too dry, add a little more mayonnaise.Take some crabmeat mixture in the palm of your hand – about the size of a tangerine--and roll it into a ball. Then flatten it a bit. Repeat the procedure until you have about 6 crab cakes.Turn on your broiler. Get a baking pan, rub just a little olive oil on the bottom. Put the crab cakes on the pan, make sure they’re not all crowded together.When the broiler gets hot, broil for 3 to 5 minutes until golden brown on top, then flip them over and broil on the other side for 3 to 5 minutes, until the tops are golden.Keep in mind every oven, every stove is different, cooking times may vary. Wildly!If you’re frying, put a large sauté pan over medium-high heat. Put just enough olive oil in the pan to cover the bottom, about a tablespoon, then add a tablespoon of butter. When the butter melts, fry the crab cakes for 3 to 5 minutes. Flip ‘em over. Fry for 3 to 5 minutes on the other side. You want the tops to be golden brown.However you cook your crab cakes, make ‘em look nice! Dish ‘em up. Garnish with a sprig of parsley, maybe a slice of lemon. You can eat ‘em plain. Or you can serve them with cocktail sauce, tartar sauce, or wet mustard. You can make a sandwich, maybe add a little lettuce, tomato and mayo and…MANGIAMO!!!!!!