I saw a tour bus driving north on Route 29. I started following it.I had just come from the recording studio in Washington, DC. It was the early 1990s. I had written a song for a singer named Brian Jack. Brian was the former lead singer in a Baltimore band named Child’s Play. He had a great voice, big charisma, and I took him into the studio to do some songs I’d written. We hit it off.The two of us lived in a house on Sue Creek, in a town outside Baltimore called Essex. People in Baltimore made fun of Essex--probably because a lot of rednecks lived there. I liked Essex.The house we shared was incredible — 21 Woody Road. It was right on the water--kinda like a Redneck Riviera. We had windsurfers, Sea-Doos, all these great water toys. None of them were ours - people parked their things at our pier, and they’d let us use them in return.
The previous tenant had been hauled off to jail for insurance fraud. I remember the first time I met him. He was standing in the huge living room. It had cathedral ceilings, a big fireplace, and massive floor-to-ceiling glass doors that overlooked the deck, the pier and the river. I’ll never forget what the guy said,“I laid a lot of pipe in this house.”I thought maybe the guy was a plumber. Then it hit me — he wasn’t talking about shower stalls.Brian and I moved in soon after the guy was taken off to prison. I wrote songs for Brian, he sang ‘em. Things were starting to take off, he was getting airplay, and packing the clubs.Brian and I were heading home from the studio when we saw the tour bus and started following it. I had this intuitive feeling that we should tag along behind the bus. A couple minutes later, it pulled over to the side of the highway, onto the shoulder. I pulled right behind it. The driver got out of the bus, came over and asked me if I knew the way to Merriweather Post Pavilion.As a matter of fact, I did. I told him to follow me.I saw the Doors at Merriweather Post Pavilion on their first tour. I saw Led Zeppelin at Merriweather when they opened for the Who back in 1969 — the only time that ever happened. Procol Harum, Paul Simon, and Frank Sinatra; I’d seen them all there. I’d even played on that stage before. I knew where the backstage entrance was. The big-ass tour bus followed me in my little blue Honda station wagon.
We reached the security gate, and I told them what was going on, and they waved us through. They didn’t even ask any questions. I’m guessing they were well aware that whoever was on that tour bus was running late.The tour bus followed me on the small winding road through the woods to the backstage area. When we got there, the bus driver parked, got out, and thanked me a million times.And then guess who stepped off the bus?B.B. King. When I was a kid, my Mom had brought home an album of his called Indianola Mississippi Seeds. Man, did I love that record. I must have played it a million times. “Chains and Things”, “Nobody Loves Me But My Mother”, “Hummingbird” – which was written by Leon Russell—I loved those songs. Joe Walsh played guitar on that album, Carole King played some keyboards. It was one of my favorites.I loved B.B. King and here he was standing right in front of me.He thanked me. He asked me and Brian if we’d like to stay and see the show. Then he walked us to the side of the stage, and dropped us off, right behind the curtain. We waited in the wings. I looked out at the crowd. It was buzzing.A few moments later, B.B. King’s band took the stage and played one song. Then B.B. King came out, and played and sang his heart out. All night long. Brian and I watched the whole concert from the side of the stage, a couple yards away. It was an amazing show.After the show, B.B. King invited us back to his dressing room. He signed autographs for everybody waiting in line. He told stories. He was charming, laid-back and as gracious as could be.B.B. signed a photo for me.A crazy coincidence…The guy who signed me to Motown way back when was Carl Griffin. Carl had produced a CD for B.B. King called Live At The Apollo. It won a Grammy in 1992 for both B.B. and Carl. When I mentioned to B.B. King that night that Carl was one of my best friends, B.B. smiled and said,“Carl’s a good man.”Yes, he is!Want to hear the rest of the story about the Live at the Apollo CD?Ray Charles was scheduled to do the concert that night with B.B. King. But right before the show, Ray Charles demanded to be paid an additional 50 grand--in advance--to be included in the live recording. Nobody had that kind of cash lying around on short notice. So Carl decided to go ahead with the show. Ray Charles played, but was not included on the live CD.The CD went on to win a Grammy for Griff and B.B.And that’s the rest of the story.
Cippolini and Red Bell Pepper Sauce (for fish)After a night of singing the blues, this is a dish that will make you happy.The first time I made this sauce, I used maple syrup. Not pancake syrup, maple syrup! Big difference.My Dad lived on top of a mountain in upstate New York. Maple syrup was everywhere—you could see taps on maple trees with buckets underneath all over the place. Real maple syrup is real good.Getting to the grocery store at my Dad’s house was an ordeal. So if you ran out of something, you had to spend a good hour driving to and from town to get what you needed.One time I ran out of sugar for my coffee. I put in some maple syrup instead and loved it. It’s still my preferred coffee sweetener. Another time, I ran out of honey--I was going to use it in a sauce for grilled salmon. I used maple syrup instead—just a little—and loved it.I know some real good cooks who look down on this kind of thing. One of them suggested I try a medium sherry instead, and I did. I cooked the sauce both ways, with sherry and with maple syrup.I did a taste test at Slim’s Shady Trailer Park. Everybody loved the sauce with the maple syrup much better than the one with the sherry. But what the hell do those people know?If you want to substitute sherry for maple syrup, use a cream/sweet sherry.You can use this sauce over fish. I’ve used it over seared mahi and it turned out well. Mahi is a strong-tasting fish—so I used a little more sauce than I normally would. If you’d like to use a milder fish, you can use this sauce on seared or baked grouper, halibut, or salmon. Less is more—less sauce is mo’ better on mild fish.I used this sauce on baked salmon recently and it was magnifico. I used just a drizzle of sauce.This is powerful stuff!
Notes…Cippolini onions are small onions, a little sweeter and milder than regular onions. You can find them in most grocery stores. If you can’t, use shallots instead.Meyer lemons are my favorites; they’re sweeter and milder than regular lemons. I’m into sweet and mild these days, I guess. If you can’t find Meyer lemons, use a ripe, soft lemon.You can use red bell pepper, or a combination of red and yellow bell peppers. Whatever combination you use, you’ll only need a tablespoon or so.To sear a piece of fish...get a medium sauté pan. Put it over medium-high heat. Add a tablespoon of butter, and a tablespoon of olive oil. Salt and pepper your fish, then sprinkle a LITTLE brown sugar (or turbinado sugar, or regular sugar in a pinch) on top. Do both sides, but use just a little salt, pepper and sugar, got it?When the butter starts to bubble, sear for 2 or 3 minutes, depending on the thickness. Then flip over and sear the other side for a couple minutes.Thick fish take longer.To bake a piece of fish, heat your oven to 400 degrees. Rub your fish all over with a little olive oil, and then sprinkle a little salt and pepper on top. Put it in a glass or ceramic baking dish and bake for 10 minutes. Check it with a fork. If it flakes, it’s done. If it doesn’t put it back in the oven until it does. Then drizzle a little cippolini sauce on top.
INGREDIENTS2 tablespoons olive oil1 tablespoon butter2 tablespoons chopped cippolini onions1 tablespoon minced red bell pepper (or half and half red and yellow bell pepper)1 tablespoon maple syrup¼ cup dry white wine1 tablespoon lemon juice1 tablespoon chopped Italian flat leaf parsleyKosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper to tasteHere we go…Put the olive oil and butter in a small sauté pan over medium-high heat for 2 or 3 minutes—don’t let the butter burn!When the butter starts to bubble, add the onions and red bell peppers and cook for 2 minutes while stirring and swirling. This is how you swirl…remove the pan from the heat for about 10 seconds, and swirl everything all around. Put the pan back on the heat for 30 seconds and repeat.Add the maple syrup and cook for 2 minutes, swirl and stir.Add the wine and cook for 1 minute. Shall we swirl and stir?Add the lemon juice. Cook for 2 minutes.Add the parsley; add kosher salt and some fresh cracked black pepper to taste.That’s the sauce! You are now The Boss of the Sauce—use it over seared mahi, or baked salmon, or whatever fish you like. You’re the Boss.
MANGIAMO!!!
Slim Man Cooks Salmon Ella
Batu and I were hanging out at the Slim Shack. I had a piece of salmon, we were listening to Ella Fitzgerald, and I became inspired. So I created this recipe. I call it…Salmon Ella.I love salmon. I love Ella. Put ‘em both together and you got Salmon Ella.One of my top five CDs ever in the history of the world? Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. It really is one of my favorites. Louis Armstrong changed my life. When I was five years old, my Dad took me to a movie called The Five Pennies, and I saw Louis sing and play, and I turned to my Dad and said,“That’s what I want to do.” I wanted to play and sing like Louis Armstrong. I begged my Dad for a trumpet.
