I was a teenage idiot. I did some stupid stuff when I was a teenager. Nothing horrible, just the usual stupid teenage stuff—underage drinking, staying out too late, having parties at the house when she was out-of-town. When I got older, I must have apologized to my Mom a hundred times for being such a knucklehead.I’m still doing stupid stuff. But not as frequently.As a teenager, it is required by law that you do the exact opposite of what your parents tell you to do. Your parents tell you not to smoke pot, for instance. For generations, parents have been telling their kids not to smoke pot. Does it work?No. Why not? Teenagers don’t listen.We three kids – my older brother, my younger sister and I – lived with my Mom on a dead-end street named Rosebank, in Baltimore, Maryland. When my folks divorced, my Dad went back to New York. Divorce is tough on teenagers. You don’t know who’s right, who’s wrong, what to do, or where to go.The basement at Rosebank was our haven. It was our safe place. We decided to fix it up.Uncle Oscar gave us a pool table. He had bought it for his son, Johnny. Johnny and I used to play pool at Oscar’s house. Johnny and I were close in age and close in general. He used to come see my band, Momma Max.Johnny died in an automobile accident when he was sixteen. It was so heartbreaking for the whole family. I was crushed. It was the only time I saw Oscar cry. He gave us Johnny’s pool table. It took a bunch of us kids, but we managed to get it in the basement at Rosebank.The basement walls were made of stone. Not the good-looking Hollywood kinda stone, these were stones like you’d see on the walls of ancient caves – rough and lumpy and crumbly. We whitewashed all the walls. It took a few coats, but we painted them all white. We painted the poured cement floor dark green.We got a bunch of brightly colored paints and markers and brushes and spray paints. Whenever anybody would come over – neighborhood kids, friends, cousins – we’d play pool, play music and draw on the walls. Cartoons, poetry, graffiti, drawings, portraits, quotes – the walls became this mash-up mural of collective art.It was where my band practiced. That basement should be in the Slimuseum! It once had a dirt floor and crumbling walls, and now it was all spiffed up, in a hippy-dippy way. My Mom was just glad to have everybody in one place, where she could keep an eye on us dimwits.The ceiling was really low. In certain areas, big iron water pipes hung low, and you’d have to stoop under them to avoid busting your frontal lobe. One time a friend of ours named Bruce made an incredible shot to win a game of pool. In a fit of joy, he leaped straight up, hit an iron pipe, and knocked himself unconscious.Did we help him? No. We were laughing too hard. I told ya, we were teenage idiots.My brother and I used to play tricks on our friends. They’d come over, we’d hang out in the basement, play pool, and play music. Then my brother and I would give each other a wink, and one of us would sneak out of the basement.We’d go outside and move our friends’ cars. Park ‘em down at the bottom of our dead-end street. Then we’d sneak back into the basement. When the party was over, our friends would leave, and my brother and I would wait until we heard the frantic knock on the basement door.“Dude! I can’t find my car! It’s my Dad’s! He’s gonna kill me!”My brother and I would let the terror go on for a few minutes, and then we’d laugh and tell them what we’d done. Pretty stupid stuff. Like I said, I was a teenage idiot.I think the zenith of my moronosity came when I decided to make some pot brownies. I put some pot in a blender, put in some brownie mix, and then made brownies in the oven.