A couple weeks later, for Christmas, my Dad got me a plastic toy trumpet. I broke it. I told him I wanted a real trumpet, not a toy. I was a rotten kid, huh? For my birthday—January 16th, keep those cards and presents coming—my Dad rented me a real trumpet. I could hardly hold it up. I had to dig my elbows into my sides when I played. I loved it. I fell in love with music. We got married soon after. We’ve been together ever since.I played trumpet for years. I did Louis Armstrong imitations. I still love Louis Armstrong. And the CD he did with Ella Fitzgerald is great. They did a couple. The first one, released in 1957, is the best of the bunch. It features the Oscar Peterson Trio, Norman Granz produced it (the production is stellar), and not only is it one of the best CDs 
ever, it has one of the best cover photos ever.My Mom was an incredibly smart woman, and a huge hero of mine. She had a tough go of it, yet forged an incredible life without a whole lot of help. When she and my Dad divorced, she found herself with three young kids, no job skills, a high school education, and not much else. She didn’t even know how to drive.Still, she picked herself up, dusted herself off and did what needed to be done. She learned how to drive. She taught herself the skills she needed. She studied the dictionary, the English language, learned how to type and how to write. She taught herself foreign languages.She started counseling troubled teens at John Hopkins Hospital, and ended up running the psychology department at Johns Hopkins University. Guys with more degrees than a thermometer were asking my Mom to help them with papers, articles and theses.
She didn’t have a lot of money. She managed to travel, had a chance to see the world – that was important to her. Music was really important to her. She had a nice stereo, and a great collection of music. But she was frugal. She had to be.When Ella Fitzgerald came to the Lyric Opera House in Baltimore, Maryland, my Mom could only afford one ticket. Which she bought for me. She thought it was important that I see Ella, so I caught the bus, went downtown to the concert and saw Ella Fitzgerald sing with the Billy Taylor Trio.Wow. What a show. I sat in the balcony, and soaked it all up. It was a thrill. Ella Fitzgerald was a wonderful singer. What a voice. Such a pure tone. Great diction, always in tune. Joyful. Girlish. Swinging like nobody’s business. Ella scatted better than anybody. Her scats were as good as any Miles Davis solo.Ella didn’t have an easy life. She was born in Virginia, her dad left when she was an infant. Her Mom died when Ella was fifteen. Her stepdad abused her, so her aunt took her away from Virginia, to New York City. Ella took to the streets of Harlem, was a numbers runner and a lookout for a bordello. She was in and out of reform schools and orphanages.
Then she entered a talent contest at the Apollo, and won. The grand prize was $25. She became a regular at the Apollo, and things took off from there. She started singing with Chick Webb, a drummer who led a big band. She started recording, and a song she co-wrote--“A Tisket, A Tasket”--became a hit. Ella started singing at the Jazz at the Philharmonic series, concerts put on by Norman Granz, who became her manager, and produced those incredible recordings with Louis Armstrong.Ella went on to win 13 Grammys, sell millions of records, and tour the world. She was shy and quiet – but strong and determined. Kind of like my Mom. Except my Mom was never a lookout for a bordello. Not that I know of, anyway.SALMON ELLA
In cooking, just like in music, sometimes you have to improvise.I was going to use honey in this marinade, but I ran out. I used maple syrup instead. My Dad lived in upstate New York, and he had this homemade maple syrup that was so stinkin’ good. So when I ran out of honey, I used a little of my Dad’s maple syrup instead and it was really good.Why do they make soy sauce so salty? The next morning my fingers look like bratwurst and my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. I use low-sodium soy sauce.I like my salmon the way I like my women - wild and Alaskan. There’s a joke in there somewhere, it just hasn’t come to me yet.Salmon are anadromous. It means they are born in fresh water, migrate to salt water, and then return to fresh water to reproduce.Just thought I’d toss that out there.INGREDIENTS1 pound piece of wild salmon filet, skin removedFor the marinade…½ cup low sodium soy sauce1 tablespoon chopped scallions/green onions, bottom root and top leaves cut off and discarded1 tablespoon grated ginger1 tablespoon minced garlic2 tablespoons maple syrup1 teaspoon hot sauce (use less if you don't like it spicy!)Here we go…Rinse off your salmon and pat dry with paper towels.Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.Mix all the marinade ingredients together. Set aside.Put the salmon in a baking dish.
Pour half of the marinade over the salmon. Set the other half aside.When the oven comes to temperature, put the salmon, uncovered, in the oven on the middle rack.Cook for 10 minutes.While the fish cooks, put the remaining marinade in a small saucepan over low heat and reduce for 5 minutes. Remove from heat.After 10 minutes, the fish should be done. Thinner pieces take less time, thicker pieces take more. Ovens are crazy, too. Some run hot, some run cold.Test the fish with a fork. If it flakes it’s done. Some folks like it rare, some like it cooked well. I like it medium. If I want raw fish, I’ll go out for sushi.Dish it up! Put the fish on a nice platter. Drizzle with a little of the reduced marinade, dress it up with a scallion. My broccoli and peppers would go well with this.
MANGIAMO!!!!!
Slim Man Cooks Potato Leek Soup
I was walking down the streets of Paris with Hit Man Howie Z when I heard a woman’s voice calling my name. This was weird, because it was my first time in Paris. I didn’t know anybody there. Who the hell could it be?I turned around and was staring at two of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. One I knew.Her name was Barbie, and she used to be a cocktail waitress at a club that Howie and I used to play in Baltimore, Maryland, a place called Girard’s. The other gal I didn’t know. Barbie introduced us to her friend. When I asked Barbie what she was doing in Paris, she told me she was doing some modeling for Vogue magazine. She told me her friend had just been on the cover of the Italian Vogue.I invited them to dinner that night. It would probably cost every penny I had, but how many times are you gonna have an opportunity like this? Paris? Supermodels?When Barbie asked me what Howie and I were doing in Paris, I told to her that we were in London, trying to get something going with our band, BootCamp. Howie and I had come over to Paris to meet my cousin, Mindy, who was having her art exhibited at a gallery.
That’s what I told them, which was all true, but not the whole truth. The whole truth?We had rented a cheap flat in London for a week or so. It was me, Howie (drums), Bob (guitar) and a friend of ours named Mac. We were struggling musicians, except for Mac. He didn’t look like he was struggling--he was wearing custom silk suits and buying expensive antiques.The rest of us were on a real tight budget.One evening we went to a pub and had some drinks. We were having a good ol’ time in LondonTown. I noticed Mac in the corner, talking to some Rastafarian. He gave Mac a little package, and then RastaMan screamed, "RUN!" All hell broke loose.A couple of British policemen started running towards the pub, blowing their whistles. We took off running. We exploded out of that pub. We ran through yards, gardens. We sprinted down alleys, leaping over cars. We jumped fences. It’s amazing how fast you move when cops are chasing you. Not that it happens to me very often.We made it back to the flat. How, I don’t know. Turns out Mac had bought some hashish from the Jamaican. It seemed to me like a good time to get out of London.So Howie and I took off for Paris. We got on a Hovercraft to cross the English Channel. A Hovercraft is a huge boat. Massive. It sits on what looks like an immense flat tire. You board the boat, and they inflate the tire. So you start rising and rising, way up in the air.They turn on these gigantic fans on the back of the boat, and it blows you across the water, like you’re on a huge inner tube. The English Channel was choppy that day. It was a real rough ride. And Howie was really hungover from the night before.He laid down on a row of seats behind me. Every few minutes, he’d poke his head up, and each time he did, he was a different shade of green. He looked like he was gonna die. We finally made it across the Channel, and caught a train to Paris.My cousin picked us up. She's quite an artist. Her paintings are intriguing and original and worthy of an exhibition. She gave us a ride to the apartment where she was staying with a friend.
Her friend’s name was Jaime, and he was quite a character. He was an artist, and did surreal paintings, similar in style to Salvador Dali. He had a goatee and long brown hair, and wore scarves and black crushed velvet smoking jackets with colored silk pocket squares. I dug his style.His apartment was cozy, comfy, and cool.A few days later, Howie and I were walking down the street when we met the Vogue supermodels.A few hours later, we were in a swanky restaurant in Paris called Chez Georges and it was intoxicating. The Russian chef guy came over to the table. If I were the chef, I would have come over to our table, too. The girls were that gorgeous.Chef dude started talking to us. He spoke into a microphone that was hooked up to a small speaker that hung around his neck. I didn’t understand a word he said; the speaker was distorted, and I couldn’t even tell what language it was. I thought it was some kind of comedy routine until I realized the guy had some serious vocal issues.We ordered dinner, and it was lovely. One of the many wonderful things about Europe is the way they take their time when they eat out.At the end of the dinner, Russian chef guy came back with a bottle of vodka. No label, just an old, clear bottle. It had all sorts of stuff in the bottom — black peppercorns, red peppers, green pepperoncini. It looked like birdseed soaking in grain alcohol.He placed a big metal shot glass in front of Howie and poured it full. He shouted something in Russian and motioned for Howie to drink. The table got real quiet. Russian chef barked out another order. We looked at Howie. He looked at us. He drank.After he swallowed, his eyes started to tear up. His face turned red. He started sweating. I thought his head was gonna explode. Then the mad Russian turned to me. He poured me a shot in the same metal glass. I looked around the table. He barked something in Russian and I picked up the glass and drank it all down.It was like swallowing a red-hot piece of charcoal. My throat was on fire. My eyes watered. I felt like I was gonna projectile vomit. But I didn’t.After dinner, we invited the girls back to Jaime’s apartment.That’s when the circus began. We walked in the front door and Jaime had a certain look in his eye. He looked at those girls like the Big Bad Wolf looking at Little Red Riding Hood.My grandmother had a dog named Pepe that tried to hump everyone who walked through the front door.Jaime wasn’t quite that bad. But Howie and I were hoping that maybe he would be going off to bed. No such luck. I think Jaime had other things in mind. We poured some drinks, and then Jaime turned on the French charm, full blast. Those poor girls. I think Jaime's libidinous lip-smacking might have scared them.The supermodels ran out of that place like it was on fire. If they had leapt from the balcony I wouldn’t have blamed them.We never saw them again. Just as well, I guess. Supermodels must be expensive girlfriends. Should I pay the mortgage? Or buy her a new handbag?Potato Leek Soup
If you’re looking for a French dish to cook after two supermodels have just walked out of your life, have I got a dish for you. The French call this vichyssoise.This soup is so quick, so easy, so inexpensive to make, I can’t believe I don’t make it more often.You can serve it hot. You can serve it chilled. You can serve it at room temperature. You can serve it chunky. Or you can put it in a blender and serve it smooth. It’s delicious. Which is the most important thing.The last time I made this soup, I thought it needed a little crunch on top. So I cut a leek into matchstick-size pieces, dusted them with flour that I had salted and peppered, and fried them for about a minute.When I served the soup, I stuck the slivers into the soup so it looked like a little teepee in the center of the bowl. My Dad would have smacked me on the back of the head and given me grief over that, but they tasted great, and it looked cool.You’ll need 4 leeks for the soup.Cut off about an inch of the white root at the bottom, and cut off most of the green upper part of the stalks. You’ll have about 6 or 7 inches or so of stalk left. RINSE WELL, especially in between the leaves.Peel off the outer leaf of each leek. You’ll use these for the garnish. You’ll also see just how dirty leeks can be. You gotta clean ‘em well!Chop up 4 of the stalks, into chunky pieces, which should give you 4 cups for the soup. Slice the leek leaves you pulled off into matchstick size slivers—you’ll fry these for the garnish.INGREDIENTSFor the soup…4 tablespoons butter4 cups chopped potatoes4 cups chopped leeks4 cups chicken broth (or vegetable)Salt and pepperFor the fried leeks:4 tablespoons of olive oil1/4 cup of flour4 whole leek leaves, cut into matchstick-size sliversSalt and pepperLet’s do the soup first…Put the butter in the bottom of a large pan over medium-low heat. Add the 4 cups of chopped potatoes, and the 4 cups of chopped leeks.Cook for 10 minutes, stir often.Add the broth--I used chicken—and put the heat on high. When the soup comes to a boil, reduce the heat to medium-low, add salt and fresh cracked black pepper, and cook for 30 minutes. Stir often.While the soup cooks, let’s sauté our leeks.
Get a sauté pan, put the olive oil in the bottom, and turn the heat to medium-high.Put the flour on a plate and add salt and pepper.Put the leek slivers in the flour, roll ‘em around, shake off the excess, and place in the sauté pan.Cook for about 30 seconds to 1 minute–until golden brown, then turn them over and cook for another 30 seconds to 1 minute on the other side until golden brown.Remove them from the pan and place them on paper towels.Now back to the soup…When the soup has cooked for 30 minutes, it should be done. Stick a fork in a piece of potato to make sure.At this point, you’ve got a decision to make - smooth or chunky. In cold weather, I like it chunky and hot — just like my women. In hot weather, I like it smooth and cool, like a supermodel.If you want it chunky, take a slotted spoon, or a masher, and mash the potatoes and leeks, right there in the pot.If you want it smooth, put the soup in a blender and give it a couple of pulses. If you want it chilled, stick it in the fridge for a little while.Put some soup in a bowl. Garnish with the fried leeks--make a little teepee in the center. Serve it with some hot and crusty bread and…
MANGIAMO!!!!!!!!!!
Slim Man Cooks Asparagus and Portobello Sauce
The first time I saw Mombo was when he pulled up in an old VW bus in a cloud of exhaust smoke and dust. He got out holding two large paper bags and said, “Anybody hungry?”Two of my favorite words.The night before, the Slim Men had played at the State Theater in Modesto, California. I had never been to Modesto before.The radio station there was playing a lot of songs from the first Slim Man CD - End of the Rainbow. I called up the radio station to see if there were any places to play in Modesto. They told me about John Griswold.John was, and still is, a valiant promoter of the arts. I called up John and he booked me – sight unseen – at the State Theater, a timeless Art-Deco movie theater that had been renovated. It was beautiful, with red velvet seats, a big wooden stage, and a balcony overlooking everything. The first Slim Man show there was a blast.After the show, a young lady came up to me and said,“My husband plays percussion. He’s really good. You should have him play with you sometime.”I looked at the sparkle in her eye and said,“Tell him to show up in Sacramento tomorrow. We’ve got a show there.”The next afternoon, at the Cal-Expo State Fair in Sacramento, a VW bus pulled up. A large Mexican-American man got out, introduced himself, and asked us if we were hungry. We went into the dressing room, which was a small trailer to the side of the stage.Mombo pulled out some burritos the size of footballs. John E Coale, the faithful Slim Man drummer, and Rick O’Rick, loyal Slim Man keyboard player, looked at the huge burritos.We ate. Mombo had made the burritos himself. They were delicious. Turns out Mombo owned a small restaurant in a nearby town called Lodi. After we finished the burritos, we went out to do our sound check. Mombo set up his congas and bongos, and we, the Slim Men, did our sound check. Mombo sounded good. Really good.The year was 1996. Those first few Slim Man Tours were pretty crazy--we were on a real tight budget. It was basically Johnny, Rick and I traveling around the USA in an Isuzu Rodeo, packed to the max with all our gear. We’d add a sax player, a trumpet player or a percussionist wherever we went.It’s always an adventure when you go on stage with someone you’ve never played with before, but from the first note, Mombo played his heart out. He fit in like he’d been playing with us from day one. Mombo has played just about every gig the Slim Men have done in California since then.