My brother and I each ate a piece. We gave a piece to our sister. We didn’t force her, she wanted one. After an hour, my sister told us she didn’t feel anything. She told us she wanted to eat another piece. We didn’t think it was a good idea and told her so. She ate another piece anyway. Why?Teenagers don’t listen.A few hours later she was screaming that she’d never be the same. She was freaking out, and she kept telling us she needed to go to the hospital. It’s funny now. It wasn’t real funny back then. She finally calmed down, but it scared the shit out of us.That night, I put the brownies in some aluminum foil. I put a skull and crossbones on them, and hid them in the back of the fridge so no one would find them. I guess I should have thrown them out, but, like I said, I was a teenage idiot.The next morning I walked downstairs and saw the woman who cleaned our house eating a pot brownie with her morning coffee.I yelled out her name.She looked at me like I was crazy, and said,“What? What’s wrong?”I thought for a quick minute, which is rare for a teenager. Then I said,“Nothing. How are you?”She gave me a funny look. She’s a wonderful woman, has been a part of the family for years and years. I’m still very close with her and her family.But if I told her that she had just eaten a pot brownie, she would have probably freaked out. If I didn’t tell her, maybe she would just feel a little weird, and not think much about it.My Dad used to tell me, “Nobody gets in trouble by keeping their mouth shut.”So I said nothing. And nothing happened. She didn’t jump out of a window, or start a religious cult, or join the circus.After she left, I threw the brownies in the trash.I guess I was starting to grow out of my teenage idiocy period. I’m now in my adult idiocy period…SEARED SCALLOPS WITH GINGER AND GARLIC 
Scallops are for adults only. They’re too expensive to waste on teenagers!When you sear scallops, it’s real important to use dry scallops. These are scallops that have not been injected with water and chemicals.So make sure you use dry scallops — it’s almost impossible to sear wet scallops, because the liquid they throw off screws up the searing process.When you talk to your fish guy at the market, make sure he knows you want dry scallops. Rinse off the scallops and pat dry with paper towels. Keep patting dry until the moisture is gone from the scallops, and the towels do not get damp.Searing is one of my favorite things to do with seafood. It’s quick. It’s easy.After you sear a scallop or a piece of fish, you can eat it just like that. Or you can add a little sauce.The sauce I made consists of garlic and ginger and honey.When you cook scallops, figure on three scallops per person. If you serve two scallops, people will think you’re cheap. If you serve four, you’ll need to take out a loan.In this recipe, I seared 6 scallops, perfect for a nice romantic dinner for two.Me and Batu!There is enough sauce here for 12 scallops! You’ll only need a teaspoon OR LESS per scallop, you’ll have PLENTY left over—it should keep in the fridge for a week.One last thing! Scallops have a little muscle on the side. Peel it off and toss. The muscle, not the scallops!INGREDIENTS
The Sauce1 tablespoon minced garlic1 tablespoon minced ginger¼ cup of soy sauce¼ cup of olive oil2 teaspoons of honey (I sometimes use more)The ScallopsTurbinado sugar (or brown sugar)Salt and pepper1 tablespoon butter1 tablespoon olive oil6 large dry sea scallops, side muscle removedHere we go...Take all of the sauce ingredients, put them in a bowl, and whisk, whisk, whisk. Taste for sweetness, and add a little more honey if you like.Put half the sauce in a small pot over low heat--save the rest in the fridge for next time. Let the sauce reduce a bit as we sear our scallops.Sprinkle the top of each scallop with JUST A LITTLE sugar, kosher salt, and fresh cracked black pepper.Get a medium-size sauté pan. Put the heat on medium-high.Put a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil in the pan.When the butter starts to turn brown and bubble, put the scallops in the pan — seasoned side down.
Sauté for 2 minutes. As the scallops sauté, sprinkle the top side of each scallop with JUST A LITTLE salt, sugar and pepper. If you’re concerned about splattering, place a piece of foil VERY LOOSELY over the pan.After 2 minutes, lift the scallops out of the pan with some tongs.Swish the butter and olive oil around in the bottom of the pan so you’re not placing the un-seared side of the scallop onto a dry pan. You need those juices to sear!Put the scallops back in the pan, un-seared side down. Sear for 2 minutes.Dish it up! Put the scallops on a platter with a sprig of parsley or two. You can also put them on a plate of greens. Grab the pot with the simmering sauce. Spoon a LITTLE over each scallop—a small teaspoon, and…
MANGIAMO!!
Slim Man Cooks Salmon Ella
Batu and I were hanging out at the Slim Shack. I had a piece of salmon, we were listening to Ella Fitzgerald, and I became inspired. So I created this recipe. I call it…Salmon Ella.I love salmon. I love Ella. Put ‘em both together and you got Salmon Ella.One of my top five CDs ever in the history of the world? Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. It really is one of my favorites. Louis Armstrong changed my life. When I was five years old, my Dad took me to a movie called The Five Pennies, and I saw Louis sing and play, and I turned to my Dad and said,“That’s what I want to do.” I wanted to play and sing like Louis Armstrong. I begged my Dad for a trumpet.