I learned two things that night. One was to keep an open mind – you never know who you might meet.The other thing I learned was - don’t eat a burrito the size of a football before a big show. Wow! There was enough gas on stage to get us halfway across the country. Mamma mia!Mombo and I became great friends. A man who loves music and cooking? What's not to love? His wife, Kim (I call her Kimbo) and their two daughters have a special place in the Slim Heart. To this day, we all keep in touch on a regular basis.This great friendship happened because Kimbo had the guts to ask me if Mombo could play with us. I took a chance on an unknown guy and it paid off big. John Griswold took a chance on an unknown band named Slim Man, and John and I have become true blue amigos. It all worked out magnificently. Better than I ever could have asked for.Mombo and Kimbo have a great relationship. They met when they were teenagers. They have a wonderful marriage. How wonderful, you ask?One time Mombo and I were in an outdoor hot tub at a swanky resort after a Slim Man show. Two young, pretty girls walked over to the hot tub and asked if they could join us. I had never met them before, had never seen them before. Mombo said, “Sure.”They took off all their clothes and got in. Naked babes in a hot tub! Mombo started chatting it up with these girls like they were in line at a Starbucks. I felt guilty and I wasn’t even doing anything wrong; but then I feel guilty all day everyday even when I don’t do anything wrong.Mombo and I had our swimsuits on. They stayed on. But still, I felt pangs of guilt. All we did was chat and relax. Afterwards, they toweled off, got dressed and left. The next day, I saw Mombo and asked him what he wanted me to say if Kimbo asked me about last night.“I already told her.”What?!?“Yeah. Why not? Nothing happened.”Why shouldn’t he tell her? Mombo hadn’t done anything wrong. Kimbo trusted Mombo.Then I remembered a song, the lyrics went something like, “It’s all about love, it’s all about trust.”I think it was a song called “Faith in Us.”ASPARAGUS AND PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM SAUCE
This sauce would be great in a burrito. An Italian burrito!Why does asparagus make your pee smell funny? I don’t know. It’s weird.When the first Slim Man CD--End of the Rainbow--was released, we got invited to dinner at this very cool and stylish restaurant in San Francisco. The single “Faith in Us” was in the Top Ten. We had just done a really successful show at the prestigious American Music Hall. And now the boys in the band were having dinner with Kent and Keith Zimmerman.Keith and Kent are twins. They were editors at a music magazine called Gavin Report, a magazine that tagged me as “A male Sade” a quote that I love because Sade is one of my favorite artists. Kent and Keith are very talented big-time writers. I read their book about Sonny Barger, the guy who started the Hell’s Angels motorcycle club. It’s really good. They just finished a book about Earth, Wind and Fire.At this restaurant in San Francisco, I had a dish of pasta with asparagus and portobello mushrooms, but it was missing something. Know what it was missing? Me! I had to Slimmify it. So when I got back to the Slim Shack I created this dish – now one of my favorites. It took me a while to get it just right.I added some Gorgonzola cheese, which is a blue cheese from Italy. If you don’t like Gorgonzola, you can substitute another creamy cheese, like goat cheese. If you don’t like cheese, leave it out!I also use toasted chopped walnuts, which go well with the asparagus and portobello mushrooms. Chop up your nuts, put them in a dry pan over medium-high heat, and shake and toast until brown.To prepare the mushrooms, rinse thoroughly. Remove the stems. Peel the skin from the top of the caps and discard. Slice into bite-sized pieces.To prepare the asparagus, grab the bottom of a spear with the thumb and forefinger of one hand. Grab the top of the spear with the thumb and forefinger of your other hand. Bend in an arc until it breaks, Discard the lower stalk. Chop the remaining stalk into small pieces, about an inch long. Leave the asparagus head whole. Do this with the entire bunch of asparagus. Rinse well, pat dry with paper towels.INGREDIENTS
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus a tablespoon for the pasta5 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped (about 2 tablespoons)Crushed red pepper (I start with ¼ teaspoon)3 cups portobello mushrooms, prepared as instructed above3 cups asparagus, prepared as instructed above½ cup vegetable broth (or chicken)½ cup dry white wine1 pound farfalle pasta (penne rigate would also work well)½ cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese (¼ for the pasta, and ¼ cup for topping off each dish)½ cup walnuts, toasted in a dry pan over medium-high heatKosher saltFor the pastaGet a large pot; fill it with the coldest water you got, put it on your highest heat. Why cold water? Hot water tastes weird, maybe because it’s been sitting in the hot water heater.As the water comes to a boil –Make your sauceIn a large saucepan, add the olive oil over medium-low heat.Add the garlic and the crushed red pepper.Cook for 5 minutes until the garlic is pale gold.Add the portobello mushrooms.Cook for 5 minutes, stir every so often.Add the asparagus.Add the broth and the wine. Turn the heat to high.When it comes to a boil, reduce the heat to medium-low.Cook until the asparagus and mushrooms are tender, about 5 to 7 minutes or so.NOTE! The thinner the asparagus, the less time it will take to cook.Taste for salt and pepper and adjust.Remove from heat.Back to the PastaWhen the water comes to a boil add 2 tablespoons of kosher salt. Add your pound of pasta.Follow the instructions on the box. Two minutes before it’s supposed to be done, taste a piece of pasta. If it is chalky in the center, it is not done. Cook until it is not chalky or chewy. Check every 2 minutes. it might take longer than the instructions. When the pasta is al dente, firm to the bite, drain it in a colander.Put the pasta in a large bowl, add a tablespoon of olive oil, and mick ‘em up.Take about 2/3 of the asparagus portobello sauce and add it to the pasta, and mix.Add ¼ cup of the Gorgonzola (or whatever cheese you choose) to the pasta, mick’ em up.Dish it up! Put some pasta on a dish. Add a dollop of sauce on top, add a sprinkle of Gorgonzola (or whatever cheese you want) and a sprinkle of toasted walnuts and…
MANGIAMO!!!!!!!!
Slim Man Cooks Eggplant Parmigiana
My old apartment had three bowling alleys in it. They were built in the 1930s and were a bit dilapidated. The balls and pins were made of wood, and they weren’t in the best of shape. But you could play a game, if you didn’t mind setting up the pins after each shot.There were two grass tennis courts out back, and they, too, were dilapidated. Overgrown. You could play a set if you brought a machete.The house was huge. It had a fireplace on the first floor that could hold a Volkswagen.The house belonged to Peggy Waxter. She was outspoken, feisty, cynical, and almost 100 years old. Peggy lived upstairs, and I lived downstairs with my dog, Batu. Peggy was hard-of-hearing. On her 100th birthday, her son gave her a present. They were on the screened-in porch upstairs; I was on the patio beneath them. I could hear the son yelling,“Mom! I got you a present!”Silence.“Mom! Open it up!”Silence. Then I could hear her opening the wrapping paper.“Mom! It’s a hearing aid!”Silence.“Mom! What do you think? IT’S A HEARING AID!”Silence. And then Peggy spoke softly,“I’m a hundred years old. I’ve heard enough.”The house used to be a country club called Stoney Run Club. Peggy and her husband bought it, and did some minor renovations — like adding bedrooms — but it still felt and looked like a small old country club.
The apartment downstairs must have been an old clubroom. There were the bowling alleys on the side, a large main room with a fireplace, and a huge patio that overlooked the overgrown tennis courts. You entered the apartment through a big screen door in the kitchen. The kitchen was great; lots of large windows, a big antique sink, and old wood countertops. It had a small four-burner stove in the corner that worked like a charm.Batu and I started making cooking videos in that little kitchen. I’d whip up a dish, shoot video, take photos and write down the recipe. I’d take Peggy a plate once in a while. I’d go up the ancient wooden staircase, past the moldy bookcases, take her a plate, and have a chat and a chew.Roland Park is wonderful neighborhood. The grocery store, Eddie’s, has been there for 70 years. It’s an old family store that has a guy who opens the door for you when you walk in and out. The hardware store, Schneider’s, has been there for more than a 100 years. The pharmacy (Tuxedo) has been there more than 75 years.It’s that kind of neighborhood. Big old Victorian houses, big old trees, and it’s right in the middle of Baltimore City. I went to school in Roland Park. I’ve always loved the neighborhood. I loved that apartment. So did Batu. It was my favorite place to live. And I adored Peggy.The Baltimore Sun newspaper called her “peppery.” She was not afraid to speak her mind. She was named one of the Top Ten Most Powerful Women In Baltimore by Baltimore Magazine. Not that she was impressed by that. She once said,“I’m the most-honored person who has never graduated from a school.”Her husband, Thomas, graduated from a couple of schools including Princeton and Yale. Peggy and Thomas came from money and they both dedicated their lives to helping “poor people.” That’s the way she put it.“He was the most important man in Maryland,” Peggy Waxter once said about Thomas. “He loved the poor people, and he went to Annapolis and fought for them.”When he died in 1962, Peggy harnessed her grief, and focused on community action. She fought for women’s rights and civil rights. She once got pissed off that a big department store in downtown Baltimore wouldn’t allow black people to try clothes on. So Peggy took a black friend and went shopping there. They tried on clothes. They didn’t get arrested, but it brought attention to the situation, and it changed soon after.At 100 years old, Peggy got around pretty well. She used a walker, but she got around. Whenever she had a problem, she’d bang her cane on the floor, and I’d come up and help.
Once a year, in late September, I’d grab Batu, and we’d head to Ocean City, Maryland. My uncle Oscar had a small apartment overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. He’d let the family use it for vacations. September is a great time of year to go – no crowds, no traffic, the weather and the water still warm.I’d hang out for a week or so; bodysurf, fly my kites, cook, eat, drink, write, play guitar. And then I’d lock up the joint and head back to 
Baltimore.I was driving home from the beach one early evening, Batu was in the back, I was listening to the Orioles and the Yankees baseball game on the AM radio. I stopped at a roadside stand and picked out two large, ripe and lovely home-grown tomatoes and an eggplant. I drove home, crossing the Bay Bridge as the sun went down. It was late when I got back to Roland Park.The next morning I heard that Peggy had passed away. She was 103. I was shaken.That day I was scheduled to mail out the new Slim Man CD single to 175 radio stations around the country. I stuffed 175 CD singles of “Every Time It Rains” into 175 envelopes and went to the post office.The post office was a little old brick building in the heart of Roland Park. I was friends with all the clerks. They used to let me bring Batu inside. Some of them would even come out to Slim Shows. I dropped off my 175 CDs and they mailed them off.I got home from the post office and needed to cook. I was really sad. I was gonna miss Peggy. I looked at the tomatoes and eggplant that I had picked up from the produce stand on the way home from Ocean City. What do you do with tomatoes and eggplant?You make Eggplant Parmigiana.After Peggy died, her son sold her house for half of what it was worth-he just wanted to get rid of it. Batu and I had to move in a hurry, in the dead of winter, right after Christmas. As I was going through my stuff, I came across a card Peggy had given me for my birthday.“Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die.”Love, Peggy.EGGPLANT PARMIGIANA
If I have some amazing homegrown tomatoes, I’ll use them to make a sauce. I chop ‘em up, and remove any stems or blemishes.But I usually use Italian tomatoes in a can. San Marzano tomatoes are best. Most cans are 28 ounces, which is about 3 or 4 cups. Open the can, put the tomatoes in a bowl, and smoosh ‘em up by hand, removing any stems, cores, or blemishes.Some folks fry the eggplant slices first, some folks bake ‘em. I’ve done it both ways. In the video, I fry the eggplant.But baking is now by far my favorite; it makes the dish much lighter. Eggplant throws off a lot of liquid. But when you bake it, the liquid evaporates, so you don’t have to salt the eggplant and drain it, which is a pain.Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.INGREDIENTSYou’ll need 3 cups of tomato sauce, you can use bottled sauce—but I make my own, here’s how:2 tablespoons olive oil6 cloves of garlic, sliced thin (about 2 tablespoons)Crushed red pepper (I start off with ¼ teaspoon)4 cups of tomatoes, fresh or canned (I use 1 twenty-eight ounce can of whole, peeled Italian tomatoes)Fresh basil leaves about 1/2 cupKosher SaltHere we go…The SaucePut a large sauté pan over medium-low heat.Add the olive oil, the sliced garlic and the crushed red pepper.Cook until golden, 3 to 5 minutes.Add the 4 cups of tomatoes – canned or fresh.Add some salt, and stir.Put the heat on high.When the sauce comes to a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer.Take half the basil leaves, and tear or snip them with scissors into the sauce. Stir.Cook for 20 minutes, stir often.Then, taste for salt and red pepper and adjust.Take the rest of the basil leaves, and snip them into the sauce.Remove from heat.You might not use all this sauce for the eggplant parmigiana.INGREDIENTS The Eggplant3 small eggplant3 eggs3 cups Panko breadcrumbs, or whatever breadcrumbs you likeOPTIONAL: ¼ cup olive oil (if you’re frying, rather than baking)A handful of fresh basil (3/4 cup)1 pound of mozzarella, two large balls sliced into ¼ inch circular slices1 generous cup Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, freshly grated, plus some for sprinklingKosher saltFresh cracked pepperHere we go!Slice off the ends of the eggplant, and cut the eggplant into circular slices, about ½ inch thick.Take the eggs, beat ‘em in a bowl, add salt and pepper.Take your breadcrumbs, put ‘em on a flat plate.Dip an eggplant slice in the beaten egg, let the excess drip off.Dip it in the breadcrumbs. Coat both sides. Do all the eggplant slices like this.If you’re baking, put them in a nonstick baking pan, and stick ‘em in the oven at 375 degrees until golden brown, about 12 to 15 minutes or so. Then, flip them over and bake for another 12 to 15 minutes until golden brown.If you’re frying, put the olive oil over medium heat, and fry on both sides until golden, about 4 minutes a side, then put the slices on paper towels when done.In the bottom of a baking dish (I used a 9”X13” glass baking dish), add a layer of baked/fried eggplant. Then add a cup of tomato sauce, spreading it out evenly. Then add some basil, about ¼ cup — snip the leaves with a scissors or tear them with your fingers.Then take a 1/3 cup of freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, and spread it on top. And then add a layer of sliced mozzarella, about a third of what you have (1/3 pound).Go back, Jack, do it again - a layer of eggplant, a layer of sauce, a layer of basil, a layer of Parmigiano, and a layer of mozzarella.Do three layers. Sprinkle the top of the final layer of mozzarella with grated Parmigiano and a few breadcrumbs.
Put the eggplant Parmigiano in the oven. Let it cook for about 25 minutes.Then, put the broiler on high, and put the baking dish underneath the broiler for just a quick minute, to brown the top. Keep a close eye on this! When the top browns, take out the dish.If there is any excess liquid in the bottom of the pan, use a turkey baster to remove it.
Let the eggplant sit for a couple minutes. Then…Dish it up! Make it look nice, put some freshly torn basil leaves on top, add some freshly grated Parmigiano, and…MANGIAMO!!!!
Slim Man Cooks Roasted Potatoes with Rosemary and Garlic
I got a call from Joyce. I was in Nashville, Tennessee. Music City USA. She was in Austin, Texas. She asked me if I could be an extra on the TV show ‘Nashville’. They had seen my photos online. I told her I’d think about it.I’d been an extra before on a Hugh Grant/Drew Barrymore movie in Manhattan, and it was quite an experience—a lot of waiting around, a lot of shooting the same scene a million times—but not something I felt like doing again. Not for $84, which is what I got paid for that 12 hour day.But Joyce kept calling me. She called and told me the director liked my look. She called and told me the shoot wasn't far from the Slim Shack. She called me so often, I felt like I was married. I finally told her I’d do the show. Joyce made me feel special. Plus, maybe the director would see me and cast me in a starring role in an upcoming episode...'Guinea Guy meets Cowgirl', or 'Mob Guy takes over Country Music Biz.' Could happen...Joyce sent me an email telling me to dress like I was going to the Grammys. The scene we were shooting was going to be a Country Music Awards show, and they wanted us dressed in evening clothes.The next morning, I drove from the Slim Shack in the Green Hills section of Nashville to the Tennessee Titans football stadium, which is downtown by the Cumberland River. I checked in to the extras 'holding' area, which was on the club level of the stadium. There were a couple hundred people there…So much for feeling special.The women extras were dressed in cocktail gowns and high heels and up-dos, and they looked great. Lovely. I’ve said this once, and I’ll say it again…in the history of the world, Lady Peoples have never looked better than they do today…the hair, the skin, the nails, the…everything.It was early in the morning. The gals, the guys...everybody was dressed in evening wear. Everyone except me. I wore a military jacket. It kinda looked like evening wear....if you were an officer in the Russian army at a ballroom dance in the 1800s.They put out a breakfast buffet, and after about an hour, we well-dressed extras--men and women--left the stadium, got on a big old school bus, and headed to the General Jackson, an old steamboat docked on the Cumberland River, next to the stadium.We boarded the steamboat, and went into the concert area--a ballroom on the first level that was decked out with a big raised stage. Tall cocktail tables were scattered around, and there was a second-floor balcony overlooking the whole scene.