A couple weeks later, for Christmas, my Dad got me a plastic toy trumpet. I broke it. I told him I wanted a real trumpet, not a toy. I was a rotten kid, huh? For my birthday—January 16th, keep those cards and presents coming—my Dad rented me a real trumpet. I could hardly hold it up. I had to dig my elbows into my sides when I played. I loved it. I fell in love with music. We got married soon after. We’ve been together ever since.I played trumpet for years. I did Louis Armstrong imitations. I still love Louis Armstrong. And the CD he did with Ella Fitzgerald is great. They did a couple. The first one, released in 1957, is the best of the bunch. It features the Oscar Peterson Trio, Norman Granz produced it (the production is stellar), and not only is it one of the best CDs 
ever, it has one of the best cover photos ever.My Mom was an incredibly smart woman, and a huge hero of mine. She had a tough go of it, yet forged an incredible life without a whole lot of help. When she and my Dad divorced, she found herself with three young kids, no job skills, a high school education, and not much else. She didn’t even know how to drive.Still, she picked herself up, dusted herself off and did what needed to be done. She learned how to drive. She taught herself the skills she needed. She studied the dictionary, the English language, learned how to type and how to write. She taught herself foreign languages.She started counseling troubled teens at John Hopkins Hospital, and ended up running the psychology department at Johns Hopkins University. Guys with more degrees than a thermometer were asking my Mom to help them with papers, articles and theses.
She didn’t have a lot of money. She managed to travel, had a chance to see the world – that was important to her. Music was really important to her. She had a nice stereo, and a great collection of music. But she was frugal. She had to be.When Ella Fitzgerald came to the Lyric Opera House in Baltimore, Maryland, my Mom could only afford one ticket. Which she bought for me. She thought it was important that I see Ella, so I caught the bus, went downtown to the concert and saw Ella Fitzgerald sing with the Billy Taylor Trio.Wow. What a show. I sat in the balcony, and soaked it all up. It was a thrill. Ella Fitzgerald was a wonderful singer. What a voice. Such a pure tone. Great diction, always in tune. Joyful. Girlish. Swinging like nobody’s business. Ella scatted better than anybody. Her scats were as good as any Miles Davis solo.Ella didn’t have an easy life. She was born in Virginia, her dad left when she was an infant. Her Mom died when Ella was fifteen. Her stepdad abused her, so her aunt took her away from Virginia, to New York City. Ella took to the streets of Harlem, was a numbers runner and a lookout for a bordello. She was in and out of reform schools and orphanages.
Then she entered a talent contest at the Apollo, and won. The grand prize was $25. She became a regular at the Apollo, and things took off from there. She started singing with Chick Webb, a drummer who led a big band. She started recording, and a song she co-wrote--“A Tisket, A Tasket”--became a hit. Ella started singing at the Jazz at the Philharmonic series, concerts put on by Norman Granz, who became her manager, and produced those incredible recordings with Louis Armstrong.Ella went on to win 13 Grammys, sell millions of records, and tour the world. She was shy and quiet – but strong and determined. Kind of like my Mom. Except my Mom was never a lookout for a bordello. Not that I know of, anyway.SALMON ELLA
In cooking, just like in music, sometimes you have to improvise.I was going to use honey in this marinade, but I ran out. I used maple syrup instead. My Dad lived in upstate New York, and he had this homemade maple syrup that was so stinkin’ good. So when I ran out of honey, I used a little of my Dad’s maple syrup instead and it was really good.Why do they make soy sauce so salty? The next morning my fingers look like bratwurst and my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. I use low-sodium soy sauce.I like my salmon the way I like my women - wild and Alaskan. There’s a joke in there somewhere, it just hasn’t come to me yet.Salmon are anadromous. It means they are born in fresh water, migrate to salt water, and then return to fresh water to reproduce.Just thought I’d toss that out there.INGREDIENTS1 pound piece of wild salmon filet, skin removedFor the marinade…½ cup low sodium soy sauce1 tablespoon chopped scallions/green onions, bottom root and top leaves cut off and discarded1 tablespoon grated ginger1 tablespoon minced garlic2 tablespoons maple syrup1 teaspoon hot sauce (use less if you don't like it spicy!)Here we go…Rinse off your salmon and pat dry with paper towels.Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.Mix all the marinade ingredients together. Set aside.Put the salmon in a baking dish.