The assistant director stood up, got everybody’s attention, and then described the scene we were about to shoot. An older female country singer, Rayna James, and her young rival, Juliette, are nominated for the same country music award—Female Vocalist of the Year. Juliette—played by Hayden Panettiere—shows up on the steamboat drunk, and does her new song on stage, all liquored up.That was the scene. We extras were the audience members, and we were directed to be puzzled by Hayden's drunken stumblings. The cameras started rolling…Action!Hayden/Juliette came out and sang her song. I’ll admit this—it was a really good song. I liked it.But I didn't like it so much after hearing it for five hours straight. They shot the scene over and over again. Every time they changed an angle, they'd have to re-position the lights. Re-position the cameras. And then everybody--extras and actors--would have to go back to the exact same spots, and do the exact same thing. They did a bunch of takes--five hours worth. Then Director Dude told us to take a break. We went up to a room on the third floor of the boat, where they had a folding table laid out with…Two big tubs of Costco peanut butter and jelly, loaves of bread, Tootsie Pops, and Goldfish crackers.It was a nice lunch--if you were in kindergarden. After about an hour, we went back down to the concert area and shot the same scene…over and over again. After about five more hours—at around 10 PM--we broke for dinner.We went back to the Titans stadium to the club level, and they had a big spread of food—lasagna, salad, fish, desserts. It wasn’t so bad. Better than PBJ…
After dinner, it was back to the boat. We waited and waited in an empty banquet hall. After a few hours, the assistant director walked in, and started looking over the extras. Then he looked at me and pointed his finger. I went over to where he was standing. He said…“We need a guy to play a slick record executive type, an older guy. Are you interested?”When he said “older guy” I felt like arm-wrestling the young whippersnapper to the ground and kicking his ass. But I just said “yes”.He walked me upstairs to where they were shooting the scene. It was being shot on the open-air top deck, which was spiffed up with lights and flowers and had a lovely view of downtown Nashville. It was freezing. I stood in a small group of people, and the prop guy handed me a glass of champagne…Joy. Except it wasn’t champagne, it was ginger ale. The director came over and told me what the scene was…one of the stars of the show, Scarlett, was coming over to talk to this small group of four folks, and I was supposed to have a fake conversation with this girl standing in front of me.Fake conversation? The director wanted me to move my lips, but not make any sound. They'd overdub the voices later. Plus, they have to pay you extra if you talk. So I had a fake conversation with my fake glass of champagne with this really good-looking girl.We finally wrapped up around 2:30 AM. We had been on the set for almost seventeen hours. Must have been hell for the girls in heels.Before we left, they instructed us to come back fifteen hours later--at 6 PM. A lot of folks didn’t show up. I did. I wanted some more peanut butter and jelly, which they had waiting for us when we arrived. Joy. It was freezing again, but this time I wore my Under Armour thermals. Really.We did another scene on the steamboat--the red carpet scene, where the BigWigs arrive at the awards party to check-in.The assistant director paired me up with two gals. They were gorgeous. We shot the ‘entering the awards party’ scene a bunch of times. I didn’t mind so much…
After a couple hours of shooting, we broke for dinner. About an hour later, we went back to work. We waited in a banquet room for a few hours for our next set of directions. It was 4 AM.People were nodding off. An assistant director walked into the room, came up to me and asked if I could be the “slick record executive” for the next scene. I accepted. He explained the scene:Limos pull up, pick up the BigWigs and whisk them away. Easy enough.We shot the scene outside the boat in the freezing drizzle. We shot it a bunch of times. A limo would pull up to the curb. The star of the show, Rayna James, would get in as I’m fake-talking to her manager--who gets left at the curb in the rain with Yours Truly. The limo would pull away...Once again, one scene took hours. When we wrapped, the sun was coming up. My boots were soaked and my feet were freezing. I went back home, got to the Slim Shack around 7 AM. Batu was waiting. I was starving. The only thing I had in the house?Peanut butter and jelly.
Roasted Red PotatoesAs a Manly Man, when I’m cooking for a Lady People, I have to be sensitive. I'm pretty sensitive already. It's been a common complaint from most of the Exes..."You're too sensitive."What do you say to that? "I'll try my best to be insensitive from now on?"When I'm cooking for a Slim Woman, I gotta be sensitive; make sure I don’t use butter and cream and fatty stuff. When cooking for the Lady Peoples, I don't fry--I'll bake or broil or roast. Roasted red potatoes is a good side dish when cooking for the Women Folk.You’ve got to keeps the ladies happy.Because if the ladies ain’t happy, you, my friend, ain’t happy.INGREDIENTS3 pounds small red potatoes¼ cup olive oil1 ½ tablespoons minced garlic3 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary, plus a few sprigsKosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper to tasteHere we go...Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.Cut the potatoes in halves or quarters, depending how big yer taters are.Put them in a large bowl.Add the olive oil, and mix by hand, making sure they’re all coated.Add the rosemary and garlic, and mix again.Place them on a baking tray covered with aluminum foil (this be easier to clean that way).Sprinkle with salt and fresh cracked black pepper, then turn them over and sprinkle on the other side.Put the potatoes in the oven on the middle rack.Bake for 25 minutes.After 25 minutes, flip ‘em over with a spatula.Roast for another 25 minutes. Stick them with a fork--if it goes in easily, they're done. If not, put 'em back in the oven until they are.Plate ‘em up! Make ‘em look nice, add a sprig or two of fresh rosemary, and…
MANGIAMO!!
Slim Man Cooks Codfish Cakes
I had let Batu out into the back yard like I had done a thousand times before. But this time, when I called him, he didn’t come. I had just had arthroscopic knee surgery.I went outside and called Batu’s name again and again. Nothing. So I started looking. I grabbed my crutches, and started hopping around the neighborhood like a fool, looking everywhere. I ended up walking for miles. I started to panic as night fell. I had no idea where he was, or what had happened.Batu is not a street dog. He doesn’t know about cars and traffic, or anything like that. He did have a bright red collar with my name and number on it, but nobody called. As night fell, I started making calls to every shelter, every vet, and every place I could think of.Nobody had seen him. Batu is hard to miss. He’s a unique looking dog. He’s a bull terrier; there are only about 1,500 in the U.S. I hardly slept that night. So I got up and made a poster. I put them all over town – Baltimore, Maryland. I lived in the city, in a neighborhood called Roland Park. The house had a creek out back, with woods and a trail. There was a tiny alley in front of the house.
I put up posters everywhere. I started out close to the house, and kept widening the circle. I put up posters on every telephone pole, grocery store, and 7-11 I could find.No calls.That second night was hell. I checked my phone a thousand times.I had no idea what had happened to Batu. A neighbor told me she heard he got hit by a car in the alley and had bolted into the woods.Finally somebody called. They told me they got the number from Batu’s collar. My heart soared.Until they told me Batu was not attached to the collar. They had found the collar in a shopping mall three miles away. Somehow, the collar had fallen off his neck. They got my number off his dog tag, which was still attached to the collar. My heart sank.I got on my bike and rode over to where the collar had been found, and started calling his name, handing out flyers to anyone who would take them, posting them anywhere I could. That night, the third night, I couldn’t sleep. I got on my bike. I grabbed a flashlight. I started riding around, calling out his name.“Batu!”I’m surprised I didn’t get shot. I love Baltimore, but the murder rate is fairly high, and that rate gets higher when you have a crazy person riding around on a bike at 2 AM, screaming "Batu!" in the dead of night.Still there was no sign of Batu. I was sick with panic — it was an extremely hot summer, and Batu didn’t do well in the heat. Plus, he had a heart condition – an enlarged heart. He was on medication, medication that he needed.I called pet detectives, including Sherlock Bones (true). I called pet psychics. I called every shelter and every vet over and over. I even rented a large animal trap and put it where Batu was last seen. I put up more posters. I placed classified ads.Two girls called me up, Rebecca and Angela. They saw one of my posters and offered to help. It was clear that these two attractive young ladies loved dogs, and somehow felt a connection to Batu. We started canvassing the city. We coordinated our efforts. We went neighborhood by neighborhood. We drove. We walked. We biked.Still no Batu. It was now four days.Every vet, every pet detective, every professional dog person I contacted told me that after three days, I might as well give up hope. Hardly any dogs are recovered after that long. It didn’t stop me from looking. I tried twice as hard. I went to the best neighborhoods, where there were only mansions. I went to the worst neighborhoods, where there were only crack houses. Seriously.In both places I got funny looks – a crippled white guy on a bike handing out flyers offering a reward for a missing dog. I didn’t care.Rebecca and Angela were in constant contact. They helped whenever they could. We were becoming friends. But there was still no Batu. I was terrified. Five days with no food, no water, and without his medicine. I searched high and low. Night and day. I lost ten pounds. I was limping from my operation. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep.When Angela and Rebecca got off work, they’d help me search. Six days turned into seven days as time crawled by. I was depressed and desperate. I called my friend, Tim, who was a meteorologist at the local TV station. He made a mention on the air.
Day eight. I got a call that night. Someone had seen Batu in their yard in Guilford, one of the nicest neighborhoods in Baltimore, about three miles from the Slim Shack. I drove like James Bond over to the sighting. Rebecca and Angela met me there. We looked behind the house and there was Batu. I called out his name.He bolted. Took off like a cheetah. We chased after him. He got away. We looked for hours. Angela and Rebecca went home. I kept looking until dawn. Then, I went back to the Slim Shack, printed up more posters, and papered all of Guilford.I’m surprised I didn’t get arrested. But I didn’t give a shit.After that, I went back to the shack and crashed. I hadn’t slept in days. Then my phone rang. It was Baltimore City Councilwoman Maggie McIntosh. She introduced herself, and then told me she had seen Batu in her neighbor’s backyard in Guilford. I jumped in my Jeep and burned rubber.When I got to the house, Maggie McIntosh was there. She pointed to the neighbor’s backyard. There was an iron fence around the yard. Batu was inside. How he got in is still a mystery.I called his name. He didn’t even know who I was. But when I held out one of his treats, he came running. I loaded him into the Jeep.Batu ate the whole box of biscuits. No wonder. It had been nine days. No food, no water and no medicine. I called Rebecca and Angela. They met me at the Slim Shack. We had a little party. We drank, we laughed, we cried, and we danced.Actually, it was Angela who danced. Turns out, this really attractive, sexy, dog-loving Italian babe was also a belly dancer. Madonna mia. So many prayers answered in one day!After our little celebration, I took Batu to the hospital. They put him in the DICU, the Doggy Intensive Care Unit for four days. He was emaciated, dehydrated, malnourished, had some internal injuries. He really needed Intensive Care.So did I when I got the bill. It was almost four grand. My cousin helped me out.And here’s how it all ended…
Batu got well, and he’s still doing great, seven years later.Rebecca confessed to me that she was gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Some of my best friends are gay. What a doll!And Angela, well I had a secret crush on her. But, I was involved, and she was involved, then I got uninvolved, and she got more involved, and eventually she got married.I send Rebecca and Angela Christmas cards every year. Hope they still live in the same houses!Whenever I think I’m down on my luck, I remind myself of this story.Whenever I think a situation is hopeless, I remember this story.Whenever I think of giving up, I remember this story.SLIM MAN’S COD PIECES
In Baltimore, where I spent most of my Slim Boyhood, almost every little grocery store had coddies –codfish cakes—on the counter by the cash register. The two ingredients were codfish and mashed potatoes. The coddies were displayed on a tray, along with Saltine crackers and plain yellow mustard.I loved ‘em.When codfish went on sale a few weeks ago at the local grocery store near Slim’s Shady Trailer Park in Palm Springs, California, I thought it would be a great time to create my own codfish cake recipe. I call my new creation…Slim Man’s Cod Pieces.INGREDIENTS6 cups water3 medium Yukon gold potatoes, cut into 2-inch cubes (about 2 cups)1 pound codfish filet, skinless, cut into 2-inch cubes (about 2 cups)2 tablespoons butterKosher saltFresh cracked pepper4 tablespoons olive oil1 tablespoon minced garlic2 tablespoons minced shallot1 tablespoon chopped rosemary1 egg½ cup of panko breadcrumbs (I used Progresso Panko Italian Style)Flour (1/2 cup should do)Here We Go…
Get a large pot, put in 6 cups of water or so, and put it on the highest heat. Put the taters in the water and let them cook as the water comes to a boil.When almost tender — it took mine about 10 minutes after the water came to a boil — add the fish cubes. That’s right, put the fish right in the boiling water with the potatoes.Cook for 5 minutes.
Drain in a colander.Put the fish and the potatoes in a bowl, add 1 tablespoon of butter, and salt and pepper, and mash coarsely. Keep it chunky! If it’s too smooth, the codfish cakes won’t fry right.Let it sit until it’s warm to the touch.As it cools, get a sauté pan and put it over medium heat. I used a 10-inch pan.Add 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil.When the butter starts to bubble, add the garlic and shallot.Sauté for 3 minutes until the shallots are clear and the garlic is pale gold.Add the rosemary and stir a few times.Cook for 2 minutes.Take the shallot/garlic/rosemary mixture that’s in the pan and add it to the codfish and potatoes.Mix it up.Grab your egg, put it in a bowl, and beat it.Add it to the codfish and taters, and mix.Add the breadcrumbs and mix by hand.If the mixture is too liquid, add more breadcrumbs.When the mixture feels right — not too wet, not too dry – make cakes.I like my cakes about the size of a tangerine. This recipe yielded 8 codfish cakes.Put the codfish cakes on a plate.Take the sauté pan that you used for the garlic/shallots/rosemary.Put it over medium-high heat.Add 3 tablespoons of olive oil.As the oil heats up, get a flat plate, and put the flour on it.Lightly dredge each codfish cake in the flour. Make sure each side is lightly dusted with flour.When the olive oil is hot, put the cakes in the pan, and sauté for 3 minutes, until the bottoms are golden brown.Flip ‘em over — be gentle – and cook on the other side for 3 minutes, until golden brown.Place on paper towels when done.Serve with spicy brown mustard, or plain old yellow mustard like we used to do in Bawlmer!In Bawlmer, they eat them on saltine crackers. I like ‘em plain—but what the hell do I know?
MANGIAMO!
Slim Man Cooks Salmoriglio Sauce for Fish
Back in the mid-1990s, a guy named Art Good – a jazz DJ and promoter – organized a Christmas tour, and asked me to join. Peter White was on guitar, Freddie Ravel on piano, and Paul Taylor on sax. Most of these guys started off as sidemen with other bands — Al Jarreau, Earth Wind and Fire, Al Stewart.Peter White played guitar on the Al Stewart song “The Year of the Cat,” which I liked to call “The Year I Got Fat.”I agreed to do the tour, but was a reluctant participant. I didn’t know a lot of Christmas music. I didn’t know any of the guys in the band. I wasn’t looking forward to being away from the Slim Shack for the month of December.When the tour started, I was just counting off the days, like a convict waiting for his release.I didn’t really get into the swing of things until about halfway through the tour, when we did a concert at the Timberline Lodge in Mount Hood, Oregon. It looks like a haunted castle, and was featured in the horror movie The Shining with Jack Nicholson. Heeeeere’s Johnny!The snowdrifts outside were six feet tall. The fireplace inside was big enough to cook a moose. The interior of the lodge was stone and wood; the band was set-up on a small stage, and folks were gathered around.The fire was roaring, the eggnog was pouring, the lights were twinkling, and we started playing Christmas songs. Peter White was the ringleader. It was a magical show, if I do say so myself. We closed with “White Christmas”; people started singing along, it began to snow, and I thought Bing Crosby was gonna walk out on stage and start crooning,“May your legs be hairy and white, and may all your Christmases be white!”The Christmas Spirit. It hit me right between the eyes that night. Bing! When I finished the tour, I decided to do a Christmas CD.I recorded the first Slim Christmas CD, All I Want for Christmas, in the home studio at the Slim Shack. It was the first time I’d had my own studio, and I was loving it. Being able to record any time, day or night was luxurious.
The first person I asked to play on the first Slim Christmas CD was Herb Alpert. I loved the albums he did with the Tijuana Brass. I played trumpet along with those records when I was a kid, and thought it would be great to have Herb play on a song or two. I got a rejection letter in the mail. It was a “Thanks, but no thanks” letter. I got Randy Brecker from the Brecker Brothers to play instead. He did a great job on "Christmas Time Is Here."I asked Peter White to play guitar on “White Christmas”– what else?I sent the song to Peter in LA, and he sent back his guitar tracks. They sounded great. Except I kept hearing an alarm going off in the intro of the song … beep-beep-beep-beep. I thought maybe I was going crazy — well, crazier — until I played Peter’s guitar track all by itself.You could hear his electronic watch beeping, clear as day. There was nothing I could do to get rid of it. So, if you’re listening to “White Christmas” and you hear an alarm beeping, don’t get alarmed.A few years later, when I decided to do a second Slim Christmas CD, I knew exactly what I wanted to call it. Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve was always the Big Deal with the Slim Family. My uncle Oscar threw the best Christmas Eve parties.I had a title for the CD, now what? I didn’t have a home studio anymore — I had moved. I was still living in Baltimore, Maryland, but I was in this wonderful apartment in an old mansion in Roland Park with three bowling alleys off to the side.But no studio.I called up my true blue amigo Marc Antoine. He has a really nice studio in his house in Madrid. He invited me over. It was an overnight flight. I didn’t sleep a wink. I have a hard time sleeping on airplanes; I’m afraid I might nod off and my sleep apnea will cause some nasty turbulence.Marc picked me up at the airport, and we drove right to a coffee shop in his small village outside Madrid. It was nine in the morning. He ordered two Liquore d’Hierbas.Liquore d’Hierbas is a strong, boozy beverage made from herbs. What kind of herbs? I didn’t know, and didn’t want to know.