Pour half of the marinade over the salmon. Set the other half aside.When the oven comes to temperature, put the salmon, uncovered, in the oven on the middle rack.Cook for 10 minutes.While the fish cooks, put the remaining marinade in a small saucepan over low heat and reduce for 5 minutes. Remove from heat.After 10 minutes, the fish should be done. Thinner pieces take less time, thicker pieces take more. Ovens are crazy, too. Some run hot, some run cold.Test the fish with a fork. If it flakes it’s done. Some folks like it rare, some like it cooked well. I like it medium. If I want raw fish, I’ll go out for sushi.Dish it up! Put the fish on a nice platter. Drizzle with a little of the reduced marinade, dress it up with a scallion. My broccoli and peppers would go well with this.
MANGIAMO!!!!!
Seared Salmon with Ginger and Scallion Glaze
The first time I went to Nashville was when Ronnie Dunn was competing in the finals of the Marlboro Country Music Talent Contest. It was the late 80’s.We had discovered Ronnie in Tulsa, Oklahoma, at a place called Tulsa City Limits. He did his soundcheck before the show, and I knew he was going to win the whole competition. He did.And he did it in Nashville at a place called the Stockyard, a restaurant that specializes in…beef.I fell in love with Nashville. It’s still one of my favorite towns.When my friend Patrick Clifford moved there a couple years ago, I started going back. I got such a great vibe from the place. But I wasn’t ready to make a move from my hometown of Baltimore.My Dad was not doing well. He was living alone in upstate New York, and it was getting tough for him to deal with all the snow and freezing cold. The closest town was about a half-hour away. To get there you had to drive down dirt roads.Most old folks drive slow. My Dad drove like he’d just robbed a bank.A couple times, he slid off the road into snow banks. So it was time to make a move. He kept the house upstate, and moved to Annapolis, where he was much closer to the family.When he got settled in, I decided to drive to Nashville. I took Batu with me. We looked at a couple of places, and I found a place I really liked. It was dog-friendly. I signed a lease.I wasn’t really looking to make a move. And I don’t know why I pulled the trigger right then and there. But I did.I went back and told my Dad I was moving. He asked me when. I told him…two weeks. He was surprised, but happy for me. I was sad, but it wasn’t like I was moving to the Amazon. Nashville is 700 miles from Annapolis. If anything were to happen, I could be back in a day.So I packed up all my stuff. I don’t have a lot of stuff. I never really wanted to have a lot of stuff. I could put everything I own in a Hefty trash bag liner, sling it over my shoulder, and be gone.And that’s what I did. I grabbed Batu, put him on top of the stuff piled in my car, and I drove to Tennessee. My apartment in Nashville was in a place called the Gulch. The Gulch is Nashville trying to be Manhattan. They had a few high-rise, modern apartment buildings, and some cool little bars and cafes and restaurants, but it wasn’t real popular. Or populated.My building was called the Velocity. It was maybe half-full. It had covered parking, and it was very modern. The apartments were very small. Mine was 500 square feet or so. But I dug it.There were train tracks right behind the apartment. Not just one or two…a bunch of them. It never bothered me; I liked the sounds of trains going by.I had a balcony out front. I could see Music Row. And I could see that the Gulch was starting to build up. An organic grocery called The Turnip Truck was going up a block away. A clothing and music store called Two Old Hippies was being built. More high-rises were being built all around.Nashville was growing up in a hurry.My amigo Patrick was taking me around town, introducing me to some wonderful people. Robert Ellis Orrall and I became friends. He’s an amazing guy. He set up the showcase at the Bluebird that launched Taylor Swift into the stratosphere. He co-wrote a lot of songs with her.
Robert also has a very cool record company called Infinity Cat. It’s a pop/punk/alternative label. His sons, Jeff The Brotherhood, were on Infinity Cat. They just got signed to Warner Brothers. Infinity Cat has a band called Diarrhea Planet that is about to blow up—they just got a rave review in Rolling Stone.Patrick also introduced me to Angelo Petraglia. Angelo produces Kings of Leon. He gave them their signature sound. Angelo has a band called The Jane Shermans that are one of my favorites. His
wife sings lead and plays bass. They sound like The Pretenders meets Missing Persons meets U2. I saw them at The Basement.The Basement is a showcase club that holds maybe 50 people. It's in the basement of a record store called Grimey's. That's right, a record store. They used to have them all over the USA. Now there are only a few left. Grimey's is one of them. And the club downstairs is one of the coolest around.