The bartender put a couple pieces of ice in a brandy snifter and poured what looked like antifreeze over the cubes. I took a sip. It tasted like cough syrup, smelled like old hedge-clippings, and had a punch like Muhammad Ali.It knocked me out. The rest of the day was a haze.The next morning, I woke up in the guest bedroom at Marc’s house. I felt great. There was no blood, no bullet holes or knife wounds. I still had most of my money. All was good. I walked downstairs to the basement studio.The sound that was coming out of the speakers brought tears to my eyes. Or maybe it was the pounding in my head that made me weepy. Either way, it was soon obvious that Marc had been working all night on guitar parts. What a wonderful present. It was like waking up on Christmas morning.Except it was July and 100 degrees outside. Madrid was in the middle of a heat wave.
Marc played guitar on a whole bunch of songs on the Christmas Eve CD. My favorite? “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” His guitar playing is singular on that tune. Stellar, even.Now all I needed was a woman to do the duet with.I flew back to Baltimore. I was in the kitchen, cooking and listening to Christmas music, when I heard a gal’s voice coming from my speakers. She sounded great, kinda girlish, reminded me of Ella Fitzgerald, with a hint of Rickie Lee Jones.I looked at the CD; it was an old Christmas compilation that had a song of mine—“All I Want for Christmas”--on it. I had never listened to the CD. I looked at the credits to see who the girl singer was. Antonia Bennett. I did some digging on the Internet, and found out who she was. Her Dad was a singer, a guy named Tony Bennett.I reached out to Antonia’s manager. He put me in touch with her. I called Antonia and told her what I wanted. I wanted to do the duet, but I wanted to sing the part that’s usually sung by the woman, and I wanted her to sing the part that’s usually sung by the man. She liked my Big Idea.I booked a studio on 57th Street in New York, a vintage analog studio where Ella Fitzgerald had recorded. The engineer set up two microphones facing each other. Antonio sang looking at me, and I sang looking at her, the way they used to back in the old days."Baby, It’s Cold Outside."We only did a few takes. I could have stayed there for another hour or ten. Antonia has a wonderful voice, and beautiful blue eyes and long red wavy hair.The engineer told us he had what he needed, and loved what we did. He suggested Antonia and I go out for a drink, and come back when he was done doing what engineers do. Antonia and I went to the Trattoria dell’Arte, an Italian place down the street, across from the old Motown offices and Carnegie Hall. We had a few drinks, had a chat, and went back to the studio.We listened to the song. It sounded better than I ever could have imagined.Antonia and I walked outside, and said our goodbyes. I hailed her a cab, and then drove back to Baltimore.I decided to do a video for the title track. I borrowed Oscar’s Dean Martin dolls. He had two Dino Dolls, you pressed a button on the base, and they would sing and dance.
Batu and I drove from Baltimore to Ocean City, Maryland. It was late July, the dead of summer. My friend Clubby Clubb had a house on the bay with a big fireplace. We started a raging fire in that fireplace, and started filming the "Christmas Eve" video right in front. We did dozens of takes.Batu was in almost every shot.I had on a white velvet tux jacket. I was drenched in sweat. Batu was panting like crazy. It was hot as hell outside and in. I was hoping and praying that Oscar’s Dino dolls wouldn’t catch fire.The video took all day, but we got the footage we needed.I put the video on YouTube in October, 2008. It got 20,000 hits in the first few days.Probably because Batu was singing in the video.Who doesn’t love a singing dog?Slim Man Cooks Salmoriglio Sauce
One of the Slim Exes didn’t like anything that was fried or sautéed. She didn’t like anything that had butter in it. She loved salmon, though. She ate salmon so often that she started to get an orange glow to her skin, and she became really good at swimming upstream.It was a challenge trying to cook for her. But I was determined to find a sauce that would go with salmon, and that would meet all her requirements.I created this sauce last night, and it is so good. The Slim Ex would have loved it. Too bad we broke up before I perfected it.Salmoriglio sauce is a Sicilian sauce usually used on grilled swordfish. It is a simple sauce that I managed to Slimmify. The sauce calls for white wine, but in an intense moment of inspiration, I thought it would be great to use moscato instead of white wine.Moscato is a slightly sweet Italian white wine that you can buy sparkling or flat. I used a sparkling moscato that worked so well in this sauce that I’m giving myself a gold star. And it is not expensive! Plus, you use a ¼ cup or so for this sauce, and you and your funny little honey can drink the rest. Party time!If you don’t have moscato, or would prefer something drier, use a dry white wine or Prosecco—an inexpensive Italian sparkling white wine.I used Meyer lemons, which are absolutely delicious. They are sweeter and milder than normal lemons. If you can’t find Meyer lemons, use a ripe, soft regular lemon. But I strongly suggest you seek out the Meyer lemons.The sweetness of the wine and the tartness of the lemon worked so well together.I used this sauce on baked grouper and on some seared sea bass. I used a half-pound of each. I cooked both fish at the same time, to do a little taste test. They were both delish.For the grouper, I put about a tablespoon of olive oil in a small glass baking dish. I rubbed the olive oil over the grouper, and salted and peppered both sides. I put a thin circular slice of Meyer lemon and a sprig of fresh oregano in the bottom of the dish. I placed the piece of grouper on top of the Meyer lemon and the oregano sprig.I took a couple tablespoons of moscato and added it to the bottom of the dish, and squeezed a little Meyer lemon juice into the dish—not directly on the fish—to add a little moisture while it was baking.I baked the grouper for 20 minutes at 400 degrees. It was a thick piece—about 3 inches, so it took a while. When it was done, I took it out of the oven, and spooned a little sauce over the fish. Delizioso!For the sea bass, I cut it into 3 smaller pieces, each about 3 inches square.I salted and peppered the top side. I sprinkled a LITTLE bit of brown sugar on top.I put a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil in a sauté pan over medium-high heat.When the butter started to bubble, I put the salted/peppered/sugared side down first, and cooked it for 3 minutes. As it was cooking, I sprinkled the tops of each piece with a little salt, pepper and brown sugar.After 3 minutes, I used some tongs to turn over the sea bass, and seared it on the other side for 3 minutes. Before you turn the fish over, swirl the butter and olive oil in the bottom of the pan, so you’re not placing the fish in a dry pan.When it was done, I spooned a little salmoriglio sauce over top. Wow. She was a-so nice!You can use this sauce over grilled fish as well. Baked, seared, grilled—this sauce goes well with them all! You can also use this sauce on red snapper, salmon, or any thick firm-fleshed fish you like.I roasted some beets to go along with this dish. I just cleaned them, peeled them, cut them in quarters, added a little olive oil, some salt and pepper, and roasted them in the oven for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.Slim Salmoriglio SauceINGREDIENTS
¼ cup of olive oil¼ cup of moscato wine (plus a few tablespoons for the baking dish—if you’re baking)3 tablespoons Meyer lemon juice (remove all seeds!)1 teaspoon minced garlic1 teaspoon dried oreganoA couple sprigs of fresh oregano (to place under the fish, if you’re baking, plus a few for garnish)A few circular slices of Meyer lemon (one to place under the fish if you’re baking, plus a few for garnish)Here we go…Put the first 5 ingredients in a small bowl and whisk.Put a small saucepan over high heat.Add the Slim Salmoriglio sauce to the pan.When it starts to bubble, reduce the heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes.Remove from heat.That’s it!Spoon a little over baked grouper or salmon, grilled swordfish, or seared sea bass.Use whatever fish you like!
MANGIAMO!!!