And one of the coolest bands I've seen at the Basement is St. Paul and the Broken Bones. They are amazing. The lead singer looks like Drew Carey, and sings like Wilson Pickett.
Patrick looked at me the first time we saw them and said…“Star Time!”
I told everyone who would listen to watch out for St. Paul and the Broken Bones. Last week they were on CBS TV.Nashville is cool. It didn’t used to be cool, but now it’s on fire. GQ calls it “The hippest town in America.” The New York Times calls it “The It City.” I’ve seen more beards and skinny jeans there than Brooklyn.
Artists, bands, songwriters are flocking to the place. Record labels, music biz people, are moving there in droves. The Black Keys, Jack White, Sheryl Crow and tons of other acts now call Nashville home.There is more construction going on in Nashville than I’ve ever seen in one city. Houses, apartments, malls, restaurants, cafes, clubs, office buildings…the town is blowing up.The TV show ‘Nashville’ is bringing a lot of attention to the town. I’ve done some acting on that show. It’s pretty cool--since they had me on it!The only thing missing in Nashville is a cool jazz club, a place where a guy like Slim Man could play.Or cook. Or clean...Seared SalmonI had a hot date. It was a hot day in Nashville. I had tickets to the Sade concert that night at the Bridgestone arena. Patrick got me tickets at the last second. He's a well-connected man.So I had this idea to do a little seared salmon with a glaze. I went out to the store, bought what I needed for the glaze, went to the really expensive organic grocer to get the really wild Coho salmon, and I went back to the Slim Shack to put it all together.I was going to do a glaze with soy sauce, scallions and ginger, similar to my Salmon Ella recipe. I put together some soy sauce, some grated ginger, some scallion, some garlic, and some hot sauce...and it sucked. It was salty, so I added a little honey. It didn’t taste right. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get it right.Hot Date was coming over in 20 minutes, but I didn’t panic. I threw the soy sauce glaze in the disposal, and started all over. Tried it again with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar instead of soy sauce. And I nailed it.I put the salmon over some organic mixed greens, and took an heirloom tomato and sliced it into small wedges, and placed them around the edges of the plate. It looked great. It tasted scrump-didlly-umptious.Oh, and Sade? It was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen Hendrix twice. Saw the Doors on the first tour, and their last tour. Saw U2 at the Ritz in NYC on their first tour. The Police on their first tour. I saw The Stones (The Rolling Stones, not the Flintstones) in 1972 when Stevie Wonder opened up. Earth, WInd and Fire, Gladys Knight, The Spinners...I've seen so many great shows.And Sade’s show--August 1, 2011--in Nashville was one of the best I’ve ever seen. The staging, the production. the pacing, the musicianship, the lights, her voice, the songs...just excellent. And Sade was born the same day as a guy named Slim Man. January 16, 1914.
IngredientsThe Salmon:2 pieces of salmon, about 1/3 pound each, filets, skinless, about an inch thickkosher salt (just a sprinkle)brown sugar or turbinado sugar (just a sprinkle)1 tablespoon of butter1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oilThe Glaze:3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar1 tablespoon chopped scallions (use the middle green part)1 teaspoon grated ginger1/2 teaspoon minced garlicThe SaladOrganic mixed greensOne heirloom tomato, sliced into small wedgesHere we go...Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees. Rinse off the salmon and pat dry with paper towels.Put all of the glaze ingredients in a jar, and shake it up. Set aside.Sprinkle a little kosher salt, and a little brown sugar (just a little!) on one side of the salmon.Get a small fry pan, put it on medium-high heat. Add the butter and the olive oil, and when it starts smoking, add the salmon, sprinkled side down, and cook for 1 MINUTE AND THIRTY SECONDS!While it’s cooking, sprinkle the un-sprinkled side with a little kosher salt and a little brown sugar. Turn the salmon over, and cook for 1 MINUTE AND THIRTY SECONDS!Remove from the heat. Get a baking dish, put just enough olive oil in the bottom to keep the salmon from sticking, and place the salmon in the dish. Pour half the glaze over one piece of the salmon, and the other half of the glaze over the other piece of salmon.Put the salmon in the oven and cook for five minutes. Don’t overcook.Put some greens on a plate. Place the tomato wedges around the edges. Put the salmon on top of the greens, pour a little marinade from the baking dish onto the salmon, and a little onto the greens, and…
MANGIAMO!!!!!!